A Toxic Relationship

Wednesday, May 21, 2014


Oh guys, this comedy world kills me. In the words of my grandma, "I tell you what." I don't know what that means exactly, but she uses that phrase frequently at the end of sentences that usually involve struggle so it just felt right. You know like, "my hip has been hurting like the dickens, I tell you what." No, what Grandma?

Anyway, for as high as the highs are after a new joke does really well, or after a good improv show, the lows are just as low. Sometimes lower.

My relationship with comedy at the moment is a toxic one. Sometimes it makes me feel as bad as I've ever felt about myself, it makes me question every single thing I do. Yet I keep coming back hoping for that one moment of purely intoxicated happiness to return. I've experienced this feeling so I know it exists, but unfortunately I've also experienced its evil twin as well. Knowing you're in control of an audience and have somehow made it into their "oh you're funny and we're going to laugh at you" graces is the best. On the flip side, knowing you're not in control is the absolute worst.

For some reason as of just recently the nights of sitting at a bar alone, waiting for the list come out so I can write my name down in order to get my four minutes of time have gotten kind of tiresome. And I've barely been at this for a year. I regularly see comics who have been doing this for 5+ years, and much harder than I have.  They go out night after night after night. Bar after bar after bar. Going out every single week night just gets to be a lot sometimes. Don't any of these guys have blog posts to write I wonder? Or Harlows to snuggle with?

I guess if there's anything I've learned, it's that the world of open mics definitely isn't for the weak. But it's the moment of telling that one great joke that seems to captivate the entire room that makes it all worth it.

At least that's what I tell myself...

If you ever get the chance to go watch an open mic, I highly suggest you do. And be a kind human and laugh at the comedians you see, even if they're not funny. Chances are they're anxious and tired and nervous and just chasing a dream.

And on that note here's a few upcoming shows I have on the calendar. Come hang out! It will be fun!

The Funny Bone in Omaha- Friday, May 30th 9:45 p.m.  (I'm opening for hilarious Brad Williams)
Chicago Women's Funny Festival- Thursday, June 5th 9:00 p.m.
Crossroads Tavern in LaFayette, Colorado- Saturday, June 7th, 7:00 p.m. (this one is going to be a real blast!)
Zanies- Monday, June 16th 8:00 p.m.

That's all I've got for today. Happy humpday. The three day weekend is getting closer!

PS- I have one Saturday Spot that just became available for this weekend! Check out my rates/traffic stats here.

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25 comments:

  1. I was in a real toxic relationship for 7 years and so glad i got out almost 3 years ago .

    http://nightowlventing02.blogspot.com/2014/05/hump-day-confessions_21.html

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  2. I can definitely see how open mic isn't for the weak! I wouldn't last a day.

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  3. No, an open mic wouldn't be for the weak. Comedians go through so much when they go on stage, and it must be really tough doing it at the beginning. Kudos for you for having the courage to do it.

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  4. I give you thee BIGGEST props for what you do, that has to be the most nerve wracking thing, and from the videos I've seen you do it very well!
    Chasing dreams can be rough and overwhelming, but I love your positivity in it all as well!

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  5. I honestly wouldnt have the balls to do what you do so props to you girl. Keep chasing your dream, you're good at it!!

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  6. I can't even imagine how intimidating that must be to have to go night after night and never knowing what to expect. I think it's amazing though that you've only been doing it a year and you've come so far already. It shows you have a knack for it.

    -Jackie
    http://ournashvillelife.com

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  7. But you really are funny, so that's something! I guess it's one of those things where you keep at it until the bad feelings outweigh the good the majority of the time. As long as that's not the case, you keep being funny!

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  8. I can;t even imagine putting myself out there like you do. I give you SO much credit! I can't say I've ever been to a comedy show and thought they were bad. I think once I walk in the room I am tuned in to laugh easier, so I'm the one that's always giggling. Keep it up girl! You got this!

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  9. Well, if it makes you feel better I think you are hysterical! Your blog is one of my favorites to read. If it really is your dream, keep after it girl! If it's meant to be you will get there eventually :)

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  10. It still amazes me when people get up and do things like this. It scares the crap out of me and I don't think I ever could! Good luck :) And I still think you should include a video of your stand up on the blog one day!

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  11. i really like when you write about this because it's like I get a glimpse at what it's really like. and man, you're bold. i can't even imagine how hard and draining that must be but if you have gigs you must be doing something right!

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  12. Obviously, I SO relate with this! I would be lying if I didn't say that I've been slowing down in the comedy world lately. You hit the nail on the head about open mics -- it's just so hard to sit there at that bar or in a dank basement for hours on end while you wait your turn. I have still never become the comic who goes out every night, and I know that hurts me in the long run, but for my sanity it has to be that way for now. Keep trucking, funny girl! It's so meaningful to hear you speak the truth!

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  13. I give you a lot of credit for going up there and doing what you do. I just don't have it in me to get up in front of people for anything!

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  14. If you ever come to Alabama I'll totally come watch your show :)

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  15. I think that's the telltale sign of true passion, right? That you're willing to torture yourself in order to feel the high you get from this one thing. I mean, I guess it's also addiction... but it's passion too ;)

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  16. I have every intention coming to stalk you at Crossroads. I'll be telling everyone that you're my friend from "college"

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  17. Hang in there! It's really hard to put yourself out there. I feel a similar way about the jewelry I make. There's nothing better than selling something to someone and them saying they love it, but then when someone doesn't like what you're making, it's a real blow to the ego. I really admire you putting yourself out there. The laughs will swing back your way in no time:)

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  18. Keep going, you're doing great. I think 98% of success is just showing up consistently.

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  19. I can imagine it wouldn't be an easy thing to do, especially if you're working all day and then you have to 'go out' to do your comedy bit. BUT.. it looks like you have a busy month ahead of you. I would see this all being really satisfying in the end though! You earned every moment in the light.. and if I was living nearby I would definitely come out to support you. (I've seen your stand up.. and you are funny!)

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  20. I have never been in a toxic relationship but my sister Sue foes from one to another

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  21. without sounding like a super creep, we are coming up to chicago next weekend. i was pumped thinking ahhh maybe i will catch taylor doing a gig somewhere. just saw the schedule, clearly you won't even be in town. super bummer. i love that you are posting your schedule - you totally should keep that up.

    and good luck!

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  22. I've been to many a comedy night, but never got the nerve to get on the mic. A lot of my friends would pressure me to do it, but after seeing some people bomb so hard (even with an audience that's generous with laughs,) it's really disheartening! But when someone's funny, they're usually really funny. I have a feeling you're in that category!

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  23. whoops should have read this before my tweet, sorry! :)

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  24. You end up needing to begin once again once more. You recollect that you would prefer not to get hurt once more. I have uplifting news for you! You don't need to get smoldered. There are vital things to remember however when you are entering into another relationship. It can help you realize what to watch out for when that new potential relationship goes along Ryan Eagle Scammer.

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