Friday, January 18, 2013

The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever

What a week.
I don't know about you, but this one felt like it was never going to end.
Did I mention I went to court for the first time in my life today?
I'm still fighting that damn battery charge brought against me back on Black Friday.
I'm kidding.
I'd never shop on Black Friday.

Well the Chicago public court is nothing like Judge Judy.
And let me tell ya, there were a lot of interesting characters there.
It was an experience to say the least.
Perhaps I'll post about it, maybe not though.
Like my new friend LaVonne told me, what happens in Chicago court stays in Chicago court.
She was there today pleading a case from 1998!
Talk about patience.

But enough court talk.
Let's move onto
The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever
because we have a lot to cover.

Naturally, the first mention coming in strong at number one has got to be
Fake Girlfriends.

Man, what a week they're having. 
They haven't had this much action since the chat room explosion of 1996.  
I even heard it's being uncovered the alleged fake girlfriend, "Lennay Kekua" had online
 communication with several other college athletes while she was with Manti! 
What a lying hussy! 
For all we know she's halfway to Mexico right now with George Glass and Zanny the Nanny. 
I've got a feeling this is just the tip of the iceberg, wouldn't surprise me one bit if we
 find out that the Alabama girlfriend from last week is fake as well.

And then we've got my favorite sociopath
Lance Armstrong
coming in second. Not first, like he would have preferred.

It truly is a sad day for all of the neighborhood kid bike gangs out there.
And an even sadder day for all of the middle aged men who thought it was appropriate
to wear Livestrong bike unitards out in public.

Truthfully though, I think this entire "situation" can be summed up by a few Sheryl Crow song lyrics.
 It made him happy, so it can't be that bad.
 All he wanted to do was have a little fun, we gotta feeling, that he wasn't the only one. 
Every day is a winding road, everybody gets high, everybody gets low. 
These are the days when anything goes. 
And I saved the best for last, 
The first cut is the deepest.
But after that your veins get used to it.

It's not even the "doping" that gets me about this whole thing,
especially since it sounds like so much of the biker culture was using at the time.
It's more the fact at what a bully he's been about it.
Last night on Oprah, he just sounded like a real asshole. So boo him.
You're no longer my hero, Mr. Kimble.

It really has been a big week for athletes though, I'd say. Wouldn't you?

Because next on my list is none other than
Elin Nordegren.

Remember her slimy ex-husband, Tiger Woods? 
Well he wants her back. 
He's offered her a 200 million pre-nup with an additional 350 million "no cheating" clause. 
But the real cherry on the cake is that he has also asked Elin to take the voodoo hex off of him so he can someday win a tournament again. 
She said she'll take the hex back, when he takes the STDs back.
BOOM!!!! 
disclaimer: I do not truly believe Elin has any sexual transmitted diseases.
Tiger's mistresses all appear to be very clean and respectable women.
Especially the one on the bottom right corner.

I feel like that woman might be April's prettier younger sister. 
Wonder why Butch didn't go for her.


But there is only one person having the Best Week Ever.
And it's my girl Adele.

And it's not because she won the Golden Globe on Sunday,
but because she exposed Taylor Swift's stinkeye.


I know I could face backlash from the Swifty fans for saying this,
but I've always had this feeling she is the ultimate mean girl.
She likes to play sweet and innocent,
but I'm convinced she's 100% cray.
Cray cray.
What other girl would move through guys like she does and then
immediately punish them after by killing their pet rabbit writing humiliating songs about them
for the public to hear without any bit of discretion?
I think she should hook up with Manti.
He's single and ready to mingle. I'm sure they could talk for hours about their past relationships.


And there you go, this has been another edition of
The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever.

Have a great weekend.
Keep on Livingstrong.



Follow along as I take photos of Harlow on Instagram @taylorgracewolfe
Photobucket

39 comments:

  1. I have been waiting for this post all day because with all the crazy shit this week I knew it would be a doozy..well done! Happy weekend :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahahaha this just made me laugh so hard. Made my day!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is exactly why I love Fridays! Love you Taylor!

    ReplyDelete
  4. hysterical as always. I couldn't get over just how cold Lance Armstrong sounded on Oprah, but I have to be honest, I like the real "I'm a bad guy I doped and shit" Lance better than, "I'm a hero!" Lance. That guy int he interview seemed like the real deal.

    Taylor Swift is the queen of the mean girls. You are onto something....

    ReplyDelete
  5. I just DIED! I swear this is the best one yet.

