Hey So & So!

Friday, August 2, 2013

What day is it again today? Oh yea, Friday. My mind's been in a bit of a cluster since I left for Dallas Wednesday morning around 5:00 a.m., after doing a wee bit of celebrating Tuesday night I might add... Then I got my sales jollies going from Wednesday-Thursday until I flew back to Chicago around 2:00 p.m. Only to land in Chicago at 7:00 p.m. at which point I grabbed my two besties (Har and Chris) and we jumped in the car at 9:00 p.m. for a seven hour drive to Nebraska. As it turns out, I'm not so good at the late night driving, or maybe someone just slipped me some shrooms into my three Dt. Mt Dews, I'm still not sure. But right around 12 a.m. my eyes started playing some crazy tricks on me, it's still up for debate whether or not I saw three baby cougars just outside of Des Moines. Chris thinks they were foxes, I think they were cougars. They could have also been three small elves. 

So as I'm sitting here in this lovely Scooters (a coffee shop that is not Starbucks) waiting to jump on a sales call, I'm not exactly having the best day ever. Thus I'm not quite in the mood to write another edition of The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever. However I just can't end the week without recapping it in someway so instead let's play my favorite game, "Hey So & So , ______ called." 
(You'll catch on, I promise.)

Hey Riley Cooper! Paula Deen called. She said thanks for taking her white supremacist hat for the week. She said you can keep it for awhile, just make sure you don't wash it, she'd hate for the old scent of stale tobacco and ignorance to come out of it.

I'm obviously talking about Philadelphia Eagle's receiver Riley Cooper's disgusting and bizarre racist rant at the Kenny Chesney concert earlier this week. All recorded on camera, I might add. 
(image from the video below.)


In the words of Jeff Foxworthy, if you have a handlebar mustache, wear a cut-off flannel shirt, and a rock a pony tail...you might be redneck racist. Am I stereotyping here? Absolutely, but after Cooper's rant I don't really care.

Speaking of...
Hey Jeff Foxworthy! Bad Comedy called, they want you back! Just kidding, we all know no one calls you anymore. Well maybe a few fifth graders, but that's it.

Hey Lindsay Lohan! Parent Trap 2 called, now that you just made it out of rehab this week (for the 78th time) they're ready to roll out another. The plot line will follow you and your twin as you "jokingly" try to destroy each-other's lives by getting into silly hijinks like doing hard drugs, stealing expensive jewelry, and starting fires in driveways. 


Hey Simon Cowell, your best friend called, he'd like his wife back. You know, that wife that you recently impregnated. 


Hey Ariel Castro, Satan called, he's got your room nice and ready for you. Your bunk-mate goes by the name of Sandusky. Hope you enjoy "horsing around."


Hey Kim Kardashian, Obama called, he recently criticized your family for creating a generation of youngsters obsessed with "wealth and celebrity."
Hey Obama, I'm calling, so remind me why you invited them to your house for dinner then in 2012? 

Kim and Kris at the White House dinner.

Hey Taylor, the weekend called, it says it's time to have some fun with old college pals/celebrate Chris's birthday. Things are about to get wild. I've got my wedding pants on.


And on that note, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! 

Follow along on Instagram @taylorgracewolfe if you'd like to watch things get weird.

Photobucket

30 comments:

  1. All this Riley Cooper & Paula Deen business is outta control!

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  2. I can always count on you to make me laugh even when you're not having the best day ever. Enjoy your weekend home!

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  3. I love this weekly recap. And I am glad that you called out Obama! Because I noticed that too when I heard the story.

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  4. Des Moines definately has cougars here! But we typically see them lurking at dirty bars preying on the young college boys. I'm sure a few of them might have also moved their game to I-80 and waved to you as you went by.

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  5. because the thought of Jeff Foxworthy talking to little 5 year olds doesn't scream danger, danger!

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  6. Loved this! Yeah for calling out Obama, such a hypocrite. I hope Castro drops the soap in jail. Have fun this weekend!!

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  7. The Hey Obama one is my favorite by far..ahh sweet hypocrisy.

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  8. I love the Obama one, so funny! He is one to talk, he is totally obsessed with "wealth and celebrity", uh who's friends with Jay-z and B? Duh.

    Also, Sandusky! Ha ha!

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  9. Bahaha I liked this better than the Daily Tays although I do always look forward to the Daily Tays. Love the Obama one. Also love how two of them include PA people... where I live. Go PA!

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. I once saw a baby elephant on the side of the highway on a late night drive to the beach. It's also important to note I'm no longer allowed to drive on road trips with my friends if it's night time anymore.

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  12. if it weren't for you, i wouldn't know even a bit of entertainment gossip. i love these friday posts, taylor. seriously love them.

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  13. I love your Friday posts.. Poor Paula Deen. Just because she "messed up" and she's been dropped by her sponsors or what not, she's still gonna remain famous and her food covered in butter will be popular!

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  14. Taylor, you were a theta?! no way no waaay! I would have never seen that one coming!
    I wonder what other bloggers were in sororities?!

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  15. That Simon Cowell thing is so weird...I mean his best friends WIFE? Yikes! Happy weekend to you:)

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  16. Is it really bad that I completely forgot LiLo was in rehab? Really explains SO MUCH about the past few months. Have fun celebrating!

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  17. Oh my gosh I completely forgot lilo even existed! I hope she's getting better in Rehab!


    xxx,

    Danielle Faith
    My Beauty Empowers Me!

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  18. I just moved back to America and your post is a shining light in my jet lag brain fog. Loved it!

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  19. Love the Obama and Kardashians one!
    And that parent trap pic is of Amanda Bynes, not Lindsay Lohan! I guess they're all in the same boat as of the past few years though, hey!
    As for the elves comment - hilarious! xx

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  20. This has nothing to do with your post...but you need to see this because this guy is totally stealing moves from your all time favourite gal...prancercise.

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10150732909504865

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  21. WHOOAAAW!!! Hectic! haha But funny!
    http://johced-ourjourneytoeverywhere.blogspot.com/
    xxx

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  22. Nice little laugh for my Monday. Hope you had a good weekend

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  23. Ugh I can SO relate! We drove 10 straights hours to NC, starting at 9pm... I think I hallucinated for half of my shift.

    And love old college pics... take me back...

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