5 Things You Should Know Before Your Wedding NO ONE Will Tell You

Monday, January 12, 2015


Did you know there is an entire section on Pinterest dedicated to "Wedding Nails?" There's even a section called "Engaged Nails." I searched for "Girlfriend Nails," but I couldn't find much so someone should probably get on that.

This past weekend I read a bridal magazine for the first time in my life. I've honestly never even opened one before- that is until Sunday. It was... interesting. Who knew there could be so many styles of wedding dresses? I'm not sure if it's because I've been blogging too long and have surrounded myself with the Mormon culture, but I was continually drawn to the most modest dresses. Long sleeves? Yes please! High neckline? You betcha. I would call my wedding style at this point "1930s grandma meets lace."

The magazine also gave me "857 stylish ideas + creative details" you know, for the other stuff that goes into a wedding beside just a dress. That's about 854 too many for me.

I got overwhelmed with the magazine so I decided to get back on Pinterest.

Terrible idea. Pinterest is just one giant bridal magazine. I clicked on one post called "Things You Should Know Before Your Wedding That NO ONE Tells You." Holy shit, I thought. This is probably full of wonderful secret info, good thing I found it now. Let's look at some of the most useful tips:

1. Wedding dresses can get hot.

What? No way! I would have never guessed this one, especially with the fully covered dresses I seem to like. Thanks for sharing, fairy weddingmother!

2. You need to stay hydrated.

Again, mind --> blown! I wrote this one down to make sure I don't forget it.

3. Tone your arms and back.

Now I know I've never heard this one before. What next? I suppose you're going to tell me to lose weight as well for the big day?

4. Use Pinterest for inspiration not imitation.

I feel like the writer of this Pinterest post just went metta.

5. Make sure you really like your photographer.

So I shouldn't hire an asshole? Good stuff, thanks.

And now you know why I didn't link this post. However if you're the writer of it I'd just like to say thanks for sharing your awesome tips! Well done.

Have you planned a wedding? Can you help me? This is not my thing. I'm yet to create a wedding board on Pinterest because I keep getting stuck on the what I should name the board. I want it to be clever and funny, but also a little sweet and sentimental.

And no, we haven't set a date. It took us 7 years to get engaged. Give us a few years to figure out the next steps. We don't like to rush into anything.


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64 comments:

  1. I didn't use Pinterest at all for our wedding and I recommend you don't! Just do things the way you guys like it, make sure you invite the family members you have to make the necessary people happy, plan out your favorite songs so you have a blast, and get your fav food and (obvs) open bar! Wedding planning sucks in my opinion so try to keep it as fun as possible! (Even if that means day drinking during the planning process)

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  2. Pinterest wasn't around {or at least I wasn't aware of it..} when I got married. Sure there's things I've seen now that I wish I would've known to do {like instead of a traditional guest book - have your guests sign Jenga pieces - how fun!}, but I survived without it and still got married just fine.

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  3. LOL, WOW those tips are mind-blowing! What will they think of next?? ;)

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  4. If I had it to do all over again, I would have included parents and siblings at a private ceremony for vows and then met everyone else at the reception for a huge party!

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  5. The wedding is one day, your marriage is forever. Do what makes you two happy, don't try to please everyone, cos its impossible, arrange for one or two good friends (or a planner) to look after details on the day so you don't have to. And then there are the silly things, try to eat something the morning of the wedding....you will be excited but champagne on empty stomach, not good.

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  6. Haha these are all SO UNIQUE AND NEW. It will probably be a few years before any of my close friends get married (aka a few years until I'm around the real planning of a wedding), and I'm kinda grateful for that - a few more years before I need to dive into The Ultimate Wedding Magazine that is Pinterest weddings.

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  7. I did use Pinterest when I planned my wedding (I got married on 4/26/14) but you have to be careful with it. A little Pinspiration goes a loooong way. My favorite wedding site was http://apracticalwedding.com - it was a sanity saver!!

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  8. That's good you haven't set a date! I'm not engaged yet but I'm surrounded by at least 10 of my close friends who are engaged. I'm shocked to see that most of these girls pull together all this information in 5 months or less! All though, I do have a secret pinterest wedding board...

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  9. So I was engaged for 8 years and 7 months, lol , so I consider myself an expert at being engaged :o) The key, don't waste time on the silly details that don't matter, because the one thing that will go wrong is what you spend the most time on....in my case the stupid favors that the venue didn't put out, I didn't even notice until the very end of the night. NO ONE else cared or noticed. And after a year of working out, those yummy chocalates I binged on for the next 3 months went really well with all the left over cake! haha.

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  10. I'm such a terrible bride-to-be. People always want to talk to me about the wedding, and I have nothing for them. When I first got engaged I looked at Pinterest for a couple of days before I realised that it was just one long, picture-filled list of things I could never afford to do (And I'm also really not that bothered about mason jars, which doesn't help). I get super-overwhelmed super-quickly when I think about wedding stuff in general. I have a magazine which I bought in September, but it's sealed in a plastic bag and I haven't managed to bring myself to open it yet... I just want people to see me looking hot in a dress, and I'm not so worried beyond that. I'm looking forward to the marriage way more than the wedding.

