Showing Instagram To My 101 Year Old Grandma

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Why is this already happening? The leaves falling I mean. It's too soon.

And the blogger-girl inside me wants to photograph ALL OF IT. Everytime I look down and see my booties covered in leaves I have to use all my restraint not to Instagram it immediately #fall #leaves #omgbooties.  Anyone else ever catch themselves trying to snap a photo of something really stupid and cliche and you suddenly think why am I doing this? Why? Because it's trendy and maybe just maybe the people will like it.

The world of Instagram sometimes turns me into a person I'm not. I'm pretty secure with myself (I thought?) yet I find myself seeking validation (likes) from people I don't know... Why? What's wrong with me???

When I was back home a few weeks ago I was visiting my great grandma Grace (she's 101 years old) and I wanted to show her a photo of Harlow so I pulled up Instagram. In doing so, she happened to see some of the photos on my feed.

"What is that? Did you eat that?" she asked as she saw a photo of someone's oh so perfect breakfast parfait or fancy latte. I don't remember exactly. And does it really matter? No, not really.

"Nope, that's someone else's photo." I responded.

"So they just took a photo of their breakfast? Just because?" she asked.

"Uh yea, pretty much." I said.

"And you like to look at it?"

I sheepishly nodded. Because it's true. I do spend a large part of my day looking at.... well dumb photos on Instagram.

And then she looked at me with this expression on her face that still makes me laugh when I think about it. My grandma doesn't swear, but at that moment her face said what the f*&$ is that all about?

And then I realized that trying to explain Instagram to my 101 year old grandma is pointless. Because there isn't a point to it. She's 101 years old for God's sake, she's seen some shit. And not through a filter on an iPhone screen. She's never even been on the internet, but she's doing okay. Life goes on even if you can't see photos of bloggers feet in bed or dogs taking naps on the couch. cough cough Harlow. 

So occasionally when I get caught up in the world of photo sharing and photo liking and life comparing, I can't help but think of great grandma Grace and what she might think of it all. What would she say if I complained that one of my coffee photos didn't get more than 50 likes or a tweet that I thought was super funny didn't get a single RT?

I think of that look. That what the f*&$ is that all about look and I can't help but laugh at the silly world we live in today. Fun, yes. But very very silly.

And on that note FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM so you can see photos of Harlow wrapped in a blanket every single day. Because a dog under a blanket is just cute. I don't care who you are, that's instaworthy.

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A Weekend At Wonder Lake

Sunday, September 28, 2014

For as much as it sometimes sucks to be an adult, occasionally it has its perks too. Like for example when you can just load your car up with food, booze, and dogs and leave Chicago for the weekend to stay at a lake house with friends.

Thanks to the invite from Charlotte and Mike, that's exactly what we did on Friday. We left Chicago around 5 p.m. and made a quick pit stop in Buffalo Grove to grab the essentials: Cool Ranch Doritos, S'mores stuff, and beer, and arrived at our house for the weekend at Wonder Lake around 8:00 p.m. 

What followed that night was a lot of eating and drinking around the campfire before we all hit the hay around 2:00 a.m. 

And then Harlow ever so kindly woke me up around 6:30 a.m. with his face less than an inch from mine as if to say HEY GET UP WE'RE AT THE LAKE REMEMBER?! SO CAN WE GET UP NOW? NOW? HOW BOUT NOW? NOW? NOW? It always sounds like such a fun idea to bring Har. But sometimes he's worse than being on vacation with a toddler...

So here we are at the crack of dawn looking at the lake. Just to make sure it was still there.

And an hour later at 7:30 a.m. we are still sitting on the dock just staring. Or "enjoying" as Har would say.

But I'll admit, I'm kind of a sucker for an early morning by a lake. You just can't beat it.

And look how happy this guy is. We could never leave him behind.

At one point all of the girls took a boat ride (or at least we tried to) and we left the dogs at home with the boys. The dogs did not like this.

You can see George, Addison and Harlow all staring at us from the dock. This was shortly before Addison and Har just jumped in and tried to swim the boat down.

Just a quick "let's pretend we're not posed" posed photo.

