Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Winning The Game of Comparison



The uncertainty in my life is at an all time high right now. Almost every single day I wake up and am not quite sure where my day/life is going. Albeit I wake up happy and mostly excited, just uncertain as hell is all. (Let's here it for "albeit" by the way.) I'm certain I know where I want to go, I just question every single move I'm taking on the way there.... That's the thing. That's the thing that always seems to get me.

Maybe this is just life and everybody feels this way and I'm simply kidding myself thinking that someday I'll actually have my shit together or have it all figured out. I have no idea because I'm only living my life. I just think that now, more so than ever, it's so easy to feel like a big old failure by allowing yourself to get lost in this terrible world of comparison we seem to live in these days. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Vine, Pinterest. You know the game. Jenny Instagram gets five points today because she just bought an incredible house. And she's younger than me? Screw her. Move back five spaces me. Johnny Facebook just landed an audition spot I didn't even know about... Move back ten spaces me. Patty Pinterest just made a DIY Range Rover out of oatmeal and old pine cones? What the hell? I can't even make a wine bottle covered in glitter. And it just goes on and on.



I guess what I'm getting at here is the confusion I feel about my own path is hard enough, let alone without the pressure of comparing it to everyone else's. But even as I type this I realize how silly that sounds because it's not like anyone is forcing me to be on social media. I choose to follow some of the people I do because I enjoy looking at the pretty little photos of their pretty little lives. So I enjoy it but it also makes me feel bad about my own life sometimes? That makes zero sense, and I actually didn't even think of it that way until I just wrote it out. And I think I just solved the problem of our generation. We're just a bunch of sadists who like inflecting pain onto ourselves... I just got into a bigger topic than I intended.

All in all, I think the winner of the game of comparison will always go to the person with the right perspective. Because that's really what it's all about. Jenny has a bigger house than me, but guess what? I live in an apartment where I don't have to move my vacuum cord from one outlet to the next when cleaning, I can cover the entire house from the same outlet. Looks like I won that round. And I won't even mention the fact I can reach my dryer from the shower. I think you know what that means. This Princess gets warm towels every morning to dry off with... #blessed.

I don't think I'm done with this topic yet, let's just call this part one for now.

Happy Wednesday, today is what you make it.


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39 comments:

  1. totally agree, it's really really hard not to compare. I especially do this with people's jobs or what they "don't" do. but you're right we just have to look at it from the right perspective. It's just hard to muster that perspective all the time.

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  2. I feel like I've been in the midst of a quarter life crisis since I turned 22. Four years and three jobs later and I still feel like I don't have my shit together--we even just bought a house and I still feel like a mess. Here's to hoping I'll have at least a career figured out by the time I'm 30.

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    1. I am so glad that I am not the only one suffering from a term I thought I made up. The quarter life crisis is real I tell you!!!

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  3. I always try to remind myself that it's all in the way people phrase it as well. Someone could say "I have an amazing job at a local nonprofit, while also attending graduate school for my masters in nonprofit management." What I end up saying: "I have a shitty job I don't particularly care for at a daycare, which yes technically is a nonprofit. I'm going to grad school, but it's the only grad school I applied to because I was too busy at the time dealing with my psycho boyfriend who was faking depression instead of just admitting he was cheating on me...so I'm not even sure if it's really the best program for me. It was my only choice."

    See what I mean? (Sorry for the speal). It's all the way they say it. Wrap it pretty with bows, or keep it interesting with honesty.

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  4. I absolutely love this post! It's always so hard to get ourselves stuck in that rut of comparing and even though we stop from time to time, it always comes back and drags us in. I think it's easier to compare when you are feeling underwhelmed and not busy, etc. The list goes on, but just remember, you're exactly where you need to be right now. What's meant to be will always find its way! :)

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  5. Also, guess what? That brand new house doesn't want to make her have sex with her husband any more than she did yesterday. So there. That romance is dead and gone, no matter what that Valencia filter may say.

    Sorry that I just went ape shit in your comment section. I'm just really good at venting about comparing lives.

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  6. I totally understand where you are coming from. We bought a house a year ago and it's perfect for us and I love it, but then I see all these other people with bigger houses and I think oh yeah, I need that...when I don't. I'm trying to be better about this, but it's hard!

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  7. preach it. comparison is the thief of joy! also, great use of albeit, I thought that as soon as I read it.

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  8. I most def know how you feel! I had to remember that sometimes peoples lives are not as glamorous as they make it seem! Im glad im not the only one who has gone through this.