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  11. These are the BEST tips ever! Ugh I would NEVER have thought wedding dresses could be hot! I mean no, not after wearing 5 prom dresses that are just as huge. I planned my brother and sister-in-law's wedding while she was finishing up school and it was awesome! I didn't use a lot of Pinterest but it was helpful at times. Keep yourself organized and only do what you and Chris want to do, don't feel like you have to please anyone but yourselves. This is your guys' day, not anyone else's so stay true to yourselves. Also, don't let anyone sway you to do something you don't like or want to do, it will not end well in the long run! Happy planning! So excited for you on this journey!

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  12. I'm glad you wrote these down- don't forget to put little notes in your planner to remind yourself so you won't forget.

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  13. Wedding planning is the worst. My advice is make your mom do it for you. That's what I did and at the end of the day I still got married, which is all that mattered.

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  14. One Word: ELOPE. It was the best thing ever because I didn't have to worry about pleasing anyone but the groom and the bride. I wasn't self conscious about my dress, I didn't have to spend a ton of money to feed people I barely know and if something went wrong, it was easy to fix because it was simple and low key! We eloped, and then celebrated with our family afterward by getting them drunk so they didnt care that they were left out! :)

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  15. Gosh, I can only imagine how much better my wedding would have been if I had remembered to drink water. In seriousness, the best wedding advice I can give is to take pictures before the ceremony because then you have lots of time to be all lovely without missing any of the drinking. Best choice we made.

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  16. I still have flashbacks.... the colors. the hair. the dresses. the food. the place settings. the damn cost of it all. My advice is make it as miserable for yourself as possible. It will encourage you to not to ever want to do it again. Oh, and get cake pops. Good luck! :)

    -Dorrie @ Bear Den Plantation

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  17. Ah common sense. Do you think people actually need to be reminded of these things? Like the first one for example, if you're getting married on a beach in July you don't pick a dress made up of 50 pounds of satin.

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  18. hahaha!! So funny! Yeah, some of the "tips" they give are mostly common sense and silly. I didn't even know Pinterest existed when I was getting married. I'm luckily a crafty person so I made a lot of the decor myself.

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  19. I used to be bummed that Pinterest came out right AFTER I got married....but i think you just changed my mind. Also, i hear you're supposed to like the guy you marry...but that seems kinda silly, so do what you think is best.

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  20. My husband and I got engaged after 7 years too! I mean, if Kate Middleton could wait nine...

    Then BOOM my husband and I planned a wedding, simple, nice, us(mostly pinterest free) and got married in under 8 months.

    It can be as simple or as complicated as the two of you want! Start with budget, guest list number, place...and the rest begins to fall into place :)

    CONGRATS and Good luck!

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  21. Don't stop believing is the only song that MUST be played. Drink a lot. Eat pizza while getting ready.

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  22. Eloping would be awesome.... but it wasn't a choice for us. So I'm knee deep in wedding planning and everyone keeps asking if it's finished (I have 54 days) and I'm nowhere close... so I simply smile and say, "not yet!" and keep truckin. The thing I have probably used the most is the knot's budgeter... it's helped give me a reasonable idea of where I should be with each cost.

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  23. Pinterest helped me think of some fun stuff for our wedding, but dear God, some of the posts go so far overboard. Just plan a day that makes you and Chris happy; for example, you two need a bloody Mary bar. Really badly.

    My friend recently got engaged and I made a laminated card for her that says, "It's our fucking day, we're going to do what we want" so she can whip that out whenever people are being annoying. If you can somehow find a reception venue that allows you to bring in your own booze, DO IT! We bought a ton of booze at CostCo and a liquor store and you can usually return anything that is unopened. It saved us a ton of money but still allowed us to have an open bar for our rowdy Irish Catholic crowd.

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  24. I have that magazine....it was a waste of my $6.99. In fact I put it in the recycling bin this morning because I didn't get a damn bit of good advice from it. Seeing as how I am the best damn bridesmaid around... eight times and counting...I am basically going to compile all the previous weddings I've been in, remember their freak out moments, and try not to do that. So if you would like access to my "database" I will share with you hahahahaha! The best thing that I have done thus far is hire a wedding planner, I would recommend it. Oh and yes, stay hydrated, with champagne of course ;)

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  25. I think someone said it before me, but using Pinterest is such a double edged sword. Ultimately, I just did what we wanted and use Pinterest for ideas on things we were neutral about--it worked in our favor because it was THE BEST DAY EVER! Also, I think I drank more tequila from mini Patron bottles than I did water. Just my two cents, of course ;)

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  26. I got married right before Pinterest weddings became a big thing. I'm glad. There's so much pressure now to get married in a beautiful barn with burlap and mason jar bouquets. Or something. I'm still new to the Pinterest train. My biggest suggestion is to do whatever makes you happy (and if it's burlap and mason jars power to you) without freaking out. It's a day. It's a great day to celebrate with friends and family, but still a day.

