Saturday, January 30, 2010

Crazy Saturday night

So I'm watching the Miss America Pageant right now- the swim suit section is currently on. You know it's the section where girls walk across a stage in 1990 style swim suits in tacky heels. Perhaps it Hi def television, but some of these gals are thick. In a good way though, I'm just so used to only seeing stick thin girls on tv wearing swim suits, I mean besides Jersey Shore, so it's nice to actually see real bodies. Some of these chicks have legs of body builders almost. But speaking of Jersey Shore, I read in US mag today that Snooky says she weighs 98 pounds. Hmmm. I wonder what she weighed when she "had an eating disorder." I know Snooky is a little nugget, but there is no way in hell she weighs below 100 pounds. Her hair sprayed poof alone has to weigh at least five pounds. Give it up Snickers. Back to the pageant though, Ms. Delaware is not only red headed, but she has a lisp, as well. Wonder how she slipped in, either way, I'm pulling for her. Speaking of lisps, Sara and I attended our first Theta alum meeting on Thursday. Yup.... I'm not going to say much about it. Thetas come in all shapes and sizes and speech impediments. I'll leave it at that. Just made me appreciate Rho chapter a little bit more. Was that the name? I'm proud of me if I got that right, took me about four years to learn the names of offices in the house, pretty sure the only one I know now is Madame President.
Today I happened to catch the special on Mermaid Girl-The Last 6 Months on TLC. Whoa, talk about a tear jerker. That little Shiloh was a fighter. If you're gona watch the special you better prepare yourself, it's intense. One day Shiloh is at camp the next day she's gone. Her famous words, "the real star is on the inside." God love that child. I can barely wait for TLC this week to see Mama Duggar give birth to her 19th child. Duggars are a lot like cats, you can't have just 18.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Kitty cats.

I got some big news today. I've been approved to be a foster home for cats, I am very excited. Originally, I wanted to adopt a Haitian, what with the adoption laws being set aside for all of the poor little orhpans over there right now. I pictured myself being just like Sandra Bullock. I would raise the little Haitian to be very athletic, and dress him all cute and classy, just like myself obviously. To keep him on the right path I would read him horror stories at night about people like Tiger and Magic Johnson, and a couple years down the road they might have made a movie about me even, could have been called The Quake Side. But, Sara suggested I start with a cat or a dog before I try to adopt a child. So after a long chat with the ladies at Kitty City, they said that after I take a few classes I will be able to bring kittys into my home! I've even volunteered to take the classes so I can take kittens in that require bottle feeding. The ladies just warned me that I can't get too attached to the babies. I do struggle with this, like my cat Chula I found in the gutter by my house that I let sleep in my bed with me even though my parents said not to bring it in the house. Well the joke was on me, Chula gave me a pretty bad rash on my arm, commonly known as ring worm I guess.... I hated to start off my freshman year of college with a rash, I thought that wasn't supposed to come until a few weeks into college. So now I just have to make my apt cat friendly, which won't be too hard. I'll just dig out all of my old cat posters and cat quotes and hang them around, one of my personal favorites:
"Cats are like Lays potatoe chips. You can't have just one." Classic.
The shelter asked how many cats I could take in at once. I have a pretty small apartment, so I said seven or eight would be the max probably. Hopefully Sara won't mind a litterbox or two in the living room.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

He's back.

So just when I was feeling comfortable enough to sleep in my bed without my bible or my mase the damn KC raper struck again. He got two girls last weekend! Eeeeek. But, I found the descriptions the women gave of the man to be a little odd, however. They described him to have a very deep and smooth voice. I was waiting for them to say he was incredibly handsome and gentle and asked the victims repeatedly if they would like him to stop... Ok thats insensitive, but I just feel like describing a raper's voice as very smooth is not exactly the first word I would think of. But luckily, I have never been in that situation. So anywho, it's back to sleeping with my mase everynight, and perhaps keeping loose marbles all over the floor right near my window so when the intruder breaks in he will slip on the marbles and then a jar of glue will cover him and then a bag of feathers.
So my high school career just hasn't been going too hot lately. I was going the bathroom today and some smart ass kid turned the lights off in the girls restroom. And it was then as I sat in the dark I wondered what in the hell I am doing with my life. It just put me in a really pissy mood. No pun intended... I just need to think of a really great internet business and get rich real fast. Or I need to break my way into Reality TV somehow. Maybe I should try out for Season 2 of Jersey Shore. My name could be Twix or something, or Twickers.