And yes, Chris wears this shirt every Saturday. He's very superstitious about Nebraska football and this shirt has been deemed "lucky" this season...

Lake getaways are just the best, aren't they? I think once Chris and I are over the city thing we might move to the boonies and start a dog farm on a lake. I could totally be into that.

Let's just all keep this peaceful last image in our head as we go into another Monday morning... October is knocking on the door.

Hey blogger folk, you ready for Blogtober14 with Helene and I? First prompt on Wednesday is If I Won The Lottery... I'm really excited for this challenge, more excited than I thought I would be to blog every day in October. But I'm doing it! Are you in?

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My Bad Blogger Habits

Friday, September 26, 2014

Happy Friday everyone, it is finally here. Thank God. Did this week seem killer to anyone else? I felt like it was Wednesday for five days to me. 

Anyway, today I'm teaming up with the always awesome Kiersten from She Is Fierce  to bring you "My Bad Blogger Habits." 

1. Whenever I assume a post will take me less than an hour to write. (It never does.)

2. Waiting until the night before a post goes live to actually WRITE the post.

3. Saying yes to too much... everything. And then complaining when I'm overwhelmed.

4.  Not editing my posts. Like, at all.

5.  When it takes me 30 minutes to choose the perfect filter for Instagram. And then I immediately regret it.

6. Getting excited about too much free stuff. And then hating myself when I have all sponsored posts to write in one week... 

7. Not paying the slightest bit of attention to Google+ and Facebook - does anyone really even USE them?

8.  Not having the slightest idea what SEO means or is.

9.  Using my dog to take fashion pics with me.

10.  Not knowing how to speak the language that is HTML.

11. Never posting at the same time. (I've heard consistently is supposed to be good...)

12. Updating my design constantly - seriously. I just had Whitney from I Wore Yoga Pants to Work do one like two months ago, and I already just had a new one done by Ashley at The Grits Blog.

13. Staying up too late reading other blogs when I should just go to bed already.

14.  Buying sponsorship packages pretty much indiscriminately, despite knowing that I should pay more attention to what it is that I'm buying.

15. Trying to pose the perfect photos on Instagram that always end up looking dumb anyway.

16.  Resorting to Unsplash for photos rather than going out and taking the photos myself.

17. Scanning the popular posts on Bloglovin and getting annoyed I didn't write those posts.

18.  Saving about a hundred blogging tutorials and tips on Pinterest, and never reading any of them until months later.

19.  Starting a TON of posts in draft format, and never finishing them to publish

20. Worrying too much about everything. This is blogging after all. It's supposed to be fun. I think.

And on that note, I'm skipping town for the next few days to head to cabin up north with some friends, some booze and some dogs. I am so excited. I've packed Harlow's Husker sweater and Bears jersey. It's going to be a great weekend. Hope yours is as well!

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What's Popular In Blogging Right Now- According To Bloglovin

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Sometimes when I'm lacking inspiration I'll scan the popular posts section of Bloglovin just to see what the cool kids are writing about. And almost always after doing so I'm instantly reminded why my posts rarely show up on the All Category Popular Posts. For starters, I don't have 20k followers on Bloglovin, my photos don't look professional, and I don't enjoy making pumpkin spice funnel cakes from scratch. I enjoy eating funnel cakes, that is true, but only when they're served to me from a one toothed carny named "Tug" at the D.C. Lynch Carnival located in the Sunset Plaza parking lot in Norfolk, Nebraska.

But I digress.

Right now at this very minute, this is what is popular in blogland according to Bloglovin. So take notes, blog friends. Because if you suck, these posts can help.

How To Make Food posts.
About 80% of the popular posts are recipes. Understandably so, people will always love food.  But the thing that gets me is that some of these food posts aren't REAL food. The Perfect Tasting Kale Chip? Nothing about that sentence makes sense. There is no such thing as the perfect tasting kale chip. The Kale Chip That Tastes Least Like Shit would be more applicable.

Pumpkin Pecan Apple Spice Nutmeg Crumbled Granola. Who has time to make their own granola? WHO? Why not save some time and money and invite me over to your house and then I'll just beat you over the head with several granola bars. Within minutes you'll have a nice full bowl of crumbled"homemade" granola.

