(Feel free to click away now if you're not from Nebraska... Or read on, just don't say I didn't warn you that you're probably going to want to move to Nebraska after reading this.)
1. It's not Norfolk, Virginia.
2. It's pronounced Nor-fork. Or "Nor-folllk" if you work at the radio station or live in Columbus.
3. Like the club scene? Great, Norfolk has one of the hottest clubs in Northeast, Nebraska. It's called "Club Hollywood" and it might as well be in Hollywood it's so damn posh. warning: it is however the one spot in Norfolk where someone has actually been stabbed.
4. Norfolk drivers loathe 40 county drivers.
5. Once upon a time Norfolk showcased the scariest Christmas decorations ever at the Norfolk Community College. I don't remember their official name, but I called them the "Scary Days Christmas Boxes." They were terrifying little robotic people in different Christmas scenes with demonic smiling faces that stared at you from behind their glass box. But it just wasn't Christmas until you had driven out there and looked at them with your scared brothers and sisters sitting on top of you in your parents mini van.
6. Don't own a car? No problem, Norfolk has one taxi cab.
7. Ever bought a Hallmark card before? Well Joyce Hall created the Norfolk Post Card Company back in 1908 before moving it to Kansas City, Missouri, where it became Hallmark Cards. So basically you can thank Norfolk for all of your Hallmark cards.
8. Everything is two minutes away. Or less. Usually less.
9. Norfolk's city auditorium was the original Etsy. (I mean they host a lot of craft shows where you can buy a cute snowman door holder or aprons with mismatching buttons on them.)
10. Speaking of the city auditorium, it's home to one of the best pancake feeds in the state. Just make sure you ask for extra sausage links, those old Lions Club members always go skimpy on the sausage for some reason.
11. Ta-Ha-Zouka. Enough said. Or maybe not enough said, nobody really understands what that park is about anyway.
12. Ricardos. Ricardos. Ricardos.
13. We make them extra sloppy for you. Norfolk is home to the original sloppy joe, the Tastee Beef.
14. Here'ssssss Johnny. Pretty sure we all know by now that Johnny Carson was raised here.
15. So was Jay Wolfe.
17. Like the show Dance Moms? Perfect! With four dance studios in town, Norfolk has a ton of them. Just look for their bumper stickers...
18. Want a new pair of Silver jeans? Two words- The Buckle.
19. Nice people. Norfolk is full of them. One time I got a flat tire and a nice man named "Al" tried to fix it for me, but when he couldn't he kindly gave me a ride to my parents house free of charge. And he didn't kill me.
20. Prenger's cheese dip and cracker bread sticks. The best free appetizer you'll ever have. (And in the winter you have to check out their snow village. It will put your grandma's to shame for sure.)
21. The Madison County Fair is the best fair in the world. Probably. Or at the very least it's the best in Northeast, Nebraska. To be honest I'm not completely sure because I've only been once in my life, but when I was eight I thought it was sweet.
22. Norfolk used to have a cool hotel called "Ramada Inn" and it was the hot spot for birthday parties in the early 90s. It's probably a moot point since it hasn't been around for years abut I figured it was worth mentioning.
23. The best beef jerky you will ever taste is sold on Logan Avenue at a place called R&M Meats. It's kind of hard to find, but when you do you'll be forever grateful.
24. The shrimp nachos downtown at Tienda Leons are to die for. A lot of people don't realize Norfolk is home to a lot of great authentic mexican restaurants.
25. And most of all, because it's a slice of the good life. It really is.
If this doesn't entice you to move to Norfolk, I honestly don't know what else would. So when you're ready to live somewhere where you can actually leave the keys in your car with it running while you go into a store (my dad seriously did this just two weeks ago) you know where to go. And then call Norfolk's best realtor, Jade Lafleur, to sell you a home.