Monday, April 29, 2013

Interview Skills 101

#1. Never cry in an interview.

I didn't cry in my interview today, but I came damn close.
Not because the interviewer was mean, he was really quite nice
(in a sweet little puppy dog who looks like Paul Giamatti kind of way.)
This is Paul Giamatti, one of the better actors of our time I'd have to say.

Actually in looking back, one might assume I was the interviewer because I asked a majority of
the questions and I announced when the interview was over.
But that's beside point.
Anyway, the reason I almost started crying was simply because I started picturing myself
working in this terrible job and it was just too much for me to handle.
Whenever he'd say things like "discuss their office supply needs" and
"you have to be passionate about providing the best paper products possible"
I'd wince a little and ask myself how on earth I'd gotten so off course in life.

#2. Try not to judge a book by its cover.
Or do.

Initially, when I was walking toward the building where this office was located I allowed myself
to get a little excited about the thought of acting like a big city working girl again.
The office was right off Madison and Clark in the heart of downtown Chicago.
So yeah, the Tess McGill in me had about thirty seconds of excitement as I walked from my bus stop
to the building.

And then I got into the actual office and saw it was a complete dump.
I judge certain places, like offices spaces for example, by first appearances.
And this place was rough.
Bad decor, or lack thereof I should say, makes me homesick.
It always has. It's a weird disorder I've had since I was a little girl.
I refused to stay the night at anyone's house that didn't feel "homey enough to me."
And in this office there was nothing on the wall, no plants on the ground,
and I didn't see a single framed photo on anyone's desk.
I literally almost bolted.
But then I saw the Paul Giamatti come out and he looked so kind so I figured I'd better stay.

#3. Don't bolt before, or during, the actual interview.

Once I sat down to begin the interview Paul told me that this office was just their
"landing pad."
I still don't know what he meant by that because from what I gathered most of the employees go into
the office at least once a day, it's not strictly "outside sales" as I previously thought...
Paul then asked me my knowledge on paper products,
so I said I've never worked in the industry myself,
but I have a few friends named Greg and Pam and Dwight who have been in the industry for years.
Paul didn't seem to catch the reference so he just went right into his speel about selling
office products.
And then it was somewhere in between him talking about their new line of office trash bags,
and their new break-room paper towels, when I felt as if I actually floated out of my body for a second
and was able to view this interview as an outsider looking in.
And to an outsider, it was quite comical.

#4. Just smile and nod, occasionally add an "of course" and "oh definitely"
when need be.

It was probably during this out of body experience when I just stopped paying attention completely.
I didn't mean to, but I really had no idea what he was talking about so my mind started to wander.
And for as long as I can remember, whenever I'm in situations when I need to pay attention but can't,
I always feel like I'm Homer Simpson from this one specific episode.
(You probably only need to listen to a second or two and you'll get the point.
Of course I listened to all five minutes of it because I find it that oddly amusing.)


It gets me every time because that's exactly how I feel.

#5 Try to pay attention rather than pretend you're Homer Simpson.

"What are you professionally passionate about?" asked Paul, as I slowly returned back into my body.

This was a question I had never been asked before and for a brief second I wasn't sure what to say.
Because I'm not passionate about paper products. Or anything else I assumed he had talked about for the past 30 minutes.

"I'm professionally passionate about all of the things I'm passionate about in life in general.
About writing, and blogging, and Harlow, and going out to eat with Chris."

JK. I didn't say that.
 I said I'm passionate about helping people pick out the correct manila folders and
 the right sized paper clips. Duh.

#6 Don't settle.

In the end, he asked me where I saw myself in five years.
I knew what I was supposed to say, "I would like to be in a managerial position within this company and still have more opportunity for growth within the paper sales market."
Woof, no thank you.
I thought for a second, then decided what the hell I might as well Tin Cup it and just go all in,
so I said,
"Ideally in five years if I could see myself anywhere,
 I would love it if I could be making a living as a writer.
I don't know if that would be from a book, or a blog, or writing at SNL, I really have no idea.
Just working off hope is all...
But in five years that would be pretty cool."

