A Blogger's Guide To Surviving The Holidays

Wednesday, November 20, 2013


It's not every day you get the chance to partner up with the most unforgivably sarcastic girl in blogland, so when a collaboration post was suggested between Autumn and I, naturally I jumped at it. If ever such an opportunity arises for you, I recommend you do the same. And this girl is just as funny via twitter as she is on her blog, I might add.

Anyway, thus we present to you, A Blogger's Guide To Surviving The Holidays.

Suggestions from Taylor:

#1. Never forget the big C! As in charge. Charge your phones, charge your cameras, charge every damn thing you own. Because if you're not able to document the beautiful center piece you made or the wonderful green bean casserole you're about to eat, it's as if it never happened.

#2. Nothing says the holidays like red lipstick and a top knot. Don't even fret with trying to curl your hair (it will just get hot when you cook anyway) just twist that baby up into a bun on the very top of your head and you'll be golden. Finish the look off with the boldest color of lipstick you can find and no one will even be looking at your hair, anyway.

#3. Prepare for the "are you going to blog about this question?" Because you're going to get it and it's best answered with an enthusiastic "you betcha!" and a thumbs-up, rather than an eye-roll and an apathetic looking "doubtful" response.

#4. Dogs and babies. If you don't have either, now is the time to capitalize on the ones around you. I don't care if they're your aunt's, or your cousins, or the homeless man next door, if you've got a chance to take a photo with a cute baby and a cute dog in a Christmas sweater you need to take advantage of the moment. According to a poll done by Buzzfeed, Instagram photos with either babies or dogs in them are 87% more likely to get more likes. More likes=more fulfilled life.

#5. Remember you're only as good as your last post.... So while it's okay to take a day or two off from blogging during the holiday season, just don't forget Jenny Blogger next door probably isn't taking a day or two off... She's already knee deep into a pile full of chevron wrapping paper just waiting to be posted. Take that for what you will.

*And if you haven' realized yet that I'm joking I'm hate you. 
*And I made up that stat about dogs and babies, obviously.

Suggestions from Autumn:

#1. Don't fret about any holiday weight gain. Remember, there's always a fabulous "How I Lost My Holiday 15" series in your future. The blog posts that will come from this will tide you over for at least two months.

#2. When in doubt, just add glitter--gold glitter. With all the instagramming and photo-taking, we know you feel the pressure to make sure your house is up to Pinterest par. That's why we suggest keeping a large cannister of gold glitter around. Missing a decoration? Put gold glitter in a vase. Did your niece clumsily paint you a pumpkin for the table centerpiece? Put gold glitter on it. Have some leftover corn no one will eat? Glitter that shit.

#3. The higher the cool whip, the closer to God. But it doesn't count if you don't instagram it.

#4. Practice your elevator speech to explain to Grandma how you've been spending your time outside of work lately. Avoid the buzzwords "online community" or "girlfriends" which may send her into temporary panic.

#5. Remember that unfortunately, you're on your own for the next 48 hours. See, here in blogland we all know that we live with perfect significant others in our perfect families and will have nothing but perfect Thanksgiving dinners with zero drama and only mildly-humorous tales to share on our weekend updates. So, stick to the script ladies. Chins up, smart phones out and....Happy Thanksgiving!

*Bonus # 6. Think realistically about how many New Year's Resolutions you'd like to set. Remember....we'll all be following along in our weekly resolution updates.

Happy Holidays, bloggers! Let's make this the best one yet!

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38 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. My new catchphrase... glitter that shit.

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  2. Hahaha the higher the cool whip! Autumn and Taylor, you guys are my favorites :)

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  3. OMG this is the best post ever! As the most anti-DIY person ever and while everyone around me is buying homes and having babies this Christmas.... this is perfect for my life. Just... bravo!

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  4. Can't wait to see topknots, glitter, puppies, and pie photos galore! Your article is hilarious & sarcastic, and the best part is, it's all true! Almost everyone's blog will look exactly the same come the day after Thanksgiving.

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  5. This is really, really fantastic.

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  6. This is awesome! I think my favorite part is "Glitter that shit." Perfect.

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  7. for a second, I thought that stat about babies and dogs might be true. actually, I'm still not convinced that it's not.
    and also, this is hilarious haha

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  8. Hahaha.... Well I got one down cause I documented and posted my late-night green bean casserole-a-thon today! You guys are hilarious! Oh and I glittered my dog the other day so he's insta-ready too.

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  9. hahaha omg yes. especially love #4 from taylor and #3 from autumn. and im already on the weight gain train pretending it's the holidays...

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  10. Oh yeah, we definitely stick to the higher the cool whip closer to God mentality! In my family, Cool Whip is it's own food group and definitely a crime to not have it in the fridge!

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  11. HILARIOUS! Love this:) It's funny, because it's true:)

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  12. these are actually hilarious. well done ladies!

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  13. Glitter it all!!! Whatever doesn't get documented never happened so I will be charging Every thang!!! :)

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  14. The higher the cool whip, the closer to God!! This WILL be used on Thanksgiving-- epic.

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  15. The higher the cool whip the closer to God! Possibly the funniest thing I've heard all week!

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  16. Gold glitter is always a good idea and you're damn right I'm going to blog about it all! If I'm taking pics, they're most likely going on the ol' blog ;-)

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  17. WAY too fabulous.
    "The higher the Cool Whip, the closer to God." New excuse for desserts and unnecessarily high heels.
    Hilarious!

    Erica
    http://ericaligenza.wordpress.com
    NEW POST: http://ericaligenza.wordpress.com/2013/11/20/getting-stuffed-with-stuffing-and-gratefulness/

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  18. Hahaha, important things to keep in mind!

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  19. This post makes very good points even though sarcastic it's very helpful. Lol And you were totally right about glitter in babies they make the world go round.

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  20. Ok what can I say other than who doesn't like glitter.......................lol
    Ok I can also say yeah charge those things nothing worse then having your phone or camera die at a bad moment................ok a real person dying during the meal would be worse but let's not go there.........lol

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  21. I can't get my hair in a top knot. I am screwed.

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  22. LOVE THIS! Especially "the higher the cool whip the closer to god"! :)

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  23. Loved these, girls! My favorites were not to stress about holiday weight gain and "are you going to blog about this?" I get that if I let out a damn SNEEZE now. :)

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  24. Yes! I agree 100% on the red lips and top knot, definitely my go to holiday look!

    -- SarahChristine

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  25. Ahhh I really am planning on top knotting and red wining that lipstick ish up. And finding a tacky Christmas sweater to wear, just cause I can.

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  26. Hahaha- I love it!! I'm going to venture out for some new bold lipstick tonight!! ;)

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  27. can't wait to see your top knot + bold red lipstick!

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  28. I love this idea! Tay's your #4 is so on point. Autumn's #3 is hilarious and yeah glitter that shit!

    I decided to also do a guide of my own thanks to you guys for inspiring me! Check it out Bella's Bloggers Guide To Surviving The Holidays

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  29. You share a nice guidelines with us that i'll definitely follow or also share this post with all to my friends and want that they were read this with their full concentration..!!
    Lloret

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  30. I wish I could rock a top knot! I feel like I just look bald when I have a top knot...my hair blends into my skin too much!

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