    And OMG can't handle TSwift - I totally agree that inside, she's actually a bitch. In a major way.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Totes agree about TSwift, you're totally right! She is definitely a mean girl and possibly a little slutty too!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've always felt this way about T-Swift. She reminds me of the cool girls in middle school that allowed me to sit at their lunch table as long as I was on the opposite end from them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Haha oh and what a week it has been... :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have been saying for quite some time that Tay is bat shit crazy. I am glad some one else is finally speaking out about it. I would also like to call shenanigans on all of her songs about no boys liking her in high school. I think she's living a lie. There's no way she could look like that and never get a date. She was never sitting on the bleachers.
    Tara
    Penniless Socialite
    Massive Group Giveaway!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love me some Tay but c'mon its undeniable she's totes cray

    ReplyDelete
  11. Finally!!! Someone else that is Anti-Taylor. Bet you any amount of money, at some point ONE of these guys is going to come forward with some scary dominatrix sex tape of her.

    ReplyDelete
  12. OMG the Teo'ing...he got Catfished!! Right? And that is news to me about Woods and his wife...that's a big offer to say no to....hmmm

    ReplyDelete
  13. Somewhere Nev is writing Te'o a thank you note for all the increased views this week. (MTV actually has a Catfish marathon on right now!)

    ReplyDelete
  14. LOL you hit it out of the park with this one again Taylor, thank you for the laugh I definitely needed today. And throwing in a picture of April, just pure genius. Because if anyone is having a good life, it's her. Thanks for the laughs!

    ReplyDelete
  15. T Swift. The best stinkeye in a long time. But I wonder if its because she didn't think to trademark her name before Adele did.

    Deidre || Love, The Skinnys
    PS. Dont forget to come enter my giveaway!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I had to go to court last Fall and it was...something else. Super fun chatting with all the delinquents and being asked, 'so what are you here for." And Lance Armstrong! I get the fact that he doped, whatever. BUT, he completely destroyed everyone around him and lied hardcore to the world. CRAZY!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Freaking T. Swift. I just want one song out of her that isn't about some boy. Thats it!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I could not agree more about Taylor Swift. ugh...

    ReplyDelete
  19. HAHAHA YES, Taylor Swift is probably the biggest bish in all the Kingdoms! How dare she glare at Adele, she is a Saint!

    ReplyDelete
  20. You are seriously so hilarious! George glass....

    ReplyDelete
  21. one of my favorite best weeks ever...ever. i am disappointed that Lance is such a jerk and agreed that Taylor is a mean girl. Adele can sing her ass out any day.

    ReplyDelete
  22. after your post yesterday, I've been especially looking forward to this one ;) Lance Armstrong is a douchebag, and let's be honest, so is Taylor Swift.

    ReplyDelete
  23. love it! I totally agree with you on Taylor Swift. There is something that bugs me about her. I think she gained a lot of fans with the whole Kanye thing. I think their manager set it up since they have the same one. It just smells fishy to me. I love that Michael J Fox said his son isn't allowed to date her. She is getting quite a bad rap. She needs to be careful.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Girlie, what did you do to end up in court? Bless your heart!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I 100% agree with you on Tswift and everytime I blog about her I lose at least 2 followers... I can't believe I missed this stink eye..what skank!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I love Taylor but I totally agree with you! I mean look at alllllll the guys she's been with...that's not very innocent. I had no idea about that tiger woods thing! How crazy! I hope she sticks her guns and never goes back to him!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Manti and Taylor? Now wouldn't that be Best Week Ever perfection!

    ReplyDelete
  28. This has got to be one of the Best Week Ever....ever!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Your posts crack me up. Every time.

    And I had no idea that Tiger wants her back. Whaaa?!

    Rachel
    http://www.postcardsfromrachel.com

    ReplyDelete
  30. O T Swizzle 100% captain of the crazy train... has been since day 1!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Found your blog through Living in Yellow! I'm already hooked just after this one post. Your comments about Taylor Swift is probably one of the best things I've ever read. I feel the same way about her!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I agree with most everyone Taylor Swift is getting kind of a ho reputation. I love the pic of her mean face ha! Fantastic.

    ReplyDelete
  33. One of my fav Best Weeks Ever! This one had me laughing out loud a few times and then I sent it to several of my coworkers :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Very cute blog! I am stopping by from Messy Dirty Hair! The Tiger Woods things was hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I absolutely LOVE this post. I read your blog on a regular basis but I am making an extra stop because of Dirty Messy Hair, love you!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

    ReplyDelete
  36. you are seriously hilarious! Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Messy Dirty Hair sent me. I totally agree with you about Taylor Swift!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hey! Just wanted to let you know I am your newest follower and Messy Dirty Hair sent me! :)

    Amber
    Mylifeunmasked.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  39. haha love this. totally agree about taylor swift mean girl status. she definitely had me fooled for the past few years though!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...