Friday, July 27, 2012

The Most Indistinguishable Girl in the World

So you're all familiar with the Most Interesting Man in the World, right?


He doesn't always drink beer, but when he does it's Dos Equis.

Well here's a little Friday fun fact about me:
I don't want to boast, but I am the Most Indistinguishable Girl in the World.
I'm not kidding.
For a very long time now, at least five years I'd say,
I get falsely recognized/someone thinks they know me, at least once a week.
I'm not even exaggerating.
And I'm not trying to be one of those girls who's saying it because,
"yeah, everyone tells me I look like Megan Fox..."
Not at all.
No, apparently I look like your cousin, or your friend from college,
or the girl who dated that one guy, what was his name again???...
That's me.
It happens every where.
At bars, at restaurants, shopping, working, weddings, there is always someone
who thinks they know me, but they're not sure how.
I get it, I'm generic looking.

wait, is that the girl from the bar who wouldn't pay the bathroom attendant last weekend?

The most recent situation was Tuesday at the school I was working at.
A very large, and very vivacious African American woman came hauling up to me,
grabbed my arm and pulled me aside and said,

"Now girl, I know I know you. Which high school did you go to?"

"Norfolk Senior High." I repeated.
Which is roughly 800 miles from Chicago. In northeastern Nebraska.
So that connection would have been real out there...

"Hmm, really? How do I know you then? Because I know I do. I know I do!"

It's how it always go.

I think I know that girl from college. Is she the creep who used to try to catch the stray cats on campus?

A previous situation was just a few days before that, last Friday evening in Wrigleyville.
The door guy at the bar we were heading into looked at me and laughed and said:
"Damn, you finished that bottle fast."

So I thought that he was either implying:
a. I already looked drunk- which made me feel bad because it was only 6:00 p.m. and I wasn't!
or
b. he thought I was sneaking a bottle into the bar.

"What? I don't have a bottle." I said as I opened my purse to prove it to him.
And then he looked all confused and said,

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

You and the rest of the world.

Isn't that the girl who performs at little kids' birthday parties?


So after many years of trying to figure out what to do with this super power of mine,
I've finally decided.
I'm going to screw with people.
From here on out, I am going to be that girl they know.
When someone says, "hey I recognize you, are you..."
I'm just going to butt in right there and say,
"Yes, yes I am. Now how the hell have you been and why has it been so long?"
And then we'll take it from there.


The Most Indistinguishable Girl in the World:


At the doctor's office,
they've never asked her to fill out a form.

She's been invited to six high school reunions, 
none of which were from the school she went to.

She gets told "welcome back"
to places she's never been.

People often recognize her from the gym,
even though she doesn't belong to one.


When she's growing out her hair,
people tell her they like her new haircut.

Waitresses will bring her extra ranch,
even though she didn't ask for it.


She's been yelled at in sign language,
on more than one occasion.

She once dyed her hair pink,
and then accidentally walked into a Nicki Minaj concert.

She's considered a "regular"
at places she's never been.

For Halloween she went as herself,
nobody recognized her.

She doesn't often drink beer, but when she does,
it's always something you can't remember.

She is
the most indistinguishable girl in the world.


Happy Friday.


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25 comments:

  1. hahaha this is too funny. there's a show on TruTV called Impractical Jokers where they try to convince ppl that they know them from somewhere. it's pretty hysterical.

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  2. This is great hah if you can't beat them might as well join them!

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  3. Hahaha! This is actually kind of cool. You should see if you can trick anybody into giving you something for free.

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  4. So funny. I guess that makes me the most indistinguishable brunette in the world because I get this all the time. "Oh you look like someone I know." Um, do I say thank you? Maybe they're telling me I look like their fat, ugly coworker...

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  5. Love this! I think it's one of your best! :)

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  6. Hahah please run with this see what happens. I smell a very interesting blog series in the works.

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  7. I must admit this happens to me all the time. I think I just have that average look. What's freaky though is once i was sitting in a restaurant and a man approached me with a camera and knew i wasn't his friend but showed me a picture of my doppleganger! Freaky to look at a face that looks just like mine but wasn't me.

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  8. strange... i seem to get that a lot to! but I knew you were from NE but not Norfolk! I live in Howells (not too far away!) small world!

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  9. Hahahahah I LOVE this. That used to happen to me ALL the time.

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  10. I'm gonna need to hear the story behind that Cookie Monster and unicycle picture... *need*.

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  11. Hahaa - favorite one: For Halloween she went as herself,
    nobody recognized her.

    Classic.

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  12. Happened to me last week at Skyrobics class. This girl is talking to me and mid-sentence she says "OMG. Grace!" I look behind me then realize she is talking to me. "Are you Grace?!" She exclaims. "Um, no, I am Kara." "Oh, I thought you were someone from high school." End of conversation, she was embarrassed.

    But I thought it was awesome! She was like 22 years old and she totally thought we went to high school together! Um, sorry honey, I am not 22 but thanks for the compliment!!

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  13. This is too much-in a good way!! SO funny!

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  14. haha Taylor, you are too funny!! This post had me lauging out loud reading it!

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  15. You are hilarious! Loved the one about Halloween.

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  16. She blogs, and people feel at ease, laugh more, relate and are generally happier.
    :)
    xoxo

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  17. Ok, I love this. By far the funniest thing I've read all day :) Whenever someone thinks they know me, they show me the real picture of the girl, and she's always obese. I guess I just have one of those fat faces? haha

    I'm your newest follower!

    Brooke

    liningthecloudswithsilver.blogspot.com

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  18. I completely understand where you are coming from! I get this all the time too. I think I just have a common face. I can't tell you how many times I have been stopped (even by the elderly) and asked if I am so-and-so. I always just smile, and say that I am not from around here, but that person sure must be pretty. I do worry that one day someone will be pissed at whoever I look at and take it out on me.

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  19. Fantastic! You have quickly become my favorite!

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  20. loved this! especially "Waitresses will bring her extra ranch,
    even though she didn't ask for it."

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  21. HA! I was actually thinking that you look like someone I know when I stumbled upon this post.

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  22. Dude. I feel you on that. I get that all the time too! The strangest one was when one time a guy at a random bar came up to me, "Um, I don't mean to be weird or creepy, but you look exactly like my girlfriend." He showed me pictures on his phone. Yup, we were pretty much twinsies. But the best part was, as we were sitting there chatting about how weird it was, several of his friends came up and started talking to me as though I were the girlfriend and then after several seconds would get a really weird look on their face and just trail off. Highly amusing.

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  23. So, I just read this post as I hopped over from BackEastBlonde (hilarious by the way) and then realized, wait, don't I know this girl? And I had to ask myself if that was because of the nature of the post or if I REALLY knew you. Or better, knew of you. And then I saw the button for your book, "A Bottle for You, A Bottle for Me." My friend told me about her friend (YOU!) who wrote this book! And had a blog named The Daily Tay, which I didn't remember until I saw the book and it all came flooding back to me! I don't want to say her whole name on here but her name is Lauren, went to Nebraska, sorority girl, curly hair, moved to Texas to teach and that's where I met her. Anyways, CRAZY COINCIDENCE because of this post being about people knowing you and I strangely do know (of) you! Small world!

    Long story short, you've got a new reader :)

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  24. I know this post is like two years old but I'm a new reader and came across it in your "popular" section...this happens to me ALL THE TIME! To the point that my family and friends have given me the delightful nickname of "Commonface"...

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