    Alisha @ The Alisha Nicole

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  9. Taylor you need to stop stealing the words out of my mouth it's really getting quite awkward. Because I sit here and say I have nothing to write about yet you're writing about everything I should be writing about.

    P.S. this ---> "Patty Pinterest just made a DIY Range Rover out of oatmeal and old pine cones? What the hell? I can't even make a wine bottle covered in glitter." Move forward 100 spaces for that line. Best one of the week.

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  10. I just got down graded and anti-promoted from a house to a tiny apartment and am happier than I was when i had too many effin rooms to vacuum. which also means less times i have to empty the nasty filter, it always makes me sneeze! #perspective

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  11. I think everybody should read this, honestly. Such a good perspective!

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  12. This is right on! I often have a little pity party with myself as I'm checking my Facebook and Instagram feeds...then I just walk my happy ass to the kitchen and pour another glass of wine. I mean because misery likes company, right? And if a big glass of red isn't company, then I don't know what is.

    Then I have to remember that my little old life may seem that way to others looking in. Because you know I'm only posting pics of the good stuff. I wouldn't dare post the yuck stuff. Or the embarrassing stuff. Or the other crap that really fills up my life. No one actually wants to read about that! :)

    PS I think your life is quite fab...and you get extra points for being a Nebraska girl!

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  13. This is so true! Great post and even better perspective!

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  14. Word. This post speaks to me. I was blessed enough to get to stay home when I had my little boy last year, but the constant unknown next step, or lack of performance reviews on a monthly basis sometimes have me questioning where my life is going. I'm very happy, it's just a weird feeling to not have that direction. Good luck, sister.

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  15. I just got incredibly jealous of your warm towels every morning. I know not the point but still. I know I have to give myself social media breaks at times to gain a little of that much needed perspective.

    http://www.seetastelove.wordpress.com

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  16. A really relevant post - with all the good that social media and superb communication has brought us, it can be a real bitch sometimes as well. I'd like to think that I have a pretty good perspective when it comes to browsing these sites, but maybe I just don't realize I'm still bitter about some of the stuff on it? Maybe it's all piling up on me and I'll have a massive breakdown about it one day? For now, I tend to compartmentalize need v. want, and even though there's a lot of "oooh, that's a nice scarf, I want it," I think with the temporary nature of these "posts," I get over it pretty quickly. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but basically my thoughts are only jealousy/envy/bitterness for the split second that I see their FB/Instagram/Tweet, and then I scroll past it and don't really dwell on it.

    Also, I think it's important to remember that other people might just feel a TINY WEE BIT PLEASE JUST A SMIDGE the same about our own statuses and photos just sometimes? (aka subtly trying to tell you your gorgeous Chicago Insta's make me want to hop on a plane to the city, and Harlow pics make me want to steal - uh, borrow - your dog for just a day. Pretend you didn't hear the last part.)

    Ok whoa, sorry for rambling!! Someone's being a Chatty Cathy today ;)

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  17. Ugh I got my butt off Twitter today because everyone seemed so happy and I felt so not, I don't want to compare.

    Also remember that Jenny has to mow the grass and you with your apartment do not! :)

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  18. Yeah, I totally agree. We are more apt to compare ourselves than any other generation because we see everything everyone else has every day. It really just comes down to contentment. We have to look at what we have and appreciate it. That's good, right? It almost makes social media helpful because it keeps us from taking what we have for granted.

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  19. I find myself comparing all the time. Wondering why I don't have this, and they do... how do they afford that and we can't?? It's stupid really, just like you said, we do it to ourselves, but it's hard not to get caught up in it all. I just try to have a different mentality and be grateful for what I have, because some things like warm towels right out of the shower are just plain awesome. this is a great share though because I know a lot of us out here struggle with it daily.

    jenna
    mama daze blog

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  20. I do think everyone can relate to this. I had such a bad habit of comparing myself and my life to others that I finally deactivated my facebook account. I don't miss facebook and I can honestly say I'm so much happier not trying to keep up with the Jones' or every other female who's getting married and having babies.

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  21. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I think I tend to get a little too upset/jealous when it seems like everyone else is out on vacations all the time and having the best days ever every day. My coworker told me I have FOMO (fear of missing out). So I wanna do everything/see everything and when I see other ppl doing awesome things I get overwhelmed by having to tack on another adventure to my list. It's hard to do it all when you work >40 hrs a wk and like 8 hrs of sleep.Oh how I love sleep.