Bachelor Edition #4

With every episode I watch I get more and more convinced about how awful I would be on this show. I mean playing Hide and Seek in a vineyard? Who does that? I really hope it's the producers or something telling these people to run around looking like dip shits. Speaking of- let's talk about Gia.
Oh Gia. Gia, gia, gia where do I start with you? Well first of all you remind me alot of a monkey, even more so when you wrap your legs around Jake and insist he carries you everywhere like a pet chimp. And your laugh kinda reminds me of the way chimps communicate. You're probably just about as smart as a chimp, as well-
Jake: "They used to call me Mr. Dateless in highschool."
Gia: "Oh my gosh. Why?"
Well, I am going to go out on a limb here and assume it's because Jake couldn't get dates. And does anyone else always think of Stephanie Tanner's best friend from Junior High Gia, who was a little too rough for Stephie, whenever they hear the name Gia? I wonder what happened to Full House Gia, I liked her. She wore black crop tops and leather jackets way before they were in. But back to point, I honestly do like Bachelor Gia, she's just all wrong for Cheesy Jake. I think Gia should date The Situtation, they seem a little more right for each other.
I'll tell you who I lost a lot of respect for this last episode and that's Ali. I saw crazy flags popping up all over when she was on scene. You could see the venom in her eyes when Vienna got a rose. But get the hell over it, it's not the Ali show. It drove me crazy when she claimed that,
"If Vienna gets a rose I will give Jake a talking to that he would never expect. And then I will tell him I'm pregnant so he has to choose me, and if he denies it's possible I will tell him a real man would raise a baby regardless of if it's really his, and then I will eat him."
Seriously though, who are these girls to think they can choose who is right for Pilot Pansy Jake? Only Jake knows what's going on in that girly mind of his.
I am still rooting for little Tynley. As I said before, she and Jake are like two peas in a pod. I was sad to see that little Rat girl go home, I don't know her name, but I think she might be in the Arquette family.
Here's some advice for Cory- never tell a guy he "should feel nervous" around you. Not exactly a great pick up line.
I was sad Jake didn't cry this episode but I am sure more tears will come soon, I guess I'll just have to keep watching THIS SEASON OF THE BACHELOR.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Living the dream.

So I'm not claiming to be Patty Polite or anything, but 98% of highschooler's are just plain rude. Here I am doing a little song and dance for the little jerks, even making them gourmet food to eat, for FREE, I might add, and rarely do I even get so much as a thank you. Where on earth were these kids taught to try food someone graciously made for them and to simply respond with a "SICK this is nasty," or "this smells like fertilizer." I mean those are just examples. But, seriously how rude, if you don't like it keep your dirty little mouth shut. I think my time in this high school career focused field might be dwindling. I mean it is kinda ironic for someone who didn't exactly love high school to take a job where they have to go right back to it. I mean that would be like a pedophile working in a retirement home, it just doesn't make sense. I am just scared that one of these times some kid is just going to provoke me to my breaking point at which I would do something I might really regret. Rereading that I realise it sounds very threatening. But my "breaking point" typically just involves crying a lot and getting really red in the face and acting like a big 3 year old.
On a happier note I was able to live out one of my many life goals yesterday. I had the privilege to live "The Office" in real life. I always tell Sara when we watch that show that I want to work there and hang out with Jim and Pam and Dwight ext, well not Kevin (the slow talking fat man) he is not included in the "ext." But anywho- we had a mid year meeting with all the people on the inside, the people who sit on the phones all day in the office. As it turns out, the "inside people" are the cast from The Office. The lady I saw first was Phyllis, she was a bit thinner in real life, then I saw that weasel Ryan and when I got into the back room where they were all having cake for some weird office celebration I saw the entire cast. It was amazing. They all had their special inside jokes and bickered with each other just like on the show. When it came time for team bonding we went into a special conference room, (just like on the show!) and played a work version of Jeopardy. The boss of the insiders (Michael Scott, duh) ran the show and made awkward comments the entire time. The game almost had to end early because the two teams started to get too competitive and a fight almost broke out about which team got to stand on the side of the table closest to the bell that had to be pushed to answer the question. It was intense. But I was loving it, I just loved watching the interaction, it was an office environment I had never known. I just sat and smiled from ear to ear taking it all in, for just a moment, I was living the dream.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Bachelor Edition #3

