Harlow Is A Toddler

Tuesday, July 23, 2013



Today's post is brought to you by Harlow, because while I love this dog very very much, sometimes he drives me absolutely crazy. I'll admit, there are perks to having a dog in a city, like the fact he goes almost everywhere with me because most stores are incredibly dog friendly, some bars as well. But having a dog in the city is also a lot of work. Because we have no yard, or grass in sight. And so I take him on roughly nineteen walks a day. At least. Three of which must be off leash. One of which must be at the beach. God, he's a diva. I feel pathetic just admitting that, and also a little relieved. My name is Taylor, and my dog runs my life. There I said it. 

He's glaring at me because I wouldn't take him into Target. He was livid. You would have thought I was leaving him in Alcatraz.

I only have time to write this out at the moment because he's napping, so this is my window to get stuff done. Thus I bring to you, why having a dog is just like having a toddler. But what I really mean is why having a Harlow is just like having a toddler. Because I realize not all dogs are as needy or demanding as mine. I just got lucky. 



1. When he naps I run around the house trying to get as much done as possible. I blog, I write, I send work emails, I make work phone calls, I get so much done in this window of time it's amazing. It's as if I'm in microwave mode- you know the mode when you have thirty-forty five seconds to get as much done in the kitchen as possible until your food is ready. If I approached everyday in microwave mode I think I could take over the world.

At this point I'm actually working on the floor because he kicked me out of my chair.

2. When he's awake, I'll do almost anything to appease him. And by this I mean more times than not you can find me working on my computer, sitting on a stool at a hightop table, with Harlow on my lap. Harlow weighs about sixty five pounds.

This is his whine face. 

3. Because he whines. all. the. time. But only in front of me. Never in front of guests or friends, he only pulls this crap on me. And I don't get it. He's like a demanding little two year old, but only with the person he should be the best behaved in front of, me obviously. One minute he's jumping and begging to play with his rope and no less than two minutes later he is sound asleep. His mood swings are so impressive to me I sometimes wonder if he's bipolar.


If you're reading this and shaking your head thinking I'm a complete pushover you're wrong, I'll hold my ground with anyone. Anyone except Harlow. It's just so damn hard to get work done with a dog constantly whining at your side to go play.



4. But he's always on his best behavior when "dad" comes home. Chris will walk in the door and Harlow will greet him with a smile on his face and wagging tail and then proceed to just relax on the couch the rest of the night. Then Chris will usually remark something like, "you know Harlow's gotten a lot more chill lately." And I want to scream. He's chill because I've been wearing him out for the past seven hours. 

Don't ever beat him in tennis. He freaks out.

5. He does things to embarrass me in public. He loves to steal other dogs' toys at the dog park and then run from me as the other owners look on at the poor girl chasing her out-of-control-dog. It's seriously his favorite game. I feel like people give me the "crying child on an airplane look." His other favorite thing is to go #2 in the worst possible places, like crosswalks at a busy intersection, or on a huge rock where children often play. Or on a bike. He does it anywhere.

And it's always good to wrap up a post on #2 talk. 

But seriously, Har's my bestie. I don't know what I'd do without that bossy guy in my life. Probably a lot more work I assume.


I like this photo because I think Harlow looks like an Avatar. Or maybe just Chris Bosh. You decide.



Photobucket

38 comments:

  1. dying. my mochi is such a toddler sometimes. he loves to play this game at the dog park where he takes his ball and throws it in the water bowl. then splashes around in it to get it out. Does he do this at home? never.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gosh, I feel better knowing that i'm not the only one who's life is completely controlled by a dog. Except mine is a 4 lb. yorkie who demands your every second! they're just too damn cute to ignore!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're right Harlow is like a toddler, MY toddler tries to sit on my lap and wants to play all day while I'm trying to work. Not only that she whines when she can't!