Good day, sir.
This interview is over.

And just like that she's back to square one.



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Taking the Stage ... again.

And last night marked the second performance for the Tuesday night improvers at The Second City.



And just like the first time around, it was all over in the blink of an eye.
For those of you that missed the show, we opened up with a casual little game of
"Sex Is,"
followed by "Onion Peel," "Conducted Gripe," "Opera,"and ended with "Freeze Tag, Pimp Style."
And if you don't understand any of that,
congrats on not being crazy enough to ever take an improv class.
They're seriously as weird as it gets.
So now we have eight more weeks of classes until we "graduate" from levels A-E
 and then shit starts getting real.
In July those of us that want to go on will have to audition for the Conservatory.
And when that time comes head-shots will have to be taken, and acting resumes will have to be made.

I've got a head-shot, but it's a little outdated.

I've also got a fancy black and white one, as well.

And my acting resume reads-
1993- Johnny Appleseed: Appleseed.
1994- 3rd Grade Save the Rainforest play: Juan the tree chopper.
2004- Annie: Lilly the slutty cousin.

As you can see I took a little break from acting between 1994 and 2004,
and then again again between 2004 and now.
I've heard gaps in unemployment often make directors question you as an actor,
so I'll have to explain that during those years I was studying the art of
basketball, track, soccer and picking scabs.

Anyway... as of now I'm thinking I'd like to go ahead and audition when the time presents itself.
At this point, I figure why the hell not.
Like I've always said from the beginning, I plan on doing this until it stops being fun.
And I'm competitive enough that maybe getting rejected from an audition is just what it will take
for me to stop having fun...
Then again, I've heard rumors that many of the greats didn't make conservatory their first time around.
Or perhaps that's just a lie that losers tell themselves.


*Big thanks to our teacher for being such a stellar photographer!

And on that note, I need to get my Monday started.
I've got big things happening this week.
Stay tuned, it's about to get even weirder around here.



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Saturday, April 27, 2013

Serendipitous Whimsicality


Introducing Ellie from Serendipitous Whimsicality.
She's a high school junior going on college visits to places like Harvard, Yale, and Columbia.
So basically she's a girl just about to take over the world.
When you're done reading about her here, head on over to her page and say hello.



1. Your blog is called S
erendipitous Whimsicality, tell us why you chose this name.

The words "serendipity" and "whimsical" are two of my favorite words (yes, I have favorite words. I'm a nerd like that.) I love the concept of serendipity: fate bringing people together, an opportunity arising at just the right time, or even happening to come across the perfect pair of shoes unexpectedly. I also am entranced by the idea of whimsicalities: the unexpected and unpredictable that make life interesting. So to combine the two concepts - serendipity and whimsicalities - exemplified what I wanted in my blog: a place to record the unexpected and wonderful events in life. 


2. What was it that made you decide to start blogging in the first place?

Serendipitous Whimsicality was born on a whim (pun intended) on this past New Years Eve. My best friend Fatima and I were getting ready to go out and somehow the concept of blogging came up. We decided to start one together that very evening! In it's short life, our blog has evolved from posts like this one that are about the time we spend together to the majority of posts being specific to one of us like this one These seem to be mostly about me...probably because once I find a new passion, I'm obsessed. Ever since I discovered the blogging world, I have fallen head over in heels in love with it. What's not to love? 

3. College is just around the corner for you, what are you most looking forward to about this?

Ahh college. The cause of eternal stress while in high school. Well I have a super cliche response to that question that goes something like, "I'm excited about the new independence and the chance to start over and have a new experience outside the world I grew up in." Blah. Boring. But I do have a more personal response that goes something like, "I cannot WAIT to get the chance to explore new subjects in classes that I didn't even know existed. I'm looking forward to creating my own identity as a person and not just as the Ellie that I have grown up being. I want to discover what other worlds are out there and attempt to figure out who the person I want to become is." I know I have high expectations, but I'm excited nonetheless!! :) 

4. What are you most nervous for regarding life after high school?

Everything. Living away from my family. Having to schedule my own life by myself. Being completely accountable for my decisions. Having to at least attempt to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life (I have NO idea right now. NONE.). I'm scared. Let's be honest: if I wasn't scared, there would be something wrong with me. But out of that fear comes extreme excitement. It will be a new adventure that I'm trying my best to prepare myself for in the next year and four months (eeek.).