Where do I even start? Well Nebraska was sent home, as was another girl who I think might have been the camera man's sister- had anyone else ever seen that girl before becase I sure never had. Nebraska was sent home for being a tease, she was pretty caught off guard by it too, it was great. Even as Jake was asking her why she's so two faced she was giggling and batting her eyes just thinking her game was working. She cried afterward and said she could go on a date every night if she wanted, in Imperial, NE? I'm real sure...
I am truly sad to say Mad Michelle got the boot, well technically she volunteered to go, assuming Jake would beg and plead her to stay because as she said herself,
"Many girls, well at least a few are certain I'm the one." She seriously said this, and then she set Chris Harrison on fire using her mind just like I thought she would.
The worst part of the show was definitely the comedy act. I was so embarrassed watching the girls try to tell jokes it was uncomfortable. Poor little Tynley simply contorted her body into a pretzel and that was supposed to be her joke- virgin till marriage my ass. Although if I could choose anyone for Pilot Jake it would be her sweet beaten soul. Not because I like her, but I just think her and Jake could spend their nights cuddling and poking eachothers noses and watching Hugh Grant movies fast forwarding through any sex scenes together for the rest of their lives.
I was disapointed with Ali when her joke was something about Tigger looking for his shit in the toilet or something- it was pretty awful. Cori, another girl I had never seen before tonight, was kinda funny. She just made fun of the other girls which is always good. Apparantly Vienna is like Satan of the house. I just think Vienna's dumb as hell, but there is no need to get all heated about it. I was waiting for foam to come out of Ali's mouth when she yelled at V for calling her fake.
And of course we had to see the heart wrenching child -reunites with- mom date. This date scene gave me a fond memory of the crazy lady from last year with the child. The crazy gypsy lady with the beads and bracelets and butterfly clips. I kinda miss her. And I miss her line backer 4 year old daughter who tackled her on the beach last year, as well. Wonder where life has taken those two...
With Michelle off the show I don't think I will like watching nearly as much. Who will fill her crazy shoes? I guess I'll just have to keep watching THIS SEASON ON THE BACHELOR.

Sometimes you wanna go...

Where everybody knows your name. And that place is Lincoln. I tried hard to stay the entire weekend in KC. I had full intentions of doing so, I really did. But one thing led to another and around 3:45 p.m. on Saturday afternoon I found myself making the three hour drive to good ol Stinkin Lincoln. A three hour drive which included fog so heavy I could not see a car in front of me until I was practically driving on top of it. There were a few moments when I wondered what on earth I was doing driving three hours simply to drink. I mean it's Lincoln, what in the hell was I doing? But you know what, it wasn't the place I was risking my life to drive to, it was the people I was driving to drink with. Ok and the Rail and the Bar. I was ready to leave Lincoln, and I am glad I did (really I am) but now I just wish everyone there would come here. That would be great. Lincoln is like that great sloppy drunk uncle. It doesn't judge you, no matter how ridiculous you act or look, and it is always waiting with open arms to drink with you right away the next time. And just when you get tired of your uncle because he's too drunk and a little too of control so you leave it doesn't take too long for you to kinda miss the old drunk and the stanky scent of whiskey on his breath.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Douche Lords

After the month off I had for Christmas it's been a real struggle for me to be back in the classroom giving presentations and doing food demo after food demo. I retired the Jicama salsa and moved onto a Middle Eastern bread salad called a Fattoush. Fattoush sounds like douche and speaking of douches, I dealt with many yesterday during my day of 6 presentations. It was awful, 6 is just way too many to do in one way. After one class the kids are all piling out and I see this one guy kinda hanging around, and let me tell ya, he was a real douche lord, dressed in an 1999ish argyle sweater with show choir black dress shoes, through out my whole presentation he was rolling his eyes and whispering shit to his friends. It's really hard for me not to completely call students like this out, because there is nothing more that I would love than to just completely belittle the arrogant high school shits. But back to my story- so Mr. Argyle says to me,
"So what are you?"
I could have so many great responses for this question. But I was nice,
"Well... what do you mean what am I?"
"Like are you a chef? Or a student there? What do you do?"
Not like it's any of his stupid business.
"I'm basically a recruiter. I work for the school. This is my job."
"So you went to school to get this job?"
Wait a second. Is this little asshole belittleing me?!
"Well yes."
"So you're going to do this for the rest of your life? Come into high schools every day?" And then he walked out before I could answer.WTF just happened? It was one of those rare moments I didn't know what to think or even say. I mean of course I'm not going to do this forever, just until I win the lottery probs.
Just recalling this incident I'm getting all irritated. Let me discuss something that makes me happy: The Jersey Shore.
Oh Jersey Shore people, you make me feel ten times happier about my own life. I count my blessings after every episode, I'm thankful for the fact I've never been hit in the face by a guy, thankful an obese WT has never tried to attack me, and I'm happy I don't live in a place in which it's normal to wear fish net tights as pants, or lacy bras as shirts. But really, Snickers? Anorexic? I'm sorry but I'm going to have to call your bluff on this one. I find it hard to believe that you once "ate a cracker a day" as you claimed. I'm sure you were as anorexic as much as I used to be a sweet, soft spoken girl in high school. But its cute you pretend that you were. You've definitely made a great recovery.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I didn't win.