    Also this whole number two issue he has, before she was trained we had quiet a few number two adventures in my house some of them truly disgusting.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My vote is Chris Bosh. Dead ringer. Only Harlow's cuter. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is Hugo exactly. In love him, I do. But he is my child and a picky one at that. We took him into academy sports the other day hoping he would behave in public, even though I just talked to him about it. But he didn't listen.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha I love it! I distinctly remember telling my husband when we just had our dog that I can't wait to have kids because at least I won't have to worry about them shitting on the floor because they'll be in a diaper! I swear my dog does it just to spite me sometimes. But then again he's the only one who wags his tail and comes running to me when I come home! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. The things we do for our dogs. I have two 80 lb toddlers- Marley and Ace. Ace is the rotten one. I've definitely given up most of my bed for that dog before. He even has his own pillow and he sleeps on it just like a human.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Harlow is so cute, and that makes everything okay :) I have to 80 pound dogs that require constant attention. If one of them isn't in my lap the other is. But, at least they are good at keeping each other entertained!

    ReplyDelete
  9. The biggest dogs always seem to be lap dogs. Never understanding the concepts that they are heavy weights. I am fortunate to have a yard for my furbabies, but they pretty much all sound like Harlow.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've seriously had nearly one of every breed of dog (I rescued).. my favorite was my Great Dane.. she thought she was human. From sitting in chairs like she was in on our conversations, eating an entire container of Tums when I was first pregnant, and getting us at the window with half of a green bean can stuck to her mouth when we got home (she apparently though we needed to eat more veggies). Love this.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Harlow is the MAN. I love all of his antics :) Maddie used to do things that really pissed me off...like getting into the UPS man's truck and me having to go in and get her because he was terrified of a 90 pound dog. Crazy animals! But what would we do without them!?

    ReplyDelete
  12. You are soo right, I was always doing homework/studying/working with Piper in my lap. Given, she's a 6 lb Chihuahua but it wasn't always comfy. Thankfully, we don't live in the city so I don't have to take her on walks just toss her in the back yard for a few minytes. He's absolutely precious though.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I have decided that I do not have my dogs trained, but that they have me trained. All they have to do is give me a look or some kind of stance and I know and do exactly what they want. It's kind of pathetic, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I love Harlow's expressions!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. He is so cute! And my parents dog whines all the time too! When I go home to visit, she whines for the first 10 minutes I am home and just crawls all over me. She is about Harlow's size! It is heinous!

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is so awesome and so true! Dogs are the toddler-equivalent. You have an amazing collection of Harlow pictures... you could totally have a toddler book entailing documentation of Harlow's antics :)!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Probably the best post ever! Totally sums up my life and we have a freaking fenced in yard! But the yard is only fun if I'm out there to watch them play. And look at that face...you should have just brought him into Target!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. My puppy is more destructive than my two kids combined, and I agree the whining seriously.. I'm right there along with ya my friend... and it's true they are like toddlers I've survived two of those

    ReplyDelete
  18. He is just SO. SQUISHY!!!

    But I so agree on the dog = toddler thing. Good lord, Holly is one needy biatch and most days I thank high heavens I don't work from home. The days I do she just weaves in and out under my desk and is all "But mom, but mom, but mommmmmmm.... HI."

    ReplyDelete
  19. Those faces crack me up! I know.. my dogs acts like this for me too!

    ReplyDelete
  20. oh god he sounds just like my dog. especially being embarrassing in public. fred is pretty good most of the time and then we get to the dog park and he is a total jerk and i feel like a lunatic with no control over my giant animal. he ruined another dog's frisbee once and i was mortified. harlow is super handsome though I would give into him too!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Haha I love this! He is just so damn cute how could you not let him run the show?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Mine is Parker - a 3 year old chihuahua, that's toddler in people years which is how I justify treating her like one.
    Talk about embarrassing - when I take her to the park she refuses to associate with other dogs. She's off smelling & pretend peeing in the bushes the whole time. I feel like the parent of the kid who just sits in the corner eating glue.
    & needy- wow. I'm not sure I should even admit this but she likes to sit on your lap when you pee.
    (Um, Your/You as in My/I. That was my attempt to share some of the shame until I realized that insinuating I allow my dog to sit on guest's laps in the bathroom is extra weird.) I don't know how it got to this point. Last year it was posting pics of us celebrating her 3rd birthday, complete with new dress, wrapped presents & dog cupcake. All downhill from there- I can't even judge you, I'm beyond crazy dog mom status. :/

    Little Bird Blogs

    ReplyDelete
  23. Bo and Harlow are twinsies. I purposely schedule my errands outside the house to maximize phone and email time. 'Wellll if I drive to the post office then the grocery store, I can use that time to make that phone call...'

