Trust Me, I'm An Expert

Friday, October 17, 2014


I'm an expert at...

Taking photos of dogs. And leaves. And dogs in leaves.

And posting said photos on Instagram.

Picking my nails. I'm like really good, been doing it for years.

Wasting time and putting things off.

Finding the best Cool Ranch Dorito in the bag. You gotta look, but it's always there in all its ranch speckled glory.

Facebook creeping. I always get to the bottom of things.

Day dreaming. If I worked as hard as I day dream I'd probably be a ruler of a small country by now.

Shoving things in small spaces. Just be careful when you open any door/cabinet in my apartment.

Accidentally pouring milk crusties into my coffee. Noooooooooo.

Judging the "popular posts" on Bloglovin that almost always look the same to me. I get it, you look like a model and clothes look nice on you.

Taking compliments from homeless people. Yesterday a seventy-year-old with no teeth called me "hot stuff." I'm still riding that high.

Eating beans. All day, every day.

Avoiding voicemails.

Road rage. It's bad, I've said things I'm not proud of.

Knowing all the lyrics to Shoop by Salt N Pepa.

Choosing the wrong line at the airport.

Going into the one stall without toilet paper.

Finding the table at the restaurant that is painfully wobbly.

Saying every line out loud in Love & Basketball.

And people love when you say movie lines out loud, it's not annoying at all. Trust me on this one, I'm an expert.

And on that note, I'm off to get my weekend started. The entire state of Nebraska is traveling to Chicago this weekend to watch the Huskers play Northwestern tomorrow, so it's going to be a good one. Last time the Huskers occupied Chicago this post happened.

Hope your weekend is great as well!


The Daily Tay Blogtober14

 photo signature-23.png

19 comments:

  1. If I could make money avoiding voicemails, I'd be a millionaire!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm also an expert at avoiding voicemails... I don't know what it is but I absolutely hate taking the time to listen to them. Sounds like you have a great weekend ahead of you, have fun!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think compliments from homeless people is what I'm missing in my life right now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Milk crusties are my worst nightmare. They smell like unwashed feet in a really old pair of Crocs. Luckily, I've become lactose intolerant, so I've got that going for me.

    Sarah
    http://fromdogwoodstomagnolias.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love this list! Also glad to have found another Love and Basketball fan:-), oh my gosh I love that movie! It's in my top 10, even if it's not critically acclaimed;-).

    ReplyDelete
  6. Compliments from old homeless people are always a great self-esteem boost. Great list-- you're gifted!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ugh milk crusties! So gross, I hate when that happens! I too am gifted at Facebook creeping. It's a great quality, right?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm on that road rage train right with ya. I also rode on a high last week when a creepy guy matched my speed on the interstate for several miles just to tell me I was beautiful. I'm not sure what his purpose was after that. But I told him I was married. I'm not.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm also really good at knowing all the words to Shoop. And changing my voice so it somewhat matches each singer. And I'm good at being good at things I really shouldn't be proud of. Sorry, not sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  10. this is my fav prompt of blogtober14 so far. who came up with it? probably you. also i was picking at my nails when i read your line of being an expert at that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. So you may be an expert at finding the one stall without toilet paper, but are you also an expert at noticing before you use that stall?! Or do you have to pull the Elaine, "Can you spare a square?"

    P.S. This list is hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Personally, I'm very proud of the things that have come out of my mouth during road-rage fueled rants! :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm also an expert at the Facebook creeping!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Love && Basketball, YESSSS! xoxo, ganeeban

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm an expert at quoting movies too. No one ever gets bothered by it. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Damn those milk crusties. Every. Time.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hah. I totally judge the popular posts on Bloglovin too! :) And I'm basically an expert in procrastination .. all day, every day.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is great -- I love your list! I can definitely attest to wasting time, finding the best chip in the Doritos bag, Facebook creeping, day dreaming, shoving things in small spaces, and a few others :D

    ReplyDelete