5- Where do you see yourself in five years?

Good question. I have no idea. Hopefully about ready to graduate from college. Probably getting ready to go to graduate school of some sort. I hope that I'll have made friends to last a lifetime and that I won't want to leave college. Hopefully I'll be looking back at the past four years with amazing memories and no regrets. 


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Friday, April 26, 2013

The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever

Today is going to be a good day.
The sun is shining, the temperature is going to climb into the 70s,
and I survived yet another full moon.
The same however can't be said for Amanda Bynes, at least the left side of her.
Her right side survived the full moon, her left side however, morphed in Miley Cyrus.

The pic is a little blurry, but you get the point.

And just for fun let's look at one more.

Young Hollywood: Destroying lives since the 1920s!

And with that in mind, it's time for another edition of
The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever.

First up, it's been a really solid week for the
Earth.

First of all, it was Earth day on Monday.
And now today it's Arbor Day. But I heard somewhere along the grapevine that Arbor Day
is only celebrated in Nebraska.
Can you guys weigh in? Does anyone else celebrate this lovely day dedicated to trees?
I know in Nebraska it has something to do with Tom Osborne Sterling Morton moving to
Nebraska City and planting a bunch of apple seeds or something and then demanding other
people do the same.
I think that's how it goes anyway..
The bottom line is this week people have really made an effort to pretend to care about the earth,
wish we would do it more often.

Moving right along.
Did you guys hear about Reese Whitherspoon? Thanks to her shenanigans,
every other girl who didn't get arrested
this week is doing pretty good.

I love Reese.
I think she seems terrifyingly perfect, but I still like her never the less.
So when I heard that I finally finally have something on Miss Sweet Home Alabama,
I liked it.
Hey Reese, you know who's never been arrested for disorderly conduct?
Me.

And thanks to E! once again taking advantage of those less intelligent than us
(but a lot better looking)
Michael Phelps has never looked so good.
Because Ryan Lochte has never looked so bad.

I refuse to get into this show because I really believe Ryan has a good heart.
A very dumb, unassuming heart, but good never the less.
So I don't want to watch this show only to make fun of him and his blank beautiful stare.
It just doesn't seem right to me.
Jeah? Jeah.

Speaking of "doesn't seem right," next on my list for the week we've got
see-through dresses.

I don't even know what to say about this.
I just have no words. Both of these photos make me uncomfortable.
At least Kim is wearing panties.
How many of you just cringed when I said that word?
Panties.

And finally, the one thing that is having the best week ever is
May.

April, you've had your turn. It's time to move it on out.
I have never been so excited for the month of May as I am right now.
May is going to be an amazing month, it always is.

And on that note, I need to go get my Friday on.
Have a wonderful weekend, enjoy the weather!


*Feel free to follow along on Instagram as I take photos of Harlow and other random stuff
@taylorgracewolfe.

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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Don't Stop Believing