It hurt. The moment the numbers were posted on powerball.com and it was revealed that not a single one of my 22 tickest was a winner I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe that everything I had been planning for the past two hours about my new millionaire life was not going to occur. No "Congrats I won the lottery" party in Hawaii next week (I thought Hawaii would be good in case some of my friends don't have passports) no Kings of Leon to play at the party, and I was going to have Miley come and play, as well-(for the kids)... No new basketball court for Norfolk Senior High named the Wolfe Den. All my dreams just dissapeared faster than it took me to spend $22 on supid tickets. And I worked hard for that money. There are very few people in this world that I allow to let me feel insecure and those damn snubby workers at Plato are one of the few. I don't know what it is about them, I mean they work at a second hand store for God's sake but everytime I bring in clothes I get kind of dressed up and try to look nice because I know they are judging me. And then they rudely go through my bag just tossing aside some of my favorite old shirts, you know nothing is ever good enough for Platos. I think you have to bring in clothes with the tags still on them if you want to get a decent amount of money back. So what do I do with the small amount of money they give me? I blow it on lottery tickets. Spoken like a true WT. So here I sit now, $22 more broke,drinking hot chocolate and schnapps all by my lonesome. Hmmph.
Let me give one public service announcement quickly, if you haven't already, text Haiti to 90999 to donate $10 to those poor Haitians. It will appear on your phone bill, its for the Red Cross. I watch a lot of tv, so I've been wrapped up in this catastrophe, and its bad shit over there. So don't be a stingy piggy American. Do it. Thank you.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

#22

So today I realised that in order for me to pay off my student loans and not have to go on welfare I need to take out another loan. I have to get another loan in order to pay off a loan? Are you kidding me!? It gets better. After numerous credit checks, I am officially unable to get a loan. Thats bs. I pay off my credit cards like every month, and let me tell ya, I have A LOT of credit cards. Name a store and I will bet you I have their card. It's just what I do. So after speaking with Wells Fargo for over an hour and then proceeding to cry hysterically because my student loans are going to cause me to go on food stamps and wear fake Uggs and carry a Dooney and Burke bag I took the next logical step. I sold some clothes to Platos Closet, and took the money to buy lottery tickets. Twenty two tickets exactly. For those of you who don't know, 22 is my number. It's because when I was born the doctors told my parents I only had a 22% chance to live. Ha. That would be a good reason for a lucky number, but it's actually because #22 was Q's number in Love and Basketball, I would have been Monica's number, but #23 is oh so cliche. So anywho, I've just always known that if times get real bad all I will have to do is buy 22 lottery tickets and I will for sure win. So in like 2 hours I am going to be a millionaire. I'm pretty excited. I listened to the song "My Futures so bright I gotta wear shades" on repeat tonight while I walked on the treadmill. I am going to be extremely generous when I win. I'm for sure going to help the ASPCA animal fund,and I am going to create a scholarship in my name, in order to even qualify you have to have a 24 or below on your ACT. And you have to prove you go out and socialize and stuff. I might make even make applicants tell me a joke or two at the scholarship interview. I'm really tempted to make a big enough donation to the Husker football team that I would be allowed to run onto the field with the team at the first home game...I'm talking the tunnel walk and everything. I get goosebumps just thinking about it!! I can't even type anymore I have to start making the list of people I can't wait to help out... and those I won't. Norfolk senior high admin you know who you are.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Bachelor edition #2

