Well guys, I’m taking over today because Taylor had three beers after class last night (gasp!) and she’s acting like she can’t move today. The poor thing can’t drink like she used to, she’s aging a bit faster than I would have hoped. What’s the conversion again on that? For every one year of my life she turns seven more? I can’t remember how it goes. But I’m not gonna harp on her too hard, she seems like she’s been having a hard time lately. I love her regardless obviously, but I don’t think it would hurt her every once in awhile to at least attempt to try to look nice, you know? Her makeup bag is getting dusty. She scolded me for chewing on her mascara yesterday, but what more do I have to do, actually put it on her face before she gets the hint? I literally brought it to her and she still didn’t get it. Kinda like those nasty “velour” sweat pants I chewed a hole in that she still wears. C’mon Tay, get your life together. Even I don’t wear my old leashes.
We all know how I kind of hate doing these “guest posts” as you guys like to call them, so I figure I might as well get into this and talk about what Taylor suggested, which would be the different ways she keeps me entertained in the winter when we can’t go outside… So this confirms my fear that Tay actually thinks those silly “games” she plays with me keeps me entertained. Poor girl. Let’s just say I’ve aged at least five years this week not being able to go outside for more than five minutes at a time.
The first thing she loves to play is Hide and Seek. I’ve never seen a grown person get so excited to hide in a shower from a dog before. Like I said guys, I think she’s going through something right now. Of course I humor her and play along, what other choice do I have? She throws me a treat that I’m then suppose to go and fetch while she hides. Truth be told, I go and get the treat and then I wait around for about ten more seconds while I hear her giggling and scurrying in the back of the house trying to find a new place to hide from me. It’s all very sad, actually. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate her enthusiasm but it’s a small apartment, it’s not like I don’t know where she is every time.
On Monday when it was -100 outside she came up with a new game. It was called “Keep Harlow Off the Bed.” Oh she had a real ball with this one. It was pretty much exactly how it sounds and I did not like it one bit. For some reason the more she fought to keep me down the more I wanted to be up on that stupid bed. I’ll admit it, I got a little out of control and my fury got the best of me until I didn’t even realize I was in a barking fit and couldn’t settle myself down. But hey, it got me outside in the end. Guess we all know who won that game.
I think I’m being too hard on her. We all know I’m the apple of her eye and she’ll do whatever she can to make me happy and I really do appreciate that. I don’t however appreciate when takes awful photos of me like the one below. That’s just mean, I’m clearly mid shake.
Well guys, it’s been fun. But I’ve got to go because I see the two boxers from six houses down walking across my sidewalk and they know damn well that they shouldn’t be. We’ve talked about this before.
See my new green toy, by the way? DoggyLoot just sent it to me today (addressed specifically to me, no biggy.) It’s pretty sweet, I carry it with me everywhere. At least I’ve got that going for me this winter.
Stay warm, friends and play with your pups. We love you more than you know.
Harlow Wentworth Jimmer Hillis Wolfe