I'm one of those weirdos who thinks they find little life "signs" on a daily basis.
In all honesty, I probably find them because I look for them.
Whether it's the song playing on the radio, or a license plate that reminds me of someone,
(sidenote: just say NO to personalized plates!)
whatever it might be I seem to find a reason as to why I think every
tiny moment has presented itself to me.
You should try it, it's pretty fun. And also a little pathetic perhaps.
Regardless, today I got my sign at FedEx.
I was in there sending a few packages to my "boss-ish" in Texas when I noticed
one of the workers just full on rocking out to a Journey song.
It was Don't Stop Believing and she was having her own jam session completely oblivious to anyone else in the store.
She was a little on the heavy side, her hair was disheveled, and she had a half eaten Snickers sticking out of her back pocket.
I was immediately intrigued.
The other customers around me in line were getting super pissed and huffy,
as I usually do too when I can see an employee is blatantly ignoring her duties.
But for some reason I didn't care, I was kind of enjoying the woman's complete disregard for her job.
When she finally turned around to serve us and I saw her name tag I couldn't help but chuckle.
Her name was Terry.
And even though her performance had ended, Terry was still humming Don't Stop Believing,
and acting as if we were all in her way
I loved it so much.
I realize seeing my alter ego working at a FedEx Kinkos might seem like a weird "sign"
 and it probably just solidifies for you that I have indeed gone off the deep-end.
But let's be real honest here, I went off the deep-end the moment I started writing about Terry.
And I'm okay with that.


So here's what I took away from this little situation,
A. Even Terry bucked up and got a job she wasn't super happy about, but it's okay.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, it doesn't mean it's the end all to end all.
But most importantly,
B. Don't stop believing. Hold on to that feeling.

Today I had an interview for a job I'm marginally excited okay about.
It's a sales position, I'd basically be selling Dundler Mifflin paper products,
and I would probably have to wear gross close-toed heels
and panty hose while saying cheesy things like,
"you could get a good look at t-bone by sticking your head up a bull's ass, 
but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it."
(As if I haven't always been dying to say that line though really.)
But when I'm not on appointments, the job is work from home.
And that my friends, is something I can deal with.

So until HBO calls and tells me they're over Lena Dunham and want me to write a new series called,
BLOGGERS,
- A show with zero nudity, lots of Mormons, and a DIY lesson at the end of every episode!
I think I'm going to move forward with the sales job.
And I'm okay with it.
I know it's time I buckle down for awhile because in just a few years my life is about to get super cool.

In the meantime I've got my improv to keep the jollies coming....
I'm taking the stage again with this good looking group this weekend!
We're called, "My Friend, Matt."


You can probably find a review of the show in the Chicago Tribune on Monday.
And by Chicago Tribune I mean one of my classmate's Facebook statuses.


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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

When I Start Asking Myself Why...

So I made the mistake of watching the Kardashian interview with Ryan Seacrest the other day.
I don't know why I did it, because I knew I would regret it.
I knew I would hate myself for it.
And I was right.
Like everyone else in the world, a lot of the negativity I feel toward that family is rooted in jealousy.
I have no problem admitting that, it is what it is.
Would I like to get paid to hangout and eat and drink with my family all day?
Hells yes I would.


But the thing that really bothers me about Momma Kris is when she starts raving about her kids
 "work ethic" and how they're not just "famous for being famous."
Here's my two cents on this.
I think it's pretty obvious the Kardashians are either
a. incredibly business savvy
or b. have hired those that are incredibly business savvy to work for them.
I choose b.
Now as far as their "work ethic" goes... I do think they're hard workers,
but I think it's 100x easier to work hard at something you love doing.
Like fashion design, or modeling, or marrying NBA players, or whatever is they do.
Put those girls in a call center and then tell me they have a good work ethic.
Tell them to start selling coupons or work at a staffing agency,
then preach to me about how hard the Kardashians work.
Rob designs socks for God's sake,
the one article of clothing that there is truly never a need for anyone to ever see.
Socks. Really Rob? Come on. You once dated a Cheetah Girl.

Okay, I need to settle down.
I'm just having kind of a weird week... It's safe to say I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment.
Not lost in the depression commercial sense where I want to just lay and cry all day,
not at all.
Just lost in the sense I have no idea what my next step is going to be,
and I'm not sure if this is something I should feel okay about, or not okay about.

Last week I had to re-enroll for all of my classes at Second City and IO
and just as I was clicking "submit payment" I let a little voice of negativity slip in and start
asking why... 
Why are you doing this?
Why are you paying for these classes that might lead you nowhere?
Why do you think you're good enough to do this anyway?
Why are expecting something to come from all of this?
Why are you wasting time chasing this dream?

