10 Reasons Why High School Was Weird

Thursday, April 18, 2013

I've been staring at my computer screen for literally thirty minutes now.
When it comes to blogging, I rarely get writers block.
But I think I have it right now because I know I should be writing that other little thing I've mentioned 
on here a time or two, that "book" I'm trying to do.
Just the thought of it gives me anxiety and makes me want to throw my Mac against the wall.
Dumb, I know.
Back in the day, I used to sit in study hall and write for pages and pages about completely made up 
characters just because it was fun and it helped the time to pass.
Why can't I do that now...
I never thought I'd say this, but I need to get back to high school- Tay.
So to get in the mood, let's rehash why high school was so damn weird. 
At least for me. 


1. Because I wore cut off t-shirts and boxer shorts out in public.
This is not okay. I am not a construction worker, nor a five year old little boy.
Why wasn't I as trendy as my Abercrombie and board short clad sister?
*Let's all take a moment to remember the fun that was Old Navy board short commercials.

2. Because I used to marker pimp myself.
Am I the only little weirdo who used to enjoy drawing all over myself?
Sharpie, pen, highlighter, it didn't matter. My arm was a canvas, man. Draw away.

3.  Because I used to listen to hardcore rap. And relate to it.
Jk, I didn't relate to it, or maybe I thought I did.
But I loved me some Dr. Dre, Eminem, and Snoop.
Y'all know me, still the same O.G., but I been low key...
My parents said they didn't like me listening to it because the "lyrics were bad,"
but I bet it had more to do with the fact they were just embarrassed for me.
But I didn't choose thug life, thug life chose me. - every kid in Norfolk, Nebraska.

4. Because I thought my senior pics were the most important day EVER!!!
I've never cared about something more, and I think it scarred me for life.
I now dread photos more than anything. When I get married some day, I pity the fool who tries
to demand we take more than ten shots.

And this outfit? Despicable.
Um, low-rider much?
My mother should have made me pull up my jeans, and pull down my shirt.
*sidenote: I still have, and wear these jeans, only with much longer shirts.

5. Because my friends and I used to "fake drink."
Or at least two of us did...
We wanted to hang out with the cool kids but we were always way too scared of getting caught and kicked out of sports, so we'd fake drink our beers in the corner.
Ignore the creepy expression, let's focus on those guns of mine.

And yet if the cops did come, we'd still be scared out of our mind there would somehow magically be alcohol on our breath from the one sip we might have taken,
so we'd start sucking on dirty pennies. We heard pennies made it so alcohol wouldn't register on a breathalyzer.
Looking back, I have a feeling some old homeless drunk made that one up just for shits and giggles.

6. Speaking of homeless drunks, remember how some teenagers used to find just anyone on the street
to buy them alcohol?
That is absolutely terrifying to me now.
Obviously I never did it (because of the fake drinking and all) but I know it happened.


7. Because I tanned EVERY DAY.
Look how cherry red my face is in this photo.
When it wasn't red, it would fade into a beautiful orange color.
And today, I have the beautiful sun spots to prove it.
I'll never forget the day some bully wrote "orange face" on my locker poster.
So thank you secret mean angel, whoever you are.
I think that's what it finally took for me to ease off the sauce.
And by sauce I mean tanning beds.

8. Because being absolutely horrible to one another was completely normal.
I remember one time I got "called out" for wearing a Led Zepplin shirt because the kid
said I was a "poser." Which perhaps was true, but he didn't have to be a dick and say I wasn't cool enough to be a Zepplin fan.
But band shirts from Hot Topic were soooo cool!
Pretty sure I went home and grabbed all of my dad's Zeppling CDs just to make sure such an incident would never happen again.
And that right there is what is wrong with high school, everybody cares just a little too much.

9. Because I wore this "shirt" graduation night.

And those earrings.
Never did I wear "dangly earrings" ever again.
And I broke that fancy camera one of the first weekends of college. Still pisses me off.

10. Because before I turned sixteen, I never realized how incredibly awesome it was to be driven everywhere.
I'd go back to this in a heartbeat if I could.
I'd even let my mom be late, and forget to pick me up as she often did.
(Sorry mom but you and I both know it's true, I forgive you though because it made me stronger.)

And now I need to jet. I've got my first "professional" acting audition tonight at Second City.
It's so professional in fact I'm printing off  .89 cent head shots at Walgreens I took myself.
To be honest I'm just going for fun,
(is what people say when they're insecure about not getting the part)
really though, I don't even know what it's for. I'm just going because I get jollies off of auditions.

