A Letter To Myself In Ten Years

Wednesday, October 8, 2014


Well... I'm not quite sure where to start this fictional letter so I suppose I should just jump right in.

Dear girl in her late thirties,

I'd be lying if I didn't say I have a lot riding on you. Basically everything I'm doing right now is in an attempt to make your life easier. And better. We both know teenager Tay didn't do shit to help us so I'm trying to make up for that now.

No sense in pussyfooting around the matter so I'll just ask it. But before I do, you're still saying pussyfooting right? Don't ever let that phrase go, it's just too fun. Anyway here it is... did you make it? You know what I mean, DID YOU MAKE IT? Please tell me you did, because if you're still just some lost girl running around Chicago not sure what to do or where to go and it's still a constant battle with yourself every single morning just to get out of bed I'm not sure I can finish this.

You have to have made it. There's just no other option.

Maybe in ten years "making it" will mean something different. Right it now it means having a career doing something I really really love doing and am actually getting paid for. And not just enough to barely cover rent each month. I mean enough to live, to actually really live and enjoy.

We both know this could mean a multitude a things, I have quite a few passions. Am I writing? Acting? Joke telling? Making movies? (Like I said, I have big goals for you.) Please just tell me it's something creative. I've tried the other jobs before and they made me run for the hills.

I want you to know I'm trying, although not hard enough I know. I want to try harder but sometimes I just don't know how to, or what to do. That sounds like a typical girl in her twenties excuse, I know. But it's true. I know where I want to be, I'm just not sure how to get there so I'm trying out every route possible at this point.

And now I'm just sounding dramatic (late twenties remember, goes with the territory.) Even though I'm lost and scared and on the verge of tears at almost any minute, I'm still throughly enjoying life and this ridiculous path I've chosen to take. See what I did there? I said chosen because I'm taking full responsibility for this crazy unpredictable lifestyle I have willingly embarked on. A straight and narrow path would have been easier and more stable, and probably held less confusion and tears, but that's never been us.

Last night I performed at iO with The Pool (we got two more weeks added onto our run woo hoo) and afterward we all went out to a great restaurant off the beaten path and had good drinks and feasted on small plates of awesome food while we laughed and joked about anything and everything. It was a good night. A night that made me happy I'm doing what I'm doing.

In a couple of weeks I'm heading to New York for a comedy festival and I get to tell jokes in real-life New York comedy clubs. Just like all of my idols!!! I am probably more excited for this than I should be, the good comedians hop over to New York all the time, but I don't. So I'm relishing in it.

See, I am trying I swear. I think about you and where I'll be in ten years no less than five hundred times a day. Honestly, it's all I ever think about. It's what keeps me up at night and occasionally keeps me from getting up in the morning... No pressure or anything.

But if you haven't made it (cue stomach drop) I kinda hope you haven't given up yet either. I hope you're still hustling every single day to try to make this life of chasing your dreams last just one more day.

I hope.

Because if I don't hope, what's the point.

This might have just gotten a little dramatic again. Sorry, I'm feeling emotional today. I just found out Reverend Camden used to touch children and didn't actually live in a 7th Heaven like I thought.. My head is kind of messed up.

Keep on keeping on, Older Version of Me.

And if we ever meet Teenage Tay let's do a number on her. I'm still finding new sun spots on my face thanks to her...

The Daily Tay Blogtober14

Wanna get emo with your future self? Link up below!

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30 comments:

  1. I have, without s shred of a doubt, that you will most certainly make it.

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  2. Ditto what Helene said. You've already got it going on. I'm sure it'll keep getting on!

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  3. I love this so much. You're totally going to make it!

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  4. One of my favorite posts of yours! And you're going to, we all know it! Also, seriously...was the 7th Heaven thing a joke or real life? Did I miss something? I will be heart.broken.

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  5. You will make it! It might not always be the "made it" you think of, but my bet is that you'll be really happy doing what you love and getting paid a lot of money:)

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  6. Love this! You are hilarious and very talented, how can you not make it? :)

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  7. What an awesome, honest post. Great read!

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  8. You'll make it! You're practically there. That's so great that you get to tour in New York. THAT'S living the dream. :] // itsCarmen.com ☼ ☯

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  9. Please never stop using "Pussyfooting"

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  10. That Reverend Camden comment made me laugh hysterically!! When I heard it on the radio this morning, I kinda felt like a kid stole my cupcake at lunch.

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  11. True words! Keep on keepin' on, we're rooting for you!

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  12. This was such a joy to read! i hope you make it! lots o love x

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  13. Haha I loved reading this!! When I wrote my letter, at the end I said "remember to wear sunscreen." Made me laugh because you said you were finding sun spots thanks to teenager Tay. Too funny!

    xo, Taylor

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  14. Taylor, I have been reading your blog for a couple of months now (love Harlow!) but have never commented yet. This post was amazing. It made me laugh and almost get teary a few times. I could relate to so much to what you said. Hope you never stop writing, even when you make it!

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    1. Thank you Lisa for this comment. This post took me no less than five days to write. I started and stopped it about 20 times because it was just hard. I think there must be a weird moon going on because I also got a little teary eyed writing it. Let's blame it on the stars.

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  15. No doubt in my mind that you'll make it! Keep pushing and striving for your dreams! I absolutely love this post because you're being so honest with yourself! I wish nothing but the best for you now and 10 years from now!

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  16. This is a fantastic post! I can relate with pretty much all of it!

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  17. "Because if I don't hope, what's the point." BEST part of this post! Just keep swimming girl! You're too funny to not make it!

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  18. It can be so hard to share your dreams with anyone because then it feels like so much to live up too and so scary. I believe that speaking about your dreams is the first step into making them a reality <3

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  19. Great letter! You're totally going to make it. You're too awesome not to.

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  20. You are going to make it, I have faith.

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  21. I think so many of us can relate to every single word of this letter. And I too have not a doubt in my mind that you will make it. But on the off chance that you haven't, just know that you lived a life of trying, and that is infinitely more valuable than any other kind of life. But alas, I'm expecting lots of blog world jokes from Tay in Ten Years on her worldwide comedy tour or however it works!

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  22. I hope you make it big some day, we are all rooting for you! Love how inspiring this letter is!

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  23. I do like all these letters that I have been reading around blogland today

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  24. I saw this post on bloglovin and was immediately pulled to your blog. Was a really lovely post to read and I don't think it's possible to write this type of 'letter' without getting serious. I did the exact same thing on my post a couple of days ago although it was a letter to my younger self.

    Good luck on New York, I'm sure you will kill it! x

    Tess
    www.simplybeingyoung.com

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