That Negative Nelly is a rude little thing, thus the reason I don't let her come around often.
But sometimes when I'm in the mood to throw myself a pity party,
I'll let her in just for the hell of it.
She runs her mouth for a minute or two, I feel bad, and then I kick her right back out.


(And yes, whenever I imagine my "good thoughts"vs my "bad thoughts"
they're always played out by Good Michelle and Bad Michelle.)

Luckily, it doesn't take long for me to start thinking positive again and I just habitually
start remembering all of the positive quotes I've seen through out my life.
I'm big on the self help power quotes. (Clearly they've worked out well for me.)
Like this one.


I think I stumbled across this quote as child and took it a little too literally,
because it's really done a number on me.
I feel like I just keep on trying weirder and weirder things as life goes on,
not really caring what the outcome will be.
Of course like anybody I'm scared of failing,
I just think I'm more scared of not trying.

And now I don't know where I'm going with any of this.
That Kardashian Special did more damage on me than I realized.
I need to go chill out with a Capri Sun for a second and regroup.
I'll be back tomorrow with a better plan of attack I promise.

Lost and confused,
Junie B. Jones





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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

When Spring Finally Came to Chicago


Yesterday as a blizzard swept through the lovely town of Norfolk, Nebraska
it almost reached 70 here in Chicago.
And it was amazing.
Although, this long and painful winter has made me realize one thing about Chicagoans;
they are a hard ass group of people.
On Sunday it was barely 45 degrees, but just because the sun was shining people were wearing shorts and tank tops.
While I was still in my winter coat, the guy next to me was in a "Go Bears" cut-off.
It was impressive.

So of course Harlow and I took full advantage of the beautiful weather that presented itself yesterday.

We took a quick trip to the beach.


This would be the running path I occasionally like to pretend I run on.
Because he's a mountain lion, Harlow prefers to run up high on the rock path.

And finally Lincoln Park is going green!




And then Harlow ended the day hunting for squirrels.

I realize this is a pretty lame, photo heavy post, 
I'm just short on time today because I've got an interview coming up here in an about an hour.
So now I've got to go see if I remember how to put on makeup and curl my hair.
I've also got to practice my interview laugh and corny jokes.
If there's one place I truly hate myself the most, it's in interviews.
Wish me luck. 


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Sunday, April 21, 2013

25 Things You Don't Know About Me


1. I'm not good at editing photos,
although I assume by the image above you have already figured this one out.

2. I'm pretty much an open book, so a more fitting title would probably be
"25 Things You Might Already Know About Me."

3. I'm not actually a "multi-talented mom of two" as stated above.
I'm a semi talented(ish) dog-mom of one.

4. I've never had a broken bone, but I do have a marble sized bone-spur directly below my right knee
from an old scooter accident.
It swells when I run, or when it's about to rain.

5. I eat at least one bowl of cereal a day. Sometimes it can be up to three or four.

6. I love Hannah Nefler and admire her ability to rock a side-pony like it's nobodies business.

7. I was an extra in the movie "Anger Management."
I got Adam Sandler's autograph, he called me "Nebraska." I called him "Mr. Sandler."

8. I once got a flat tire twice on the way back to my parents house.
I hitchhiked and got a ride from a really nice semi-driver who ended up fixing everything for me,
free of charge.

9.  Last summer I stole a copper mug from a restaurant,
but then I felt so guilty about it I sent it back one week later.

10. If I could meet one celebrity right now it would be Judd Apatow.

11. When I was younger, I wanted so badly to have a room exactly like the ones from the Limited Too magazine.
This is as close as I got, which let's be honest is pretty damn cool.

12. In college, my sorority gave out a "Sally Sunshine" award every single week.
Yet in all of my four years, I never won it.

13. I absolutely love miniature sized items.
So yes, the travel aisle in Target makes me gitty with joy.

14. I refuse to watch scary movies.
I slept with a cross under my pillow for two years just because the Blair Witch Project
previews scared me so bad.
It was fake, right?

