I Don't Want To Brag, But...
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
I hate to do this to you pals, but if you're not in the mood to read another post from a super fancy blogger who's life is clearly perfect (I know you guys think this about me, it's totally cool) then you might want to skip today. Because I'm pretty much nailing life lately and I need to share it with the world.
I don't want to brag, but I've been wearing the same grey sweat pants for almost three days now. They're from high school and they say "defense" across the backside. Because why wouldn't a bunch of high school girls wear sweats with words on the butt?
I don't want to brag, but I went for a great run yesterday. I lasted about three minutes before my lungs started to sting and my ears started to pop. I'm in great shape for my age and proud of it.
I don't want to brag, but I'm probably going to put on makeup today. And I don't know about you, but I only own the good kind of makeup. It's so good that I've held onto it for years and years. My makeup box is more like a memory box, I can pull out a container of pear scented roll-on glitter and remember just how excited I was to buy it at Bath & Body in '98.
I don't want to brag, but yesterday someone called me Connie. I know there's always an exception to the rule, but for the most part we all know what Connies look like. Yesterday, a teenage boy thought I was a Connie. #blessed
I don't want to brag, but I'm not even looking for a job and yet lately CareerBuilder has been sending me a ton of great leads on positions they think "I might be interested in based on my qualifications." Out of the eight leads they sent yesterday four were for HVAC (heating ventilation and air conditioning) three were for janitorial sales, and one was for a management role in sanitation. Me! A manager! How cool is that? CareerBuilder knows me so well it's scary.
I don't want to brag, but when I was back in Nebraska last weekend I grabbed all of my old Tony Robbins life coaching cassette tapes. You know, just in case.
I don't want to brag, but as of lately I don't even have to style my hair anymore and it still looks great. I just go to bed with it wet and when I wake up it's all pretty and mullet like, as if I actually asked someone to make me look just like Joe Dirt.
I don't want to brag, but nobody liked my status on Facebook a couple of days ago.
I don't want to brag, but I'm feeling like really pretty right now. My self esteem is so high that I spent almost two hours last night looking at Kendall Jenner's Instagram. I feel like we're twinsies, kinda.
I don't want to brag, but it's not bragging if you can back it up. That's what I always say, anyway.