Well adorable little Rosaline was sent home. Any tiny bit of respect I had for Jake went completely out of the window when he pretended to cry about it. Really Jake? You've know her for like 2 minutes, and you're crying? I don't know why I am surprised though, he was a contestant on the Bachelorette for God's sake- that's not exactly a show I think most normal guys would strive to be on. I am going to miss Rosaline though, she was pretty. Snatchy, but pretty. Nebraska girl gives me a bad feeling, I don't know why, something doesn't seem quite right about her. I mean, how many really good looking 30 year old nannies do you see roaming around Imperial, Nebraska? Well, I've never been there, but I am going to go out on a limb and assume it's not exactly a high number. And let's not forget her opening line to Jake stepping out of the limbo
"I want you to close your eyes, and picture your favorite place."
I think Jake says the sky, or Texas, something predictable. And little Nebraska replies,
"Mine is snowboarding." Huh? I guess I didn't realise snowboarding was a place. So I wonder if her favorite thing to do is Hawaii? Thanks for reinforcing the image the rest of the world already has of us Nebraskans.
Gia might go far, but she won't get picked. She's too exotic for pretty Jake. I have a sneaking suspicion that Gia played the role of Reese Witherspoon's sorority sister in the first Legally Blonde-the friend who gets engaged, look into it. I think the girl who was beaten by her husband and then cheated on has a good chance. I guess she hasn't admitted she was beaten, she only said they were virigins when they got married then he cheated on her, but I can see it in her eyes and the way she speaks so quiet and soft as if she knows she'll get a beer bottle to the head if she talks any louder. And then there is this crazy ass red head, maybe she's brunette, I'm not exactly sure, she has already cried a hundred times and threatened to leave more than once. I'm gona keep my eye on that one, I'm quite sure there will be a episode she is going to freak out so bad she ends up starting some of the other girls on fire simply with the power of her mind. I guess only time will tell on THIS SEASON OF THE BACHELOR.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Bachelor edition.

I could never be on the Bachelor. For starters, I would be the one who drinks too much and either a. falls asleep before the rose ceremony or b. misses the rose ceremnoy because I would be in the kitchen making nachos. But if I was to be on the Bachelor the first thing I would say as I stepped out of the limo to make myself stand out would be something along the lines of: "Hi, I'm not going to say a stupid ass corny line that will you make you remember me before the rose ceremony. Instead- I am going to punch you in the face, so that regardless of what happens, you will probably remember me for the rest of your life." I don't know, just a thought. I'll tell what what I wouldn't say:
"So, do you have those guns licensed?"
"Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride."
"I just want to be your co pilot."
Nor would I ever refer to myself as a "cuddle bug."
Yes, I am sad to say that all of lines above were actually said by women on the show. Women, that I might add, who were not sent home. The one lady with any poetic potential whom said to Jake the Pilot,
"You can land your plane on my landing strip anytime,"
Was sent home. So now, as usual, we are left with a bundle of overly emotional husband seeking late 20-early 30 year old women. But hell, I'm going to watch. I don't have much else to do. The big hype for tomorrow is about one of the contestants who has been sleeping with someone on the show, now maybe I have seen too many VH1 reality shows, but am I the only one who when I heard this immediately thought it was two girl contestants hooking up? I mean they said "she's been messing around with someone on the show?" Meaning another girl, right? Well, apparanly I'm wrong, it was with like a camera guy or something.
The only thing I want to know is why is Jake, a good looking pilot, from a family of Doctors, not married? I mean, he says over and over he's looking for a wife,so I feel like if he has wanted to get married for a while it should have happened. There are plenty of women out there just dying to get a ring on their finger, more than men anway. So when a man is struggling to find someone to marry him, well I know it's sexist, but it really makes me wonder.... Something just isn't right. I hope to have all of my questions answered THIS SEASON ON THE BACHELOR.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

And another SNOW DAY

Yes, work cancelled yet again. So what did I do with my day you ask? Well I got up early and had some coffee and read the paper, then I went for a five mile run, yes, it was cold but sometimes you just have to tough it out. I figured the run would provide me with ample energy for when I went to the soup kitchen to work a long shift feeding the hungry. Who am I kidding. I spent the whole day on facebook. I know none of you believed the first part, anyway. I want to know what is up with the new trend in status's that is the "Dear" thing, here's a few examples:
"Dear Summer, please come quickly." "Dear Spanish exam, I hate you.." you know how it goes. It's quite the trend I see. I don't really like it personally, maybe because I didn't think of it, but it's dumb. What else did I notice today... Oh yes, Hangover quotes. Love the movie, but really, are we still quoting it? Next. I'm being critical I know, but like I said I've spent A LOT of time on fb the past couple days and these are simply a few things I jotted down, Chris says I'm a Fb creep, I prefer FB extrodinaire. But I'm not really into titles. Texts from textsfromlastnight.com posted on walls simply does not get old. I laugh at almost every single one of them. I creeped, I mean, investigated a lot of Freshmans pics. I can do so now with out getting angry or jealous, for the most part I mean. Its kinda weird to see little Thetas in the house because I have no clue who they are (I mean beside what I have studied on their profiles- basic about me's, likes and dislikes, pics, ext ...) I think if FBstalkers had to register themselves I would forsure have to have a special flag on my profile that lets people know I am a grade A stalker and I shouldnt be allowed within 30 ft of certain profiles. I don't mean any harm though, I just like to peep. I mean creep. I mean look.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Snow dayssss

