Things I've Always Wondered About Home Alone

Wednesday, December 18, 2013



Let me just start by saying I truly think this is one of the best Christmas movies ever made. So much so that I make a trip to the Home Alone house in Winnetka about twice a year simply to pay my respects.

That being said, there's still always been a few things I've wondered about...
First of all, what exactly does Kevin believe has happened to his family. "I made my family disappear," I get that and all, but I can't help but wonder how an intelligent kid like Kevin, who knows how to throw together an elaborate holiday party, rigged with all sorts of gadgets and a dancing Michael Jordan mannequin in just a few hours, would simply accept the fact that his family has "disappeared." Wouldn't he be a little more freaked out?

Furthermore, the kid is scared shitless of a furnace and yet we're supposed to believe that the thought of two child groping burglars breaking into his house doesn't seem to bother him at all? This just doesn't add up to me.

And speaking of things that scare children, is the creepy old snow shovel man from next door the same creepy old man from Now and Then? Because this guy just always seems to be in the right place at the right time. Remember when he pulled Samantha from the flooding sewer? I didn't play in sewers for almost two years after that scene.

You know what else has always bothered me? The police in this movie. Why on earth aren't they more helpful? They're willing to bust their ass to catch a kid who just stole a toothbrush, but not for a panic stricken mom who calls 911 to report she left the country without her youngest child? That conversation with the donut-eating-cop who drops frosting on the phone angers me every damn time. They should have done a lot more than just send one cop over to ring the doorbell one time if they knew there was a young child home alone in the house. This is Chicago people, scary stuff happens here.

And what about those Wet Bandits? Why were they so dead set on the McCallister house? Did they not realize Michael Jordan's mansion was less than ten miles away? I just feel like they probably should have turned away the moment they saw the fake party, maybe just head down the street to the other mansion. Didn't they even consider for a moment that the McCallisters might have had a house sitter? Maybe Uncle Buck was there holding the fort down.

Or why didn't Kevin just call the cops in the first place if he knew the whole scheme was to eventually call them from the neighbor's house anyway?

And why wasn't the mom more pissed she had to go to hell and back to get home, and then no more than five minutes later her entire family walks in through the front door smiling and giggling with each other like it's no big deal?

And are all of the McCallister kids adopted or why do they all look so different? And why is Pete's brother, Pete, not in the movie, as well?

And did Kevin really clean up the entire house except for Buzz's room? I just don't believe that. And what about Buzz's spider? And his girlfriend? Did she get made fun of after this movie came out?

Like I said, there's just always been a few things I've wondered about... I could go on and on but now I need to get ready for my head shot session. Don't be jealous, but I'm about to get my hair and makeup done by "professionals" so I can sit for two hours of photos... I know, it makes me want to throw-up too. They said if I use any "special hair products" I should bring my own. So I guess that means I need to bring my $7 TRESemme hairspray.

Wish me luck. But seriously, wish me luck, I am going to need it. A beautiful patch of dry skin just showed up on my face today that looks like I burnt a cigarette into my cheek last night. I guess it gives me that rugged look that I'm going for. Watch out Charlize Theron, there's a new gal in town ready to go after all of those Monster roles.


 photo signature-23.png

43 comments:

  1. ROFL YOU crack me up! I agree with everything lol
    XO,
    Ellen
    www.askawayblog.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I always enjoyed the house/church, because it was the halfway point from my high school when we had to go running for track practice after school. The church meant I could turn around and go home.
    Anyway, yes, the cop thing!! OMG it's a toothbrush, and your co-worker doesn't seem to care about a child home alone?! And a normal bandit would have totally left the McCallister house alone and picked another one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. All valid points! Buzz's girlfriend was actually a boy they dressed up as a girl because producers thought it was too mean to make fun of a girl like that. The more you know! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was going to mention this! There is a whole buzzfeed article about the things you didn't know about Home Alone. The more you know for sure!