    ReplyDelete
  24. Harlow needs to meet my dog, Charlee. They would be instant friends. Charlee acts the same way. Everytime I go somewhere he comes along and now that it's gotten so hot since it's summer he can't go as many places so I have to take him to a friend's house when I'm out. Literally, my life revolves around my dog. My boyfriend and I took him to Blue Moon Pizza last night to eat and sit on the patio. Charlee jumped into a chair and it was a sight. Sometimes I'm not sure he realizes he's a dog!

    You're a great dog owner though and I went to our city animal control looking with a friend for her cat that was lost and it made my heart ache for all the animals in there who were so scared. Harlow is lucky to have you! That helped me put it into perspective.

    ReplyDelete
  25. this is one of your cutest Harlow posts to date!! i haven't stalked around your blog enough - do you have any posts about him as a puppy?? :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. My dog can be a bit of a diva too, but only with me. If I am the only one home, he cries and whines and barks at every little thing, but when my husband comes home he is a perfect little angel for him... So frustrating at times haha

    ReplyDelete
  27. I absolutely LOVE this post! Tucker, my 70 lb retriever, is a lot like Harlow. His favorite place to sit is on my lap. His "dad" (my boyfriend) will sometimes pretend like he's going to get me so that Tucker will protect me....but Tucker's way of protecting me is to sit his fat ol booty on me. I'm surprised I haven't gotten a punctured lung or broken rib from him. That would be an awkward ER trip...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Harlow is just too handsome. I would love a dog! Well, I have a dog but he lives on a farm with my parents. Birds to chase, fresh air, grass to roll in - good life for an old man. I live in the city so we only have a cat. Cats just don't cuddle like a dog does. I am trying to convince hubby that we need a Harlow!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Awww what a cute dog!! I love it that he basically has a completely human personality.. lol. So adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  30. a million percent agree. beau [my horribly spoiled shar pei] runs my and my hub's life. [sigh]. but i probably wouldn't have it any other way.

    harlow's beyond cute.

    -natalie-
    www.thesecondbestblog.com

    ReplyDelete
  31. My dog is the same way-such a little whiner. I like to tell myself it's because she's so smart, she's morphing into a human-dog hybrid. Then, you know, it's something to be proud of-I've raised such a little genius. And I totally feel you on the #2s in embarrassing places-this past weekend Lucy did a #2 in the middle of a sandbar party, in about a foot of water. My husband chased after floating away bits with a plastic bag pretending he could actually remedy the situation, but the damage was done.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Ummmm...my dog poops anywhere she wants. In the middle of the road, sidewalk, driveway......pretty much anywhere as long as someone is about to walk by and give me a nasty look.....

    ReplyDelete
  33. I love this! My basset embarrasses the hell out of me when she gets close to people she like half ass gets close to them then runs away, then back then away (shes so skiddish) but tail wagging the whole time and Im just running after her with my arms out. Once a man actually said, never thought id see a basset out run a person. Its always so awkward.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Well he is a fine looking dog, quite handsome in fact just don't tell him it may give him a big head..........lol

    ReplyDelete
  35. I must meet Harlow. And Harlow must meet my 65 lb whining, demanding, pushy toddler Duke.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Well this actually sounds a lot like our life with Floyd. He is TERRIBLE for me but a saint for my husband. He only chews up my things. He will get in trouble and go lay with my husband so sweetly and look at me like, 'what mama? I'm just here being a good boy.' UH dogs!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Yes and yes!! Seamus runs my life and tells me what to do all the time! I don't go for after work drinks anymore so he can be walked. I run home on weekend trips so I don't leave him home too long. I find a babysitter for him whenever I take a trip he can't come on! He is my baby though and brings the most joy EVER!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Mine is Cooper a 2.5 year old weim, and he only does it to me too! Not my mom or my dad or my sister, just me.

    He has got to be the neediest dog ever, and heaven forbid I'm on the computer being productive and he sees, he'll push my hand off of my keyboard until I pet his head and rub his belly!

    ReplyDelete