15. In elementary, I had to attend speech classes because I apparently had a "lisp."
I thought I had gotten over this, but last weekend when I tried stand-up each time I heard myself
speak over the mic all I could hear was
Sally sells seashells down by the seashore. Thally thells theathells down by the theathore.

16. I got my first "acting gig" doing radio commercials as a little kid.
Although once the commercials were released I was never asked back.
See #15.

17. I can quote Love & Basketball from start to finish.

18. After seeing Parent Trap, I developed a deep obsession with summer camp.
So one summer my parents shipped me off to horse riding camp.


Unfortunately, it rained the entire week so I never actually got to ride "Cactus."
As you can see I was pretty upset about it.

19. In a three year span when I was growing up I had two cysts that grew in my chin,
and a tumor in my toe.
And then I stopped eating fertilizer and all was good.

20. I love Family Guy. The more offensive the episodes the better.

21. Last night I watched Life of Pi.
I loved every second of it right up until the end.
I feel so cheated.

22. I used to write #22 all over everything back in the day- my arms, my shoes, my shirts,
I even had a gold #22 necklace.
-Tay 22

23. I'm a dreamer, almost to a fault.

24. At post prom my junior year of high school I won about $175 in Burger King bucks,
so for the next few months I would order a Whopper and value size fry
for lunch every. single. day.
Thinking about that today makes me disgusted/a little bit envious.

25.  This list has taken me way too long.
Never again.




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Saturday, April 20, 2013

The Best Playroom Ever


Introducing Kelly from Mrs. In Training,
the self proclaimed "toddler's mama who never quite got over playing dress up herself."

Kelly doesn't know I'm sharing this photo, but I think it's the most adorable "playroom" ever,
so here it is- a sneak peak inside her daughter, Guinevere's, stylish life.


Now meet Kelly....


1. Describe your blog in one sentence. 

 A personal style/fashion blog by a working mom and full-time student (oi) that is 20% lifestyle,
40% motherhood and 5% personal opinion about anything I feel like
 (also: I don't do math).

2. What have you learned thus far about being a "Mrs. in Training?"

In five years of marriage and almost 14 years together, our relationship definitely has evolved.
I've learned that its important to celebrate our differences.
For example, I love to travel, and he hates leaving home - and while that used to be a big fight for us, now I travel and have a great time, and he stays home and has a great time.
We love spending time together, but time apart is essential for us to still maintain our own personal interests and individuality.

3. You and your hubby have been together since high school, that's pretty impressive. 
Any advice as to what a makes a good relationship?

A few years ago he read a magazine interview with a female actress that said she always wore pretty lingerie around her husband and didn't own any sweatpants or ratty tees. He mused on how attractive that notion was, and on a lark I traded my huge sweatshirts for silk robes. Now, the only pair of sweatpants I even have are a pair of "skinny" sweatpants because I bought them in the kid's section at Target, and its pretty obvious that the "target" audience has never birthed a child - skinny is an understatement. I benefit more from this shift towards nightgowns and robes since I feel much more attractive and confident around him - and that definitely helps our sex life, which is, I think, a VERY important part of a great marriage. Also important: humor, trust and similar tastes in movies.


4. You have such great style, what are some of your spring/summer staples?

Shucks, thanks! I'd say aviator sunglasses, a denim jacket for Spring and denim vest for Summer,
white skinny jeans, nude-colored sandals, and bright and colorful tank tops.
 Plus, a really great fake tanner.

5. You have an adorable little girl, what is your favorite thing about being a mom?

Children make fabulous accessories - most days I get more compliments on her than I do my shoes. Seriously though, my favorite part about being a mom has been the built-in companion.
This kid loves Target, poop jokes, the mall, Chick-fil-A and laying in bed watching TV while eating ice cream -  all of MY favorite things!
 She's not quite two, but is the funniest person I know and my best friend.



