Yesterday might not go down in the books as one of my "better days." Will Smith would most definitely have been disappointed in me and my lack of pursuit of happiness. I cried, I stomped my feet, I drank heavily, I killed a hooker, (joke!) I didn't really drink heavily. And I think I've got dead hookers on the mind on account of the great movie I just watched, Lincoln Lawyer. Not at all what I thought it was going to be about (a small town lawyer in Lincoln, Nebraska defending a high profile case about a man named Carl Pelini and the dead hooker found in his Embassy Suite hotel room) even though that wasn't the exact plot it was still good, never the less. I guess I have a soft spot for movies about well-intioned hustlers, like I've said before, I used to sell candy on the black market in grade school. I wish I could figure out a fun, but legal way to become a hustler here in Chicago. That would solve all of my problems.
So back to my pursuit of happiness, which by the way I think is much easier said than done. I'd rather have an eight year old African American child and have to carry around large machines from door to door than do what I do. Will didn't have it so bad, the guy could afford a rubix cube for God's sake, could his life be that awful? Maybe I'm just idealistic, maybe that term doesn't even fit this situation. But why is it so wrong to want to quit something when you just know it doesn't fit? What's with all the bullshit about "stick it out," "give it a few more weeks," "it's too soon to tell anything yet." When you know, you know. What's the point of dragging something out that you know doesn't work? Does it make me a quitter or a giver-upper? I don't think so at all. I just think it means that I am very decisive and know exactly what I want- or what I don't want. I haven't quit just yet. I am really trying, against my better judgement, to hang in for a few more days.
On the other hand, my sister is currently attending the regional meeting I should have been attending, had I not quit that culinary job I used to have ages ago. My sister doesn't do the culinary thing, but she does something similar in Omaha, our family prefers to share jobs in case you haven't noticed. So she has been sending me little updates about the coworkers we see once a year and could care less about. It's made my day go pretty quick. Turns out there's lots of rumors going around about M-E and the reason to which I jumped ship. I'm loving it. One classy gal who I used to work with in KC apparently had her Tj Maxx panties in a bunch when she got wind of the fact that I was getting to work the summer in Chicago because she too would have liked to go away for the summer... Had she known she could have taken that illusive three day getaway to Branson she would have jumped on it. Poor Lucy Bell, gotta take those opportunities when they arise, there's no telling how often you'll get the chance for a three day all expenses paid vacay at the Branson Motel 6, all circus shows included and everything. Another employee heard I got an agent and have signed on with a production company in LA to get my movie going... What an awful rumor to having going (thanks Jade.) Old coworkers are like the Westboro Church in Topeka, interesting at first when you only have to see them once in a while, but if you run into them too much it gets to be annoying and too satanic like. I like to keep my past in the past, but for now I can't help but relish in the fun work gossip. I'm hoping that by the end of the week Jade will have them all convinced my movie is not only being made, but I've signed on Roseanne Barr to play the role of my old boss. It's going to be called "The Devil Wears Kohls." Or "The Devil Wears Bebe Because She Still Thinks It's a High End Brand." Oh, I could do this all day. That old boss of mine was a hoot. If there is ever a day I run into her in the future that would be the day I die a happy gal, because I've rehearsed in my bedroom mirror countless times what I would say to that woman. I can't say it on here, that's just too risky, I learned the hard way about the power of hit lists in middle school. But I can tell you one thing, it's good and it's spot on. That means nothing to you because none of you know her, but just imagine the nastiest boss lady you've ever had and then multiply it, and dye it's hair that fake black hairstylist-esk color and put it in a cheap suit and cheetah print BCBG heels.
So anyway, I'm just trying to follow in the footsteps of every AA survivor, just take it one day at a time. And keep a little bit of vodka in your bottom drawer. It's all I can do at this point. Things will get better. The lotto is pretty big for tomorrow and I've got a real good feeling about it this time. August 10,2011: the day I won the lottery. It just has a ring to it.