Many dreams come true and some have silver linings.
 I live for my dreams and a pocket full of gold.- Led Zepplin.

I have no idea what this means, which proves I am indeed a poser.


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24 comments:

  1. Oh low rider jeans. How did we ever wear those with the type of tops that were popular in high school? Good luck with the audition!!! It's crazy outside so be sure wear boots :)

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  2. Good luck on your audition. If there are any girls there wearing prom dresses, please snap a quickie pic for me. (Or maybe that's just at opera auditions?)

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  3. so i wasn't the only teen girl that would buy old navy boxer shorts and wear them in public?! perfect!

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  4. Good GOD I love you! The senior pics..I DIE! MOst important day EVERRR!!! I swear my mom STILL has mine displayed in her living room. #gag And the tanning. Oh the tanning...

    PS-you were the tiniest little thing in the world! Still are!

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  5. haha omg all of these photos are so awesome. i love looking back at highschool and wondering why? i fake drank too. i was so scared. now i real drink and it's a problem.

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  6. Your low rise pants remind me of something that my friends and I used to jokingly say to each other, "Maybe we should have a party so that your pants and shirt can meet!" Oh high school...who knew back then that it was our simplest, most carefree of times?!

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  7. Good luck! I like to think of you as a young Amy Poehler and that makes me incredibly happy.

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  8. oh my gosh this post is awesome! So totally true, tanning, belly showing shirts, senior pictures, hard core rap? oh high school memories! love them!

    xxS

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  9. I can't say I miss high school much, ha ha! I was too much of a trouble maker, and keeping up that reputation was such a hassle and so much work. It's so much easier to fly under the radar. I still have low-rise jeans like that.. but I wear long shirts with them ha ha!
    Love this post :D

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  10. haha this is hilarious! I'm one of the weird people who actually enjoyed high school, but I definitely didn't know how to dress or do my own hair. Woof.

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  11. hahaha! I may or not still wear cut offs! Hey, I live in good 'ole hicktown Howells! cutt offs are sometimes a delicacy!

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  12. The stranger-buying-alcohol scenario is so funny! We used to call it pulling a "hey mr." because you would literally just walk up to a rando and ask him to do you a solid. Good idea, high school Liz, clearly nothing could go wrong with that scenario!

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  13. This post was hilarious, totally made my day. I perhaps might have owned that gold sequin shirt as well, I suddenly have a desire to locate pictures of me in that shirt...I know they exist somewhere.

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  14. OK, THANK YOU for admitting to the boxer shorts. I wore boxer shorts too and I have no idea what the draw of that was? I would wear them as shorts and I distinctly remember in 5th grade we (as in the girls in the class) would wear them under our jeans?? Like bulky stupid boy boxers under our tight overly flared bottom jeans. What was that? How did that "trend" happen? Thank God that's over.

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    1. Oh my gosh, I remember that was the thing to do in my fifth grade class, too! I don't remember wearing my boxer shorts in public, but after that phase of wearing them under our pants passed, I started wearing them as sleep shorts FOR YEARS.

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  15. HAHA the random stranger buying alcohol. We had some "old guy" (age 25) that would buy it for us....that doesn't seem so "old" now.

    Mendy
    1 Crazy Daisy and 3 Pokey Joes

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  16. Wait... aren't band shirts from Hot Topic still so cool? No? :)

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  17. Good luck! Rooting for you!

    That one pic almost showed your whole ladyparts! LOL

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  18. Hahaha. Oh boy. It was pretty amazing to be driven around everywhere. I forgot about that. Break a leg at your audition! Let us know what it ended up being for!

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  19. Yep, definitely had the stranger on the street buy alcohol for us! Good luck tonight!!

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  20. Ha! Your first few pics reminded me- a girl I know found the Delia's catalog from 2001. She scanned the WHOLE thing and put it on facebook for us all to wildly laugh at ourselves. You must find one and take a look!

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  21. I don't know why this just now occurred to me, but you totally remind me of the actress/comedian that plays Deandra on Always Sunny in Philadelphia. You are both freaking hilarious!!

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  22. TOTALLY agree on pretty much all of these. I was TERRIBLE for wearing really low cut jeans and trousers. SO embarrassed now. But the driving thing? Now, being driving somewhere is SUCH a treat. Driving is SO overrated!! xx

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