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Friday, April 19, 2013

The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever

Guys, I think I've caught the acting bug again.
(I had it once previously when I was a child actor for the Norfolk Community Theatre.)


I had an absolute blast at my audition yesterday, that is after I got over the fact I was most definitely
the least "professional" actor in the room.
Everyone had their glossy head-shots in hand,
 all fancy and stuff with their names printed under their photo.
I had a sickly large 8x10 close-up of my big face that I had printed from Walgreens twenty minutes prior, which to be completely honest looked more like a caricature than a head-shot.
Needless to say, I resisted turning over my photo until the very last second.

After we submitted our acting resumes and applications,
(I'll talk about my "acting resume" in another post sometime)
 we were led into a room with about seven writers.
They were all sitting behind a big table sizing us "actors" up and down as we walked in.
We were then instructed to introduce ourselves and sing a few lines of a song.
I don't sing. I am seriously awful.
So when it was my turn I introduced myself and then said,
"For my song I'm going to sing Scrub by TLC, as Alanis Morissette."
Toss that one around in your head for a second...
It was a bold move, I know.
But sometimes when you're just starting off you gotta do what you can to stand out.
For my read-through, I played a bitter wife named Amy.
Without meaning to, I think I accidentally played Amy as Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest.
My nostrils flared, my voice was hoarse with resentment, and I think I may have even yelled
"No more wire hangerssssss!" at one point...


Again, another bold move I probably should have thought through a little more.
Let's just say I'm not expecting a call back.

But enough about my theatrical pursuits, it's time for another edition of
The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever.



First up, I think we can all agree
Chris Humphries is have a pretty great week.

I know I'm being insensitive by saying this, but I freaken love how long he has managed
to draw out this divorce.
Hump had my heart the moment I heard him say to Kim,
"Four years ago you were folding clothes at a boutique in the Valley. 
No one's gonna care about you after you have kids."
Classic Chris, I love it.
They're back in court again today trying to reach a settlement,
I'm hoping Chris holds out until he's awarded Kim's unborn baby.

Next on my list I gotta make a shout out to the greek system,
more specifically the
Delta Gammas at the University of Maryland.

If you haven't read the letter making its way around the internets
wrote from one DG to her fellow sisters expressing to them her disappointment for their lack of spirit during Greek Week,
(she may have voiced it a little differently) 
I highly recommend you stay away. Because it's brutal.
If you hold a seashell up to your ear and listen real closely,
I believe you can still hear the faint whisper of sorority sisters across the nation crying in shame.
And you can also hear GDIs everywhere screaming "we knew it!!!"

Thanks to the Biebs,
Anne Frank 
has also been in the news more than usual as of late.

After visiting her house last week, Justin Bieber was so moved by the experience
he signed the guest book saying something along the lines of,
"Anne Frank was a great girl, hopefully she would have been a Belieber."
Well said, Justin!
I'm sure somewhere in between hiding for her life and
writing journal entries about being tortured for her religion,
she would have been making heart symbols with her hands and singing
one less lonely girl with the best of them.

And I suppose if I'm being fair I have to mention
Pot-heads
(given tomorrow's date.)

I've hated 4/20 ever since I used to work in high schools on this day and had to listen
to annoying teenagers act as if they were the first people to ever smoke marijuana.
Question- if a stoner trips in the forest but no one is around to hear it, does he make a sound?
Yes, because he's actually in his living room. (he's just tripping)
What am I saying though, celebrate away, my ganja loving friends.
Just resist the urge to tell everyone about it...

But most importantly,
the last thing I'd like to mention might not seem like it's having the best week ever,
but I know she'll come out okay.
I'm talking about America.
First there was the terrible bombing in Boston and then the awful Texas explosion Wednesday night.
Yesterday half of Chicago was underwater because of serious flooding,
while parts of the Midwest is covered in a blanket of snow.
And yet we continue on, because that's what we do.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Knock us down and we're just going to get right back up.
We're Americans.

And that's all I've got.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, make the most of it.

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