Chai Latte Sweet Potato Pumpkin Flavored Cupcake. Let's get really crazy and just have a pumpkin flavored pumpkin recipe.

How To Transition To Autumn Makeup posts.
I had no idea these beauty posts were so popular. But according to Bloglovin, they are. Before I transition to autumn, perhaps I should transition to 2014. I'm still using the same eye shadow pack I got in 2012 when it was on sale after summer... I should probably be reading more of these beauty posts.

My makeup look is typically whichever eye shadow looks the least scary. But after I run out of the good solid golds and browns, I'll start using those scary blues and dark greys. I'm not just going to let them go to waste, am I?

How To Wear A Chunky Sweater posts.
You just do, right? Wrong. Turns out there are specific ways this fall to wear a chunky sweater.  My thought process was, hey I'm feeling chunky right now, better put on a chunky sweater. But that's not how it works. You have to wear them with skinny skinny pants and chunky healed ankle boots and a floppy hat with huge sunglasses. The goal is to make yourself completely disappear apparently.

I just bought a great chunky sweater at Urban the other and when I tried it on for Chris he looked at it and said, well it's not very flattering. Duh Chris, that's why it's called chunky. Get with it.

How To Go Apple Picking posts.
Apple picking is all the rage right now. If you haven't done it, just stop blogging right now. Go get some kids and some chunky sweaters and some flannels and go pick some damn apples already.

Run through the fields, kiss some scarecrows and just let your freak flag fly at the apple farm. Apple farms are so hot right now.

How To Wear A Hat posts.
Finally! Am I right? If you were confused like I was, just find one of these great tutorial posts (Bloglovin has quite a few) and let this great mystery stump you no more!

Wearing a hat doesn't have to be like playing a Rubix cube! You can do it. Just face your fear and you'll see how silly it was all along.

There you have it, just a few things that are trending in blogland right now.

And make sure to follow me on Bloglovin here. Duh.

Okay byeeeeee.

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A Weekend Back In Lincoln Land

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

It's taken me roughly four days to recover from my trip to Lincoln Land last week. It's Wednesday evening and my body still feels a little tired from the shenanigans that happened on Saturday. Wanna know how you can tell you're old? Because a hangover lasts three days.

Oh but it was worth it. The pain that follows the joy of Lincoln Land is always worth it.

The moment Chris and I pulled into Lincoln around 5 p.m. on Friday evening we looked at each other and said "this weekend is going to go way too fast." And it did. A game day weekend back home with college pals always does. Because for twenty four hours we're allowed to time travel to a simpler moment in our lives where the only thing that matters is which bar we are going to drink at and which tailgate we are going to stop by. For twenty four hours we get to remember what it's like to be surrounded by all our favorite people. Rather than going out and knowing just a small handful, we know every one. And we're all so genuinely happy to be drinking in each other's company.

It's Lincoln Land. That's just how it goes. I don't normally take shots of Sambuca. But in Lincoln Land I do. I don't normally high five strangers on the street. But in Lincoln Land I do.

The fun began Friday night when I told jokes at Duffys. Before the show I went upstairs into the "Duffys Greenroom" and met Chris Reid, the guy I was opening for. Reid just happened to be texting his bestie, Dave Chappelle. No big deal. "You know how it is," he said to me, truly believing I actually knew how it was, "we all know each other in the biz." Totally, I lied. I know Chappelle. Ha.

The show was ... good. I think. I was hot as hell under those lights and every time I made eye contact with someone I knew a little part of me wanted to go hide in the corner. Are they laughing? Are they judging? What is going on? Why do I insist on putting myself through this weird shit? I thought to myself through out the entire 25 minute set. Did I mention I did a 25 minute set?! That is a longggg time to be up there.

But I lived and was so happy to see everyone that came out. My Nebraska people are good folk. Except for the Nebraska assholes that towed my car Friday night around 12:30 a.m. That was not a good moment. Still a little salty about that... But I suppose it just wouldn't be a real Lincoln night if I didn't get towed.

Saturday morning the Lincoln Land fun got started bright and early. We went to my brother's house for Bloodys around 11 a.m. And of course I outfitted everyone in Talk Herbie To Me gear.

All shirts found here.

I learned the hard way that bangs are not good for game days. I just asked Chris if I should get them trimmed again and he said, "I like your bangs. But I also liked you before the bangs. Just a little better." So that settles that. 

After Jordan's we rendezvoused downtown and I was amazed to see all the changes around Lincoln that had taken place in my absence. Chipotle is no longer the only restaurant downtown. De'Leons can't be found anymore. And the Rail bathrooms are clean now! The mysterious water that always lined the floor is no more. And they even got fancy and put mirrors inside the bathroom stalls, so now you can watch yourself go to the bathroom. Perhaps that explains why the mysterious water has disappeared...

We made pit stops at The Bar (they put bacon in their Bloodys now woo!) the Downtown, the Rail, the Tavern, and we even ventured into the new Rail Yard. I know that place is great for Lincoln, but it's not my scene. If I wanted to go to Power and Light I'd go to Power and Light.

But the best moment of the trip was the game. To be honest, the game is usually my least favorite part of a game day. But Saturday night was different for some reason. The stadium felt more alive than it has in years.

Photo stolen from Sam Major. 

And after our great win against Miami, down town Lincoln felt like Mardi Gras. Everyone was in full blown Lincoln Look (red faced and very sweaty.) But it was wonderful. It felt like home.

We ended the night at Lazarris and Amigos and I slept like a baby dreaming that I was covered in crisp meats and spicy chicken pizza.

And that's what I love about Lincoln. I get older, but it stays the same age.

See you next year, Lincoln Land.

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How I Thought My Life Would Be In My Late Twenties Thanks To Friends

Twenty years ago this week, Friends made its debut on television. That seems crazy to me. I can remember living for Thursday nights at 7 p.m. when the new episodes were on. Like most people, I was in love with show.

I was probably younger than the average demographic, but I've always thought of myself as on old soul so I could totally laugh at all of the naughty adult jokes. But in all honesty, it was probably the dumbest jokes of that show that I loved the most- Chandler and his W.E.N.I.S. I still laugh when I say wenis. It's just a funny word. Joey and the mmm... noodle soup, I mean soup! I mean noodle soup!  I think of it every time I go into an audition.

But what Friends really did for me as a child was set up very false expectations for how I thought life in my late twenties would be. And I love them for it. False expectations are what make life interesting.

First of all, I just assumed every girl in their late twenties had three best guy friends. And I couldn't wait to get mine! I was never the super cool chill girl in high school all the guys wanted to hang out with, but I was certain I would magically turn into that girl in my late twenties once I found my Joey, Chandler, and Ross. Hasn't happened for me yet...

And then there was the whole coffee shop hang out, Central Perk. So all late twenty-somethings go straight to a coffee shop every day after work to hang out? So awesome! I was about seven or eight and hadn't been introduced to alcohol yet, so naturally a coffee shop after work full of delicious muffins and scones sounded amazing to me at that time. But now that I'm in my late twenties, I want to know how Chandler and Ross and Monica and Rachel (the four with presumably "normal-ish jobs") had the time and energy to go to a coffee shop right after work. Why didn't they just want to go straight home and put on old sweat pants and bury their face in the couch and a bowl full of Cheez-Its? Or at the very least just go to a dark bar and toss back a few? Anything but the bright and lively place that was Central Perk. Or perhaps I'm just being a cynical late twenty year old right now.

As for their jobs.... Naturally I assumed I would be a buyer for Bloomingdales like Rachel. Never mind that I don't actually know anything about fashion besides what I like, it just seemed like a cool job. And I know we saw a few of them lose their job a time or two (I think) but what I don't recall is ever seeing them stay in bed for days at a time after the fact. Or at the very least call and cry to their parents about how confused and lost they feel every day. (I don't ever do that...)

And hey, if my job as a buyer fell through I could always be an actor like Joey. Remember when Joey got an ad as the STD poster boy and it seemed so embarrassing and awful? I would kill to land an ad like that today. I honestly would. His face was everywhere! You can't beat that exposure as an actor. You gotta start somewhere.

Remember when we all thought apartments in NYC were just like the Friends set? That was fun. Let's go back to that time in life when I assumed all New York apartments were massive and all dorm rooms were just like the ones from Save By The Bell the college years. I remember thinking Joey and Chandler's apartment across the hall was icky, I'm pretty sure to have that icky apartment you'd have to be a millionaire. And to have Rachel and Monica's you'd have to be a trillionaire.

Never the less, I still long to someday have a door with a picture frame around my peep hole.

All in all, Friends made me believe my greatest worry in my late twenties would be dating. Forget student loans, or finding a good job, or being able to pay rent every month, going out on dates (and not ending up in lingerie in front of your boyfriend's parents) is the only thing to worry about. If you can figure that out, everything else in life will be okay.

Does that seem like something you can do, DOES IT?

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I'm a Graduate!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

sterling dress found here. and it's only $12 now!

I keep telling myself as soon as things slow down I'll jump back into my normal blogging routine. The routine where I get to sit and ponder thoughts for a good hour or two and really relax into my post where I get to ramble on about trips to Ikea or Target. But life doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon. I am running on fumes right now. I don't even know what that means, but I heard someone say it once and it just felt right. There are definitely fumes surging through me.

Last night I had my graduation party at the Second City. After our final shows the directors brought out pitchers of beer and pizza and we danced on the stage like the crazy group that we are. So yes, I am officially a graduate of the Second City Conservatory program. I'm a professional improviser if you will. We shall add this lofty degree next to my English and Creative Writing degree...

I remember last year when I found out that I had gotten into the program, I was as excited as a little comedian could be. I think I read the email over and over about fifty times. And suddenly one year later I'm already finished with it. I'm hoping that by the time I finish this post someone from my class will have shared photos I can grab, but given the fact that when I left the party last night around 1:30 a.m. and was the first to go, I think my fellow students will be sleeping for awhile. Those kids sure do like to party.

As soon as the Cool Ranch Doritos were gone I took it as my cue to go. I snuck out the back door ever so quietly like I do. You know that friend you have who likes to just leave places without telling anyone? That's me. I Houdini all the time. It's a terrible habit to get into, but I just hate good-byes. Especially last night, the good-byes might have been a little too sad for me. I've been collaborating and creating with these people for more than a year now and suddenly we're not going to be seeing each other every single Monday for five hours at a time. How will we all complain to each other about how tired we are and how much we hate our jobs and how scared we are about our future and when will we really make it... Or will we make it?

It always kinda sucks when that happens, when people come in and out of your life. I guess the ones that stay are there for a reason. But I have a feeling I'll be working with quite a few of these talented people very soon. They're just too funny not to keep around.

At one point I looked around the room and kind of had this silly realization that I was living my Rent dream. I know it sounds weird, but I've always had this obsession with the musical, Rent. (I mean besides the whole HIV and drugs part.) Ever since I saw the musical on stage, and then the movie (which I also loved) I've always secretly wanted to have my own group of eclectic creative friends. You know, where we all go out to dinner at 3 a.m. and are loud and annoying and just start singing La Vie Boheme out of nowhere. I mean they'd sing and I'd just watch because I'm not that fun, but still.

Still, it's been a wonderful two years at Second City.  Like anything in my life, I have no idea what will come from this or what my next step is. But hey, at least I met a ton of new awesome people. I mean look at us, one of these mugs is gonna make it.
Connor and Ashley, if you're reading this you were greatly missed. But we can do it all over again when you get back! Sketch Fest 2015 here we come! White Cougar Passion for ever!!!

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Doing Stand Up In Norfolk

Friday, September 19, 2014

*photo not from last night. too lazy to get current photos.

Let's time travel back to last night for a second.

As a last minute decision, I had agreed to be "the entertainment" for a Norfolk realtor board dinner. And no, I didn't really know what a realtor board dinner was either, but they said they'd pay me so I said sure, I'll tell some jokes. My sister is a realtor and she told me it would be a "young-ish crowd."

"Youngish" to her is apparently a loose term. When I walked inside the Norfolk Country Club last night I didn't see anyone under the age of... not young-ish. Which is totally fine, I'll tell jokes to anyone. However some of the things I reference, like Full House or Facebook for example, might not hit so well. And in hindsight, telling jokes at a country club in general might be a red flag. I prefer a dark seedy bar full of drunk people. But like I said, they were paying me. Comedians don't turn down paying gigs. They don't turn down any gig.

