How To Be A Successful Blogger On Instagram

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

For starters, if you have an actual blog, get rid of it. Blogs are so yesterday. Words are so meh. It's all about photos and emojis now.

Like a fellow blogger just told me last week, "If you have a successful Instagram account, why do you even need a blog?" Right? Right. Said blogger has been blogging for at least four months so she has it all figured out.

You can't on a blog anyway, so there's really no point.

Let's start with some simple rules- your face should only show up in a photo two times (max) per week. And when it does, never look at the camera. Look up, look down, hell look in your pocket if you have to, just don't make eye contact. The best Instagrammers know that iphone cameras steal your soul if you make direct eye contact. That's why they're so damn good.

I've included a few tips for how to take the best selfie in the video provided.

*If you'd like to set up a one-on-one selfie consultation please email me, I'd be happy to help!

For all other face-less photos, here's a few poses I suggest.

The "look at the rings on my hands while they grab the collar of my shirt" pose.
For when you have to show the world your rings. And your collar.

The "there's flowers hiding my face" pose.
Where's your face? No one knows.

The "look at my lips and ends of my hair" pose.
A great close-up shot.

The "look at my wrist sitting in my lap" pose.
This is usually the correct time to use the phrase "#armcandy" or "#armbling." Just don't make the mistake of using "#fistfun" like I once did on accident. That hashtag has a completely different meaning.

The "look at the sunglasses I'm holding" pose.
Why aren't you wearing your sunglasses one might ask? Doesn't matter. Just hold them.

The "I'm drinking coffee" pose.
This one never gets old. Take it from every angle.

The "there's a mini aircraft hanging above me" pose. (As mentioned in the video.) This one is super hot right now. It's a great one when you want to give the illusion that someone is looking down on you. Like God or something. It's not easy though, trust me I've tried it.

And we'll finish with this classic. The timeless "look at my feet on my white bedding being all cute and feet like" pose.
So great, you guys. So damn great.

Just follow these steps and if you don't have 20k new Instagram followers within your first week you're doing something wrong.

@taylorgracewolfe (that's my Instagram handle.)

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  1. #1 I may or may not be guilty @ some of these but #2 I love you! Best post! So true! BTW - just don't get it!

  2. For one reason or another, I have felt especially snarky the past 24-48 hours. This post fits my mood perfectly. THANK YOU. From the bottom of my snarkyheart. PS .. #fistfun???? omg girl. Seriously. Save that for stuffing the turkey.

  3. "Nailed it." You are amazing! Actually, I'm sorry, Harlow's the star :). But you already knew that, I bet.

    Great rules, btw! Definitely sharing these. You missed the "look at my food/table setting/dinner date" selfie. Always a classic--an annoying one, but still.. very successful :/. The "plane hovering" one is fantastic! Hahaha

  4. i'm doing it all wrong. I KNEW IT. also i'd like to say that i clicked on the picture to hit play on the video, so I am feeling really good about myself.

  5. This is the best thing I've read and watched in a long time! Totally nailed it.

    I should have at least 20K followers by now because I have totally mastered the "baby bump" selfie. Sadly only 200 something people like to see my selfies! :)

    Also, I kept clicking on the photo and hitting play! I was getting so frustrated that nothing was happening. Total blonde moment!

  6. This is awesome and couldn't be more accurate!

    Love it!


  7. oh my god. #fistfun. I can only imagine, one time I sarcastically used #instagramaftermidnight I don't suggest that one either...

  8. so glad you're here to help us all out. I had no idea I was doing it wrong! LOL. best post all day. <3

  9. Every single thing you do should be a tutorial because DAYUM GURL you so know what's up. Sharing this on social today because let's face it (like a selfie, get it?), it's golden.


  10. HAHAHAHAHA You always make me do a spit take with your videos. I just love them. Nailed it!

  11. you are too funny! I was literally scrolling through instagram a minute ago and saw a few of these ...

  12. LOL #fistfun

    Omg such a great post, " iphone cameras steal your soul if you make direct eye contact" hahaha love it!!

  13. I have to admit, I am guilty of a couple of these. However, I've never mastered the "mini aircraft" shot. Maybe, with your encouragement, I can give it another shot.

  14. This is great I will be sure to use these to grow my insta fan base that currently consists of 8 people. I love the "look at my feet' Its a classic!

    Champagne and Pearls

  15. This is so hilarious! You almost don't know you're being comedic which makes it even more funny!

  16. this post had me cracking up!!

    xoxo liz

  17. But if we didn't have blogs we wouldn't have this hilarious post!