So what was my dream job as a kid? Well funny you should ask. Let's take a look at a journal entry from my childhood, shall we? We shall.
First things first you guys, let's look at the date here. November 8th, 1999. I'm in middle school. As in I'm probably a little too old to still believe I have a shot at the Olympics- in three sports no less. I could barely make a lay-up at this time or do a back-walkover. But damn it that's not going to stop my little heart from dreaming the biggest dreams it can.
1. Movie Star.
Obviously. If ever there was a kid who dreamed of having a turbulent childhood thanks to early stardom it was me. I so badly wanted to be child movie star. I would beg my mom to take me to the big city (Omaha) to audition for various roles. Sadly I was a little hard on the eyes and a little low on the talent so I never landed a single audition in Omaha (or Sioux City where I auditioned for Home Alone 3, although I think we all know I dodged a bullet with that one.) However, I was kind of the star of the Norfolk Theater world, at least from the years 1991-1994. Or whenever Klancy Nixon didn't audition for my same part.
2. Olympic Anything.
I can remember watching the 1996 Olympics like it was yesterday. It was the dream team of gymnast girls. My idols. I'm not even going to name their names because you should know. YOU SHOULD KNOW. So in 1996 I decided I would go to the 2000 Olympics; I would be 13 and that was the perfect age to peak I figured.
I enrolled in gymnastics at the YMCA the next day and couldn't wait to start competing. Sadly the mean instructors at the YMCA didn't pass me on to the competitive level simply because I couldn't land a cartwheel on the beam. So like all great athletes do when faced with a little adversity, I quit on the spot. I figured I could get in with track or basketball. Tons of little girls from rural Nebraska do.
3. Work at a magazine.
Spending my days drawing little cartoons of fashion girls with tiny waists, big hair and huge lips. Anyone remember those little drawings in old Seventeen mags? I lived for them. I used to spend my Sunday afternoons trying my hardest to replicate them exactly. If you'd like to know how they turned out please refer to the paper above and look at my drawing in the top right corner of a stick figure wearing a triangle hat... It's right next to a cat face.
4. Design clothes for Limited Too!!
Just to ensure that everything in my wardrobe could be covered in glitter and fun phrases like "sassy and I like it" FOREVER.
5. Food Tester.
Which was originally model. You know those ugly kids who don't realize they're ugly but think they're beautiful because they're parents tell them they are? That was me. My inflated self esteem was through the roof as a kid. I thought my braces made my teeth sparkle and my fivehead gave me a unique sophisticated look... Once I wore my hair in pigtails and a boy called me a cocker spaniel and I took it as compliment. Because dogs are cute!
And yet I still decided to cross out model (quite aggressively I might add) and decide to be a food tester instead. Please note the taco and pizza drawings next to it. I went through a big taco and pizza drawing stage. I don't think I need to point out that the taco is even 3D, pretty cool.
6. Write ghost stories.
Because ghost stories are awesome. I spent my early years as an elementary novelist focusing solely on the afterlife.
7. TV star.
I guess if all else fails I could star in a TGIF show or something.
8. Write super kewl movies that I get to star in.
Only because now I'm starting to be a little more realistic, but still clearly feeling good about my future because I threw in the fancy "S."
I don't care what anyone says, SNL has my heart. Always and forever.
And what's my dream job today you might ask? All of the above.
Catch your dreams before they slip away... -Rolling Stones. If there's anyone to take inspirational quotes from it's rockstars.
What is your dream job? Link up below.