I Don’t Want To Brag But…

Well guys, I had so much fun writing I Don’t Want To Brag But… from a couple of weeks ago I figured it was time to write another. Not to mention the fact I am (once again) nailing life as of late. I have to share it with someone, don’t hate me cuz you aint me.
I don’t want to brag but I made another video. And it’s just as life changing as the others have been. You should probably watch it.

I don’t want to brag, but today for breakfast I ate peanut butter smeared on a hamburger bun. Because that’s just how awesome I am at life right now.

I don’t want to brag, but when I take a dirty dish out of the dishwasher nine times out of ten I’m putting it right back in without trying to scrub it first. Just because it didn’t get completely clean the first time doesn’t mean it won’t the seventh time.

I don’t want to brag, but today I tried to call Chris, my mom, dad, sister, and brother to tell them some exciting news I just found out and not one of them answered. Literally not one.

I don’t want to brag, but right now I have a grey tooth. Life just doesn’t get any better.

I don’t want to brag, but the most productive part of my day is definitely the two minutes while the microwave is heating something up for me.

I don’t want to brag, but last week I was on the bus wearing a baseball cap and a little kid said “excuse me mister.” And he was talking to me. As in “Mr. Wolfe.”

I don’t want to brag, but last night I watched my basketball highlight tape from high school and I teared up.

I don’t want to brag, but people on Linkedin keep endorsing me for stuff I didn’t even know I was good at.

I don’t want to brag, but last night I spent almost an hour getting wrapped up in the lives of famous high school cheerleaders on Instagram. I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out who’s friends with who, and who’s dating who. I think I might start writing fan fiction about them.

I don’t want to brag, but I’m planning on having an Easter egg hunt this weekend by myself. In the words of Jesus, #YOLT.

 photo signature-23.png

Share:

42 Comments

  1. April 14, 2014 / 7:01 pm

    oh man, the gray tooth is rough, I'm sorry. I got BARKED at by a guy last week when I was walking to the subway. And I know it wasn't some sort of "street" pickup tactic because I was looking busted. Hope that makes you feel a little better about being called "mister." Great post as always.

    • April 15, 2014 / 10:36 am

      I love the adjective "busted" and always forget it exists until someone else uses it, and i swear im gonna use it all the time. Then i promptly forget.

  2. April 14, 2014 / 7:27 pm

    bahahahhaha. HILARIOUS. This needs to be a weekly thing. For realz

  3. April 14, 2014 / 7:27 pm

    I would love to steal this post and do one myself. Could you make a link up one of these days?

  4. April 14, 2014 / 7:28 pm

    In the words of Jesus "YOLT" … you my friend are hilarious!

  5. April 14, 2014 / 7:33 pm

    Hahahahaa I'm dying at the hashtag… I've seen shirts for kids that say Jesus Saves Bro so I am thinking they need to make a #YOLT one too

  6. April 14, 2014 / 7:39 pm

    The cheerleaders of Instagram is such a "thing" it cracks me up. I was following a few for a while but not anymore. I guess it was just a phase.

  7. April 14, 2014 / 7:50 pm

    you don't mean to brag but you totally nailed your I don't mean to brag blog post and video!

  8. April 14, 2014 / 8:05 pm

    What is this Linkedin, stuff?

  9. April 14, 2014 / 8:23 pm

    Uhh the fan fiction comment…I actually spit water out of my mouth. So freaking funny.

  10. April 14, 2014 / 8:59 pm

    You are hilarious! I love your videos and the way you share these things. I especially laughed at the Styrofoam cup thing. I've been there.

  11. April 14, 2014 / 9:49 pm

    I honestly was thinking the same thing about LinkedIn today as well!? Dom get it!?

  12. April 14, 2014 / 11:27 pm

    Someone endorsed my culinary skills the other day. I was all… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and then I got my Mr.Noodles out of the microwave.

  13. April 15, 2014 / 3:09 am

    Haha #YOLT 🙂 I hate when you get exciting news and then no one answers so you can brag about it!

  14. April 15, 2014 / 4:39 am

    LOL the dishwasher, I do that sometimes, although you know the 7th time is a bit worrysome, perhaps the mean machine isn´t working as it should hahaha.

  15. April 15, 2014 / 9:32 am

    HAHAHA I do the same thing on a regular basis with the dishwasher. Cleaning those dishes is the dishwasher's job. Not mine.

  16. April 15, 2014 / 9:42 am

    You're hilarious. Legit. (Yes, I said legit.)

  17. April 15, 2014 / 9:44 am

    yolt!? im dying. and dee is the best so even though you're prettier than her. i HATE when i try to call people when im excited and no one answers. thats the worst.

  18. April 15, 2014 / 9:48 am

    "I'm pretty sure someone who's wearing a penis necklace can't call me a whoreface!"

    Seriously you are so funny.

  19. April 15, 2014 / 12:46 pm

    Mr. Wolfe. As in Wolfe of Wall Street. #Baller

  20. April 15, 2014 / 2:11 pm

    I know we've talked about this but the teeny bop cheerleaders on insta are so fascinating.

  21. April 15, 2014 / 2:49 pm

    omg we've all been there when the dog poops twice and you don't have a bag. I've used a number of things before, from stealing people's newspaper bags to trash to a wet piece of cardboard once….that last one was SUPER regrettable – I'm sure you can imagine what that's like. I needed a hand wash STAT.

  22. April 15, 2014 / 2:49 pm

    Way too funny! I mean really…what is with the LinkedIn Endorsing thing? How does someone I've never met know what I'm good at?

  23. April 15, 2014 / 3:24 pm

    You should totally make a VLOG link up.

    Mine would go something like….

    I don't mean to brag but…. my longest relationship with a man is with my gynecologist. #itsworkingout

  24. April 15, 2014 / 8:43 pm

    This post cracked me up thank you for making me laugh it felt good and made me cough and I sounded like I was choking so maybe not that good come to think of it

  25. April 16, 2014 / 12:42 pm

    Dying at the instagram stalking on! I find myself doing the same!!

  26. August 4, 2016 / 3:57 am

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *