Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Twas The Day After Christmas

For the past few days this is a little bit of what I've been up to.
So I think it's only natural that getting up today was quite difficult for me.
I also thought it was only natural when I felt inspired to write a satirical 
Twas the Day After Christmas poem.
My mom, however, found it to be "dark and depressing."
 See for yourself, I guess.

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
negative attitudes were looming, between every relative and spouse.
The stockings weren't hung by the chimney with care, they'd already been taken down,
because St. Nick couldn't fit through there.
The chimney was shattered beyond repair,
but good ol Saint Nick had already disappeared into thin air.
The children were nestled, all snug on their phones,
while visions on Instagram could be heard in their moans.
Looks like Johnny got a Macbook, Suzy did too,
no filter needed to see that I got screwed.
And ma in her stretch pants, and dad in his sweats, they both did sit,
as these were now the only pants, that either could fit.
We spent too much, I'm broke, I think I have diabetes,
 I'm going to the bar,
The bitching and moaning could be heard from afar,
Why God oh why, I don't want to go back,
to school, or work, or the exchange line at Nordstrom Rack.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
no one sprang to their feet, to see what's the matter.
I just sat down, you go check,
How 'bout instead let's just lay low, the house looks like a train wreck.
So the curtains were drew and the lights dimmed down,
we'll get back to reality next time around.
As I drifted off to sleep for the third time that day,
I mumbled happy day-after Christmas to all, the next is only 365 days away.

****
It's a joke! C'mon lighten up, mom.

Really though, is the 26th not a hard day for anyone else?
I just love Christmas so much and everything that goes along with it
I can't help but be a little sulky today.
The only thing keeping sharp objects out of my grasp is the fact that I have the Bahamas to look forward to.
We're actually flying out tomorrow, with a brief stop at Disney World on Friday.

But next week when we get back and I really have to get back to reality?
Watch out.
Shit's getting real.
In the meantime, I hope you all had as wonderful time celebrating these past few days as I have.
Jesus sure knows how to throw a great bday party.
Now I'm off to the gym!
Jk.
There's no point in working out the day before a vacation.
And besides, that would just totally counteract all the work I've done the past few days stretching my stomach to the point where I need high caloric food containing some sort of cheese or cream
every forty five minutes or I start to sweat.




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14 comments:

  1. The day after Christmas is the MOST depressing! The Bahamas! How fun! Does Harlow need a babysitter?!

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  2. why yes I do agree with this 100% i hate the day after christmas. and sulk i will.

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  3. Haha I love this! Exactly how I'm feeling today.

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  4. I seriously almost started crying last night because the festivities were winding down {or because I have PMS?} ... it's such a buzz kill after such a high. Yes, still talking about Christmas ...
    that pic of the dog in the chair, lookin at that kid like, "dude, WTH are you doing?" is awesomeee.
    :)

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  5. sorry....can't feel sorry for you when you're hitting up the Bahamas tomo. When you get back? I'll have more sympathy then!

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  6. I completely agree!! It also doesn't help that it's raining in San Diego today :(

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  7. I do believe your dog looks better in that fur scarf than I do....

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  8. Ok seriously...
    1. Love the rhyme
    2. What kind of dog is that again? Soooooo cute!!!!!
    3. I see great things for you in 2013!
    :)

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  9. I totally agree, I was kinda sad today too!
    Enjoy the Bahamas and Disney friend- Praying for safe travels for you :)

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  10. Hate the day after Christmas! Lucky Bahamas and Disney World! Have fun! :)

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  11. I probably am the only person ever to be slightly relieved Christmas is over but I still wish I wrote this poem. So hilarious and creative, I love it!

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  12. You are a trip and this is WHY I love you! haha!

    PS Harlow is too cute! I love that he's totally giving that child the stank eye!

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  13. Taylor, I live in Chicago too and love finding Chicago bloggers.. Do you know of any other good ones? besides yours!

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