I Don't Want To Brag But...

Monday, April 14, 2014


Well guys, I had so much fun writing I Don't Want To Brag But... from a couple of weeks ago I figured it was time to write another. Not to mention the fact I am (once again) nailing life as of late. I have to share it with someone, don't hate me cuz you aint me.

I don't want to brag but I made another video. And it's just as life changing as the others have been. You should probably watch it.

video

I don't want to brag, but today for breakfast I ate peanut butter smeared on a hamburger bun. Because that's just how awesome I am at life right now.

I don't want to brag, but when I take a dirty dish out of the dishwasher nine times out of ten I'm putting it right back in without trying to scrub it first. Just because it didn't get completely clean the first time doesn't mean it won't the seventh time.

I don't want to brag, but today I tried to call Chris, my mom, dad, sister, and brother to tell them some exciting news I just found out and not one of them answered. Literally not one.

I don't want to brag, but right now I have a grey tooth. Life just doesn't get any better.

I don't want to brag, but the most productive part of my day is definitely the two minutes while the microwave is heating something up for me.

I don't want to brag, but last week I was on the bus wearing a baseball cap and a little kid said "excuse me mister." And he was talking to me. As in "Mr. Wolfe."

I don't want to brag, but last night I watched my basketball highlight tape from high school and I teared up.

I don't want to brag, but people on Linkedin keep endorsing me for stuff I didn't even know I was good at.

I don't want to brag, but last night I spent almost an hour getting wrapped up in the lives of famous high school cheerleaders on Instagram. I'm pretty sure I've figured out who's friends with who, and who's dating who. I think I might start writing fan fiction about them.

I don't want to brag, but I'm planning on having an Easter egg hunt this weekend by myself. In the words of Jesus, #YOLT.


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42 comments:

  1. oh man, the gray tooth is rough, I'm sorry. I got BARKED at by a guy last week when I was walking to the subway. And I know it wasn't some sort of "street" pickup tactic because I was looking busted. Hope that makes you feel a little better about being called "mister." Great post as always.

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    1. I love the adjective "busted" and always forget it exists until someone else uses it, and i swear im gonna use it all the time. Then i promptly forget.

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  2. I could not love your sarcasm more.

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  3. bahahahhaha. HILARIOUS. This needs to be a weekly thing. For realz

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  4. I would love to steal this post and do one myself. Could you make a link up one of these days?

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  5. In the words of Jesus "YOLT" ... you my friend are hilarious!

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  6. Hahahahaa I'm dying at the hashtag... I've seen shirts for kids that say Jesus Saves Bro so I am thinking they need to make a #YOLT one too

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  7. The cheerleaders of Instagram is such a "thing" it cracks me up. I was following a few for a while but not anymore. I guess it was just a phase.

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  8. you don't mean to brag but you totally nailed your I don't mean to brag blog post and video!

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  9. What is this Linkedin, stuff?

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  10. OMG YOLT. Dying so hard right now.

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  11. This is why dogs need cell phones. Because you know Harlow would answer. And you KNOW he'd be excited for you!!!

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  12. oh my god. hilarious. i am jealous of your easter egg hunt, i miss those things!

    xo. jenn @ hello, rigby!

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  13. Uhh the fan fiction comment...I actually spit water out of my mouth. So freaking funny.

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  14. You are hilarious! I love your videos and the way you share these things. I especially laughed at the Styrofoam cup thing. I've been there.

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  15. I honestly was thinking the same thing about LinkedIn today as well!? Dom get it!?

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  16. not to brag but...im loving your blog!!

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  17. Someone endorsed my culinary skills the other day. I was all... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and then I got my Mr.Noodles out of the microwave.

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  18. Okay that part about the cheerleaders on Instagram......I just about died. Why is their lives so much cooler then ours right????

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  19. I am definitely using #YOLT for my FB status on Sunday. Jesus won't mind. You shldnt either.

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  20. Haha #YOLT :) I hate when you get exciting news and then no one answers so you can brag about it!

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  21. LOL the dishwasher, I do that sometimes, although you know the 7th time is a bit worrysome, perhaps the mean machine isn´t working as it should hahaha.

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  22. LOL penis necklace!

    YOLT - LOVE it. ; )

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  23. HAHAHA I do the same thing on a regular basis with the dishwasher. Cleaning those dishes is the dishwasher's job. Not mine.

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  24. You're hilarious. Legit. (Yes, I said legit.)

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  25. yolt!? im dying. and dee is the best so even though you're prettier than her. i HATE when i try to call people when im excited and no one answers. thats the worst.

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  26. "I'm pretty sure someone who's wearing a penis necklace can't call me a whoreface!"

    Seriously you are so funny.

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  27. sounds like you're having fun! http://thewanderlusthasgotme.blogspot.co.uk/

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  28. Mr. Wolfe. As in Wolfe of Wall Street. #Baller

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  29. I know we've talked about this but the teeny bop cheerleaders on insta are so fascinating.

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  30. omg we've all been there when the dog poops twice and you don't have a bag. I've used a number of things before, from stealing people's newspaper bags to trash to a wet piece of cardboard once....that last one was SUPER regrettable - I'm sure you can imagine what that's like. I needed a hand wash STAT.

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  31. Way too funny! I mean really...what is with the LinkedIn Endorsing thing? How does someone I've never met know what I'm good at?

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  32. You should totally make a VLOG link up.

    Mine would go something like....

    I don't mean to brag but.... my longest relationship with a man is with my gynecologist. #itsworkingout

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  33. This post cracked me up thank you for making me laugh it felt good and made me cough and I sounded like I was choking so maybe not that good come to think of it

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  34. Toast the hamburger bun next time.. it makes your "dining" experience that much more fancy!

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  35. Dying at the instagram stalking on! I find myself doing the same!!

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