    This post really relates to how I've felt lately and I know I should stop comparing myself to others but it's hard for me.

    Anyway, TLDR version: Thank you for sharing :-)

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  22. I think everyone struggles with this. My key is to keep reminding myself of the quote "don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else highlight reel"

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  23. I am one of those silent readers who has followed your blog for awhile, but I haven't ever felt the need to comment. However, this post hit home today! You have hit it right on the head. Thanks for helping me gain the right perspective! You girl are going to go far...I can't wait to see you on SNL someday!

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    1. Well glad you finally spoke up today! And with such a sweet comment, no less! I really appreciate your kind words!

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  24. OMG I'm so on the same page with you here (and loving the word albeit). I get so upset with myself because I had SO many avenues for success after high school but it seems like I always went down the wrong path and it makes me throw up in my mouth to see that others my age and younger have so much more than I do and worked with much less that I had/have. One of these days, I'll find myself!

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  25. Suck it, Jenny, with your cold towels and pine cone range rover!

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  26. I do the same thing. And I compare myself to people I don't even necessarily want to be like. They just sometimes make life seem so easy that it makes me want to have what they have when I know, rationally, that it can be all a show. Such a silly game us gals play, one I have been playing a lot recently. One I need to be better at catching myself doing so that I don't get sucked so far into that rabbit hole.

    Great post!

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  27. le sigh. I love and relate to everything about this. Thanks for being so honest. I often shut all of my phone alerts off, and I've really simmered in checking in on Twitter and Instagram, because of everything that you've mentioned here. It's so easy to compare my life to whatever everyone else is putting out there .... if only we shared our struggles and what things really looked like "behind the scenes"!!

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  28. Oy vey, I am in this boat with you big time right now sista. No clue what I'm doing in life and all these hoez with perfect lives on Facebook aren't making it any easier.

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  29. I agree with every word of this post! I find myself playing the evil comparison game way too often. If I see someone younger than me buying a house, I feel like my life is going nowhere. Someone got a brand new car? Well, why can't I have a brand new car? This girl got engaged? Well, her boyfriend must love her much more than mine loves me because I've yet to have a ring placed on my finger. It's on and on and on! Sometimes I just have to step away from social media to clear my mind of all that stuff. On another hand, I love seeing the pictures and reading about it. Can't win!

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  30. numero uno a whole lot of people lie on social media. they want to sound perfect to feel better. and B, I too have an apartment small enough not to require vaccume unplugging and it is friggen glorious! also as a renter we can simply call the landlord when we crunch up shot glasses in the disposal, if we pulled that stunt in our own house it would cost a small fortune.

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  31. girlfriend I totally agree! Sometimes I have to just take a break from facebook and social media altogether. So many of my friends are getting married, engaged and i'm over here posting pictures of my golden retriever like he's my child. I live in a big city too and sometimes wonder where my life is headed. I constantly am looking back and asking if I made mistakes at this turn or that but you have to keep moving forward. Your blog is so REAL too and I love that girl! Too bad we can't get jobs at the ASPCA. That would be my dream job!

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  32. I just read an article earlier today that talks about all of this. It's about all of these "lies" that we have been told on how we should be in our twenties. Like the whole having everything figured out, and comparing ourselves to everyone else. I wish I could remember where I found it, but basically it means that you are not alone in feeling this way, most of us do!

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  33. I am just jealous that you know WHERE you are going. I have no idea where I want to go and therefore obviously no idea how to get there.

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  34. I so agree with this post. It is too easy to compare our lives to those of every one else around us, especially with social media. Sometimes I think we just need to take a breath and look around us and realize what we do have. A lot of bloggers have been buying new houses, and man that really chaps my hide because I want to build a house SO bad. But, I am thankful for the home we do have. I am so in love with how it was built and the neighborhood it is in. At least you know what you want to do in life, I have no bloody clue what I want to be when I "grow up" ;D

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  35. I feel that pressure every day to be as good as so-and-so, or as active on social media, blahblahblah. You're doing great from a reader's view :) Thanks for the post. It's a good reminder that we all go through the same things. Those people we compare to are just like us too. BTW having the dryer next to the shower is probably the most genius thing ever!

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  36. I don't think that I'll ever have my life figured out. I want to switch jobs like 4 times a year and always want to move, to have a new adventure, etc. At least we have Chicago, right? (that is, until it gets to be winter next month and we all start complaining about how we'll never see the sun/leaves/flowers/summer again...)

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