The Bike Wreck

Tuesday, July 8, 2014



I got in a bike wreck yesterday.

Although I struggle to call it a "wreck" as it was more like a slow motion fall. So I guess I should have just started with "so I fell off my bike yesterday" instead.

So I fell off my bike yesterday.

After reading that phrase over a few times it's only getting more ridiculous to me. How does someone fall off something that is shorter than them to begin with?

Anyway, here's what I learned, when a kid falls off their bike people run over to help. When an elderly person falls off their bike people run to help and they also call 911 (yes, some elderly ride bikes in Chicago.) And when someone in their late twenties riding a bike in a skirt falls off their bike moving at a speed so slow they could have just easily stepped off the bike instead, people laugh. They stop in the street and laugh.

I was in a skirt because I was headed to the Second City and right now my class is doing a run of improv shows every Monday. And maybe I just like wearing a skirt when I ride my bike in the city. It makes me feel like I'm Mary Tyler Moore or something. I'm just a modern girl trying to make it in the 70s.

Yesterday however, I didn't make it. I didn't make the curb I was trying to jump like the ballsy ten-year-old I thought I was. Bikers have to ride in the street in Chicago (which is just as terrifying as it sounds) but when I got close to Second City I needed to get it on the sidewalk to lock it up. For those of you that are familiar with Chicago, you know the area around Second City is always super busy at North and Wells. Yesterday was no different.

As all of the pretty looking yuppies were sitting outside enjoying their happy hour drinks on the patio I came cruising in like the cool biker I think I am and decided that rather than walking my bike up on the sidewalk like any normal adult biker would do, I'd just hop that shit like any normal kid biker would do instead. My front tire hit the curb, my bike tire went into the air, and for about two seconds I balanced like that. For two seconds I could have just calmly stepped off my bike and admitted defeat. But instead I tried to force it. I tried to force the bike up onto the sidewalk even though there was no way in hell it was going to happen. And that's when I fell over in slow motion.

Now here's what you should know about my bike. It's like really cool! Is what someone might have said in 1997 when my parents gave it to me for my birthday. It's a forest green Diamondback (with silver lettering, no big deal) and it has handle bars that stick out not just horizontally, but it has vertical handle bars as well. Like I said, it's a really cool bike.

Now that you've got that visual you can fully appreciate the image of me falling off of it in slow motion while wearing a high waisted skirt and crop top.

Was I hurt? Not physically. Just mentally.

And now because I feel like it why don't we all sit and enjoy this wonderful clip of the opening credits from the Marty Tyler Moore show. Turns out she doesn't ride a bike after all. I can't win today. Let's just say that's me at the 55 second mark, instead.



The Mary Tyler Moore Show Opening and Closing Theme 1970 - 1977 from TeeVees Greatest on Vimeo.

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27 comments:

  1. am sorry you fell i hope you didnt get hurt. you are right as an adult falling people will laugh at you

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  2. Glad to hear you're alright! Major props to you actually biking in the city too!

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  3. I blame the skirt. It clearly messed with your aerodynamics. :)

    http://www.thealleyto.com

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  4. Oh no, I'm glad you didn't get hurt! You have to ride in the street in NY too and it is one of the most terrifying things I've done. Even the bike path along the Hudson is a nightmare and that's enclosed. You're so funny, I'm sorry for laughing at the visual. It just sounds so perfect, straight out of a sitcom.

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  5. Look at you, getting the laughs before you even step into the comedy club. Always thinking ahead. . . glad you're ok, aside from the bruised ego. Sadly, in my experience, the ego generally takes the longest to heal.

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  6. You really are going to make it after all. I have been known to fall 'up' stairs, so don't feel so bad. You are not alone in this world ;)

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  7. We saw someone fall off this bike on the Fourth. We didn't laugh but just assumed if he as in his twenties, he was probably drunk. He fell just randomly though. Like he just blacked out while riding. He was in the middle of street and the next thing he was falling over sideways lol

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  8. Ah man! The mental image I have of you trying to jump that curb has had me laughing for a few minutes:) Glad you're ok:)

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  9. haha oh no, i think i would have been more mentally hurt myself.

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  10. Well, at least you are okay physically :D

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  11. I ride my bike all the time and I an genuinely scared that one day I am going to face plant..and of course that day will be the day I wear some kind of outfit that will practically come off during the fall.

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  12. Glad you didn't get hurt!! I've actually been run over by a bike! Not fun to get in accidents ever!

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  13. Last time I rode my bike in a skirt I fell off and broke my foot. No one helped. Good times!!

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  14. Were you hurt yes, were you injured no. At least that's a blessing. :] // itsCarmen.com ☼

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  15. haha this reminds me of the time I flipped over the handle bars of my bike because I pressed the brake for the front wheel, but not for the back wheel.

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  16. I'm glad you're ok!-- at least now you can laugh it off! Once I flew over the handle bars of my bike when I tried to brake on gravel and skidded out--not cool. :)

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  17. Hahaha I tried to ride my kids bike the other day and couldnt fit my butt on the seat and fell off.. they thought it was hilarious.

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  18. Well on the plus side, you're ok. And you have a fun story to tell your kids someday?

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  19. I used to run from work to the ferry when I worked in Seattle. My foot got caught where there was a crack in the sidewalk and I ate shit. This guy driving by slowed down and said "oh shit." Good times. I was dripping blood from my hands (fortunately my leggings hid my road rash) and had to continue to run to make the ferry in time. So many stares.

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  20. Bike riding in a skirt, on the street - you get lots of points for that!

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  21. Frankly anyone brave to ride a bike in any busy city gets points from me for having the balls to do that even if said balls could easily be exposed in a skirt :D haha Glad you didnt hurt yourself though!

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  22. Sorry to hear you had a fall, that is never good, I don't fall off my bike because I don't have a bike and I can't ride a bike which is why I don't have one

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  23. Oh wow! This made me laugh but only because I too have done stupid stuff. I stepped on the end of a rake and the handle slammed into my head. Had a hughe goose egg and everyone laughed. All said it looked just like in the cartoons! Glad you are ok!
    Kristin

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  24. lol!! Aww you poor girl. I got in a pretty bad bike accident (with myself, of course) when I was in 8th grade and I haven't ridden a bike since then. Bikes are no joke!

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  25. I love the imagery in this. I know the feeling. Last fall I fell off my bike right in front my dorm. To make things worse I actually cut myself and they didn't have a first aid kit at the front desk. I had to interrupt my House Fellow at a House Dinner to help me bandage up a small wound on my hand. And when people I asked if I was ok right after the fall I am sure I was bright red and I just nodded and walked away as quickly as possible. It may have been drastic but I didn't ride my bike the rest of the year.

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  26. I love Mary Tyler Moore! Is that on Netflix? If so I feel a binge watch coming up.
    http://soldoutarenas.wordpress.com/

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  27. I hope your emotionally recovering well Tay ;)

    guesswhathollie.blogspot.co.uk

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