When I sat down at the table the first thing the older man sitting next to me said was, "So you're the entertainment huh? Well tell us some jokes." Dance for us, monkey! Dance! I love when people tell me to do that. Just love it. Anyway, he was actually a really nice guy and had experience telling some jokes himself. He told me just a few weeks ago he'd gotten in trouble for telling a few "questionable" stories at their annual church get together...

As soon as he said church jokes I started to get very nervous.

And I knew my jokes might not hit so well with this crowd. I'm not a raunchy comedian by any means, but I am a fan of the dark arts. The darkest jokes are my favorites. I've tried to stray, but I can't. The heart wants what the heart wants.

But tonight I needed to re-think my plan. So I quickly began rewriting my set in my head, trying to make it as PG as possible. Norfolk people are wonderful people, don't get me wrong. But they are a bit more conservative than your average crowd that goes to a comedy club in Chicago. At one point in my set last nigh I started talking about how I think it's wonderful gay people can marry each other and I actually saw one woman shake her head at me and flare her nostrils.

But I continued on never the less.

In the end, I think it went okay. I didn't give the crowd enough credit. Besides a few sticklers, they all had a really good sense of humor. My biggest fan was the 85 year old man who sat at my table who I think could have gotten up and told his own slew of dirty jokes for a good thirty minutes or so. And I also managed to book events in every small town surrounding Norfolk... Looks like my dream of doing a comedy tour across Nebraska might actually come true.

It's a weird feeling though, walking into a room of people and knowing it's your job to tell jokes and make them laugh. I can't wait to do it again tonight in Lincoln at Duffys and open for CHRIS REID. I put them in caps to make sure you can capture my excitement.

Have a good Friday. I'll be embarking for Lincoln in about five hours. I can't wait to see my pals, it's been to long. I'm ready to get Lincoln'd.

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These Boots

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

*This is sponsored post by BeachMint
Ricki Boots Found at ShoeMint. Read on for a chance to win your own Ricki Boots!

All of the sudden this week is turning out to be a little crazier than I originally thought it would be. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I'm had to head back to Nebraska a little sooner than planned because I picked up a last minute stand-up show and because I have to go back and mail about 300 Talk Herbie To Me shirts before the big Miami game on Saturday.

Speaking of that Miami game... I am beyond excited to get back to my old stomping grounds in Lincoln for the weekend. I haven't been back in more than a year and I can just feel it's going to be a great weekend. Other than the comedy show I just mentioned above that I picked up, I'm also doing stand-up for the first time in Lincoln at Duffy's Bar at 7 p.m. on Friday. Doing stand-up is kinda scary, doing stand-up in front of people you know is really scary. I haven't been this nervous for a show in a long time. And it doesn't help my nerves that I'm opening for this guy.

His name is Chris Reid and he's a really established comedian, made famous for his work in Kid N' Play back in the 90s. So what I'm saying is Friday is going to be a great night. If you're in the Lincoln area you should probably make your way to Duffys at 7 p.m. The best part is the show is free, no tickets necessary.

And to top it all off fall arrived with a vengeance in Chicago last week. I wasted no time in putting on my brand spanking new Ricki Riding Boots I just got from ShoeMint. I may love summer but I live for boot season. I love the way a good pair of boots can totally make an outfit.

I am over the moon with these boots and how comfortable they are. I also love the details in the buckles and the heel. Living in Chicago I need boots that aren't just cute, they have to be able to take some miles as well. I usually wear my boots down to the bone and I know these won't be any different.

ShoeMint is a seriously awesome members-only (but free) website. They add new styles every month and shipping/returns are always free. I've ordered a few pairs of shoes from ShoeMint and they're always really high quality, but very affordable. If you're a new user you can actually receive $40 off your first pair by clicking here.  Just a forewarning, they have more than thirty styles to choose from it might take you a while to pick out your first pair.