Okay, okay, I kind of take back my piss poor attitude about the snow yesterday, especially given the fact school was cancelled today so that means my work was cancelled. I swear I feel just like a fifth grader as I watch the news at night just praying that I will see the school I am supposed to work in the next day flash across the bottom screen. The only difference is that in fifth grade I didn't celebrate with alcohol, not usually. Now if only school will get cancelled tomorrow I will really be excited. Not having worked since about December 17th I am really struggling to find the necessary enthusiam to go in and speak to high schoolers. I mean especially knowing I have to speak to Counciltucky residents tomorrow. I struggle to connect with those kids. Half are ghetto, half are farm kids, and half don't speak English, the thing they all have in common is they're all related. Counciltucky is the West Virigina of middle America. I'm kidding, I shouldn't speak so harshly. It's just when you're raised in Norfolk you tend to have pretty high standards...I mean...
So I'm hoping to drive back to KC this weekend. It's been quite a while since I've been there. I'm doing pretty good at keeping it under wraps that I have indeed moved from Nebraska. Part of my New Years resolution is to really try hard to meet friends there. I havn't figured out how, but I think it involves venturing out of Overland Park for a night or two, OP is great, don't get me wrong, but I feel a tad on the outside given the fact I'm not thirty, married with children and don't drive a Range Rover. Yet- anyway. I bought my powerball tickets today (the Norfolk in me) and am really feeling good about my numbers. I bet I'll be the first lotto winner to have a college degree- which is OFFICIAL OFFICIAL as Sara told me my diploma arrived in the mail about a week ago. So now that I know my degree is real, I can say that college was such a breeze, almost more so than high school. I mean that says alot, not just anyone gets into UNL. You have to have at least a 20 on your ACT... Thank God for the reading/writing section of the ACT, I think I scored about the level of a ten year old in the math and science section. So like I said, 2010 will be a good year, diploma in hand, new friends to be made, I'm ready to take on the world.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Ugh.

Happy time is over. I hate this time of year. Absolutely hate it. I'm on such a high starting in about October what with the pretty leaves on the trees, and Halloween, then it's Thanksgiving, then Christmas and finally New Years Eve. It all happens too fast. And when it's all over the only thing I am left with is about ten extra pounds and a very bleak checking account. It just sucks. And to make matters worse it's colder than shit and the snow keeps coming down. I don't think it's ever going to stop snowing here. Winter clothes just aren't flattering enough for this. In an attempt to escape the post Christmas blues Chris and I went skiing in Vail last week. But it doesn't seem quite right to call what I was doing "skiing." It was more like sliding, I slid back and fourth as slowly as possible down the mountain. Knees bent, skis as far apart as possible, toes pointed together- my form is impecable. My dad suggested I should ask the ski shop to rent me a sled, instead. I can't tell you how many times people blew by me and rudely kicked up a cloud of powder behind them directly into my face. Nothing hurts the self esteem more than having a ski school of five year olds, I'm not kidding these babies could barely walk I bet,would zoom by me on the mountain. I think they were doing it on purpuse too. They were taunting me, I could tell. But it was all worth it at the end of the day when I would get to sit and drink as many warm drinks as I pleased. So really, it was a nice trip, everything was great- well everything except when Chris and I took the wrong path in an attempt to ski right to our hotel and ended up skiing right onto a road, a road in a completely different town than where we were actually staying. What can you do.
2009 is done, no more, in the past. 2010 will be an exciting year, I can tell. I do regret to say we have already lost a good one in this year thus far, RIP Casey Johnson, heiress of Johnson & Johnson. I am sure you will be greatly missed, especially by your lover Tila Tequila, and maybe even by your adopted black child that you saw on the rare occassion you were sober. Tell Brittany Murphy hello for me.
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