      Delete
  4. Hahaha! Reminds me of the article I read of the doctor diagnosing the injuries in Home Alone. If you haven't read, you should:) http://theweek.com/article/index/238037/diagnosing-the-home-alone-burglars-injuries-a-professional-weighs-in

    ReplyDelete
  5. brilliant! all of it! and you! just brilliant!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good luck, and I'm sure no one will be able to see the dry patch ;-)

    Love that you drive by the McAllister house! I always wondered if they actually filmed inside the house or if they used a movie set for the inside shots.

    ReplyDelete
  7. good luck to you!! and the cops have long pissed me off in home alone, glad I am not alone on this one!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes to all of that!! I guess the house is up for sale again, I almost want to be like yes I can afford this so let's go look at it! Read somewhere that the photo of Buzz's girlfriend is actually a guy cause they thought a girl would be too hurt by it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I had this conversation yesterday with a coworker. Especially about "Or why didn't Kevin just call the cops in the first place if he knew the whole scheme was to eventually call them from the neighbor's house anyway?"

    We decided that it was because he wanted to prove he was the man of the house and he was not afraid lol But you got me on all the others. Also why didnt the mom just rent a car herself after the airport kept denying her? or a big truck to handle the snow.

    ReplyDelete
  10. love home alone and love this! truth be told....Buzz's girlfriend is actually a boy dressed like a girl because they didn't want anyone getting made fun of after the movie (i learned that on the pop up video home alone version on AMC the other day).

    ReplyDelete
  11. Home Alone is my favourite movie of all time. This post is genius.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Love, love, love this. And love Home Alone too, but many of these questions have also crossed my mind over the eyars.
    Annnnd going home to watch it tonight. Sweet deal.
    Good luck today!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. hahah! These are too funny! I never even thought about these things until you mentioned all of them!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Love the Now & Then throwback reference I need to watch that movie again!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I've always wondered why his mom didn't call the house from the payphone and check on kevin herself....lol

    ReplyDelete
  16. I've wondered many of these things, too! It always angered me that the police man didn't do more than ringing the door bell. How could he give up so quickly?! Home Alone is one of the best Christmas movies of all time.

    ReplyDelete
  17. ok this is one of my favorite movies of all time. the police thing. you're just gonna knock on the door and tell them to count their kids again?! that's it! these were some really good points.

    headshot pics please.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Great observations! I love the way your mind thinks:) Home Alone is one my favorite movies, too. Kevin was just so cool! I can't even put together a holiday party half as nice as his, and I invite real people:)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Love this movie and the house is amazing. Kinda jealous that you've been able to see it in person. All very good points by the way.. None of which I'd ever really thought about when watching the movie. You're a pretty smart lady :-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ha, I've wondered a few of these things before, too, but it's still one of my fave Christmas movies!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Buzz's girlfriend was actually a picture of a boy made to look like a girl because Columbus (who directed the movie) didn't want a young girl to be made fun of. The show is coming on twice tonight and the last time they are having "pop ups" that give tidbits about the movie. But very good points here, my dear Watson.

    ReplyDelete
  22. hahaha, this is awesome.
    I was watching Home Alone the other night with notes on the screen and at the beginning when they realize that he's missing, it had a quote from the director saying "if there had been cell phones when this movie was created, the movie would have ended right here" haha

    ReplyDelete
  23. I have often wondered many of the same things! Plot holes!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ha ha ha! I thought about Home Alone last night! I so want it to come on so that my daughter can watch it with me. I love this movie!

    Good luck with your head shots. I'm sure they will turn out great!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Really and truly LOLing at this. The cop who drops the frosting on the phone--HATE HIM! Or is it a her? Can't remember but I DO remember even as a kid thinking, what a sloppy, gross idiot!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I always wonder why the police aren't more helpful, but I love the movie anyways. My roommate and I just watched 1-3 the other night.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Wow this is so funny because I literally watched this movie less than 5 hours ago and said, "It kills me how he drops a piece of donut onto the phone," which was probably a mistake but it tied together the whole careless police offer stuffing his face while a freaked out mom is trying to locate her son.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I love Home Alone and I love this post. I got one of those "Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal" tops that I am so excited to wear to a party on Saturday night. Try to have fun with the head shots!
    - Rachel @ With Love, Rachel

    ReplyDelete
  29. I laughed out loud at several of these, especially the Pete & Pete reference.