ShoeMint is actually giving one lucky reader a FREE pair of shoes! Just click here and sign up for ShoeMint (it's completely free, no obligation to buy), and then comment back here what your favorite pair of shoes is.

Good luck! Tis the season for shoe shopping!

Staying On Course

It's roughly 1:00 a.m., I'm leaving for Nebraska in about four hours and I am yet to sleep.

It's because it's Monday night (well now technically Tuesday morning) and I had my show at Second City a mere few hours ago. I've learned by now that I can't ever sleep after a show, so most times I don't even try. I've also figured out why so many comedians and performers drink so much every night, it's because you have to if you want any chance of going to bed. It's damn hard coming down off of that high.

Tonight was a good show. The crowd was into it. The tampon jokes were killing. The homo-erotic lines were spot on. It was just a great night that was over in the blink of an eye.

Whenever I get done with a good show I catch myself thinking how I wish I could do this every night. But of course everyone on that Second City stage tonight thinks that. That's why we're all there, after all. The shitty truth is that the percentage of us who will actually figure out a way to get paid to do comedy is slim to none. We've all picked a pretty hard industry to try to excel in, damn it.

Today SNL announced they hired a twenty year old comedian to their line-up and it sent my Facebook world into a shit storm. All of the comedians I'm virtual friends with seemed to have an opinion about this, most of them being negative. Why? Because as comedians we're all just a bunch of insecure little assholes sometimes. And I mean that in the most lovingly way possible. Why else would we feel the need to get on a stage with a mic and beg people to laugh us? Like me!!! Like me!!!

So it only makes sense that when we see a twenty year old get hired to do something like SNL it's a tough pill to swallow. Because it reminds all of us that we're not getting hired by SNL.

But Pete Davidson (the guy they hired) is so damn good you just gotta swallow that pill anyway. If you like stand-up, you should google him and watch some of his videos. When you get discovered that young there's a reason for it.

And when you're still twenty-seven writing dear diary blog posts at 1:00 a.m. with a plate full of homemade nachos in your lap, there's a reason for that as well... You've gotten a little bit off course. And you might also be kind of a loser. So stop eating your feelings and go write a book or something.

And this is why I shouldn't write posts at 1:00 a.m. because it's just turned into a ramble. Okay, thanks for listening. I'm going to sign off now and catch up on some baby reveal videos I've missed on Facebook this past week. What's it going to be..... BOY or GIRL? The suspense makes me giddy every time.

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The Birthday Diva

Sunday, September 14, 2014

And the award for the biggest birthday diva goes to Harlow. This past weekend he had more sass and energy than ever before. And he wanted to make damn sure everyone knew it was birthday. 

It all started Saturday morning at the Chicago Canine Rescue. Before we even pulled up to the registration booth he was already bouncing off the walls and howling at the top of his lungs, bragging about how he was going to win the whole thing. He was being so arrogant, it was embarrassing.

He also demanded birthday cupcakes from every single booth. This was the first treat.

And the second.

And the third. He nearly took off Chris's hand with this one.

When the race began Harlow almost missed the starting line because he was too busy looking for treats.

Let's just say some of the heats were slower than the others...

And of course he had to stop at every turn to drink the complimentary beer people were handing out... So no, Harlow didn't win the race. It's hard to win a race when you insist on stopping every ten feet to take a bathroom break or to go up to every stranger you see to have your butt rubbed.

After the race Harlow met Manny the famous Frenchie. Manny was made for the stage as you can see.

In case you don't know, Manny's a French Bulldog who has about 600k followers on Instagram. Harlow was jealous as hell of this guy.

We pulled him away before things got ugly.

But my favorite part of the day was probably when all of the rescue owners and their rescue pups got together to take an "alumni photo." Kinda sad to think that if not for these kind people, a lot of these dogs probably wouldn't be around today.

Harlow the diva was not a rescue dog. But someday when we have a bigger house and a bigger yard I definitely hope to get Harlow a rescue brother or sister. We'll call him or her Harvey.

And for one final birthday treat Harlow got a peanut butter and (faux) chocolate doggy cake. Although I'm not sure he even tasted it because he ate the entire thing in one quick gulp.

It was a good weekend. Per the usual, I'm not ready at all for Monday to roll around. Woof.

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