But why does my iphone suddenly die when it still shows 30% battery left?
Okay, but why do some Mexican restaurants NOT serve free chips and salsa? We all pretty much know by now the combination of the two are cheap enough to give away.
And why does my milk have crusties on the top every time I take off the lid? Milk shouldn’t have crusties. Actually nothing should have crusties.
But why do I always break the zippers on my coats and jackets?
Why can’t I pour myself a cup of coffee at least once without spilling a dribble of it first on the counter?
Okay but why does my candle still look like there’s some candle left but yet it refuses to burn? That’s false advertising.
And why is my deli meat always a little too wet for comfort?
But why do I always drop my phone in the black hole of my car between my driver’s seat and console?
Why does my DVR sometimes just continue to fast forward even though I’m clicking play and profusely screaming STOP at the TV?
Okay but why do people still ask me for directions to places? I’m just going to direct them to google.
Why does my printer ink insist on ruining my life by pretending it’s always low when I JUST BOUGHT NEW INK.
Why are jars of pickles so damn hard to open?
And why does my iphone look like its been dumped in honey and then thrown under my fridge to sit for two weeks whenever I take its case off?
Why do public toilets like to spray when you least expect it?
And why does the bowl of spinach I just threw into the pan suddenly shrink down to only one leaf?
Okay but why do some of my clothes have laundry detergent spots on them? I was under the impression laundry detergent did just the opposite…
And when is my chapstick going to the beach without me?
And why does Facebook always mistake me for a boy when tagging me in photos?
Okay but why does my iphone trap apps in a place where I can’t get to them?
And why do waitresses ask me “have you ever been here before” right before I’m about to order? Even if I haven’t, I’m pretty familiar with the process.
And who gets to choose which food buttons appear on the microwave? Are people really microwaving potatoes that often and defrosting vegetables?
And why do I occasionally get emails from phone numbers? And why do they always intimidate me?
Okay but really though, why?