    Buzz's "girlfriend" was actually a boy made up to look like a girl. The director didn't want to make fun of an actual girl.

    That's the only one I have a real answer for. As for the cops, you're telling me that a house that has every light turned on signals to you that "there's no one here, house looks secure"?! Really? And the robbers... when they come back the morning after the "party" and are all "I don't get it, the place looks empty now but last night the place was jumping" Um.... guys? What party do you know of that is still going the next morning? Of course the house is quiet now.

    But despite all of these questions, it really is the best Christmas movie on the whole planet :)

    Jamie @
    The Growing Up Diaries

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hahaha the best movies never make sense. My best friend's from the town right next to the Home Alone house - Kenilworth, I think? And show us those headshots!!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. We watch this movie every single Thanksgiving! I have always wondered what it would be like to have "make my family disappear", and the whole cop idea. Cops are boring when you can beat the bad guys!! Haha

    xo. Kailagh

    ReplyDelete
  32. We just watched this movie the other night on TV! And the best was that throughout the movie the channel showed little snippets of how the film was made, how the actors had to act during certain scenes etc! (example, when Kevin puts the spider on the bandits face, the actor had to fake scream as to not scare the spider - can you even imagine!? A real tarantula on your face!?) It was great!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Holy crap.. this is the best, I love movies, I do...but I love to dissect them like this too, but did not even give Home Alone a thought! Totally makes sense, and Now & Then? Love..and that guy...totally creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh yeah I am so with you here these are the things that bugged me about the movie as well.............

    ReplyDelete
  35. I love this post! I just did a post last week about the unbelievable parts from Christmas movies, and Home Alone made the list because seriously, if you get electrocuted or hit in the head with a brick, you die, plain and simple. The other night I watched Home Alone and Home Alone 2 in a row and my boyfriend almost made me turn it off because I kept pointing out all of the things that just don't make sense! I mean I love the movie and all but it is just so unrealistic. Also, I noticed that sister Heather is mysteriously missing from Home Alone 2.. probably wasn't allowed to come on the family vacation because she's the one who screwed up the year before when she did the head count and counted that neighbor kid as Kevin. Okay, I better stop now because "I could go on forever Baby."

    ReplyDelete
  36. This is hilarious. You write just how I think, I love reading your blog! Feels like I'm just...thinking (with much funnier material) !

    ReplyDelete
  37. This is great! I just watched now and then this weekend and thought the same exact thing. Glad you learned to quit playing in sewers for a while ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Thought you might enjoy this:
    http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/home-alone-2-is-one-of-the-most-disturbing-films-ever-made

    ReplyDelete
  39. Our family tradition on Christmas Eve is to watch home alone. It's amazin. Polish people seem to be particularly obsessed with it, maybe because of the brief polka bits. Anyway, did you know that buzz's girlfriend was actually a guy dressed up as a girl bc the director thought it'd be too cruel to make fun of a teenage girl like that. I know I've heard that a few times before...woof.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Our family tradition on Christmas Eve is to watch home alone. It's amazin. Polish people seem to be particularly obsessed with it, maybe because of the brief polka bits. Anyway, did you know that buzz's girlfriend was actually a guy dressed up as a girl bc the director thought it'd be too cruel to make fun of a teenage girl like that. I know I've heard that a few times before...woof.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Did you see this Buzzfeed article? http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/one-thing-that-youve-definitely-never-noticed-about-home-alo

    ReplyDelete
  42. Love it. But I can answer you question about Buzzs girlfriend. She couldn't be made fun of after the movie because she was actually a he dressed like a girl.

    ReplyDelete