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  27. I am so happy Pinterest was not around for my wedding. I would have gone crazy. My advice, pay people to do things for you, DIY is totally over rated, don't do wedding favors, unless it's candy that they can eat while waiting for dinner (cause for some reason at weddings it takes forever to get the food served), what wedding favor do you ever remember? None, so save yourself the time. Print up menus to leave at their place if you want something to put on the plate. And last piece of advice, just interview at the most 3 of everything, 3 photographers, 3 DJ's, you'll always be able to find someone better, blah blah blah, that's what we did and it worked out great. A wedding is a day, a marriage is a life time. Concentrate on that. :) Good luck!

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  28. I did a bunch of planning before we decided to just simplify and elope. My favorite resource was A Practical Wedding. Lots of tips for simplifying, saving money, and some common sense (albeit a little more well-thought out than your Pinterest friend).

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  29. I loved planning my wedding. Happy to help in any way!

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  30. I have no idea if I will ever get married, but if I do, I don't know how I could ever do it without these amazing tips....

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  31. Ugh, weddings are CRAZY! I still kind of wish we had eloped and did a beach wedding. The little details all add up and then it is over in like 5 HOURS and wondering what the heck happened. Shoot, I hope that didn't scare you;) ELOPE!

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  32. We toured our first venue yesterday and I wanted to hide under the covers for the rest of time. Did you ever think about LIGHTING for your wedding? Have you ever been asked about CHAIRS as much in your life? I think the wedding venue man threw up in his mouth a little when I told him I hadn't "picked colors" yet.

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  33. THIS SO MUCH. I just got married and I wish someone would have told me that wedding dresses, no matter how light and airy they seem, still get effing hot. Also, yes to Pinterest. I had nightmares that my wedding would not be pinterest perfect and guess what? It wasn't. But that's okay.
    Beardy Heart Beauty

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  34. Just decide to head down to the court house on a Friday afternoon around lunch like we did, then have lunch with your parents :) Easiest wedding ever! Send out announcements after the fact.

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  35. A Practical Wedding (http://wwww.apracticalwedding.com) was my sanity saving wedding website. Avoid The Knot, Hundred Layer Cake, or any other bullshit that tells you that you need to have a $5000 gown to have a great wedding. I did use Pinterest, but mainly to store ideas that I liked. I saved money by ordering my centerpiece flowers from Blooms by the Box and arranging them myself (white hydrangeas + glass cubes with ribbon... done). We didn't have hard liquor, just wine and beer. We decided early on that we wanted to spend the bulk of our budget on photography and food, and I HIGHLY recommend hiring a day of coordinator. She was worth her weight in gold, and I didn't have to worry about a single thing that day. Good luck! I'm sure your wedding will be gorgeous and exactly what you want it to be.

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  36. I've decided Pinterest is evil... For wedding planning atleast. I can't look at another mason jar, sun flower, burlap wrapped wedding. To quote Phaedra Parks, "Jesus help us!". I've got the important things done. Music. Open bar. Dress. Priorities I tell ya, and I got engaged on Christmas Eve! I will say the best tip I've heard is to determine what is most important to you and what you are willing to spend more money on. We don't care about flowers but definitely want beer and wine. Also, make a guest list before anything, everywhere will ask. And get ready to get a flood of crap emails!

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  37. I received a piece of advice from a friend who married a year before my wedding. He said, "You're going to get a lot of people wanting this and that, giving you advice on what you should and shouldn't do. Remember it is your day, so do whatever the f@#k you want!" Seriously it helped me out a lot when people criticized some of the choices I made.

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  38. Sorry if this is a repeat comment! My biggest piece of advice is: do whatever the hell you want. You're going to have a lot of input from a lot of people about what is "best" or what you "should do" for your wedding, but my stance on that is, if they aren't paying for it then they don't really get a say (unless of course you've asked for their opinion). I saw that another commenter said be sure to invite family.... I will disagree here a little, and say invite whoever you want to be at your wedding. Whether that's only immediate family, extended family, or a mix of both family and friends. We knew we wanted to have a small wedding, and we did not invite Great Aunt Bessie that we hadn't seen in 10+ years because it was more important to us to have our close family/friends present, instead of inviting who we were "supposed to". My in-laws weren't too happy, at first, but they ended up being okay with it - especially since they weren't footing the majority of the bill.

    Lastly, screw Pinterest, The Knot, and any other wedding website/magazine/person that tells you you "have to" do certain things. You can do whatever the hell you want - it's your day!

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  39. Welll I'm not sure if this is the best piece of advice but after 6 years of dating and one year of being engaged, the man and I decided to elope because to us, making a big deal to celebrate our future anniversaries was/is way more important than making a big deal about our one wedding day, if that makes any sense. Ultimately tho, do whatever makes you happy and less stressed :)

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  40. I've been meaning to start planning our wedding but I get so overwhelmed so quickly by all of the bridal magazines and Pinterest, especially Pinterest. How can I pick just one style of nails when there are thousands that are so pretty and I like? Thank goodness I know the style of wedding dress I want or I would probably just throw in the towel now ;) Don't even get me started on the price tags of things. Ugh. Good luck to us both!

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  41. Yeah who would have thought of those things, have to say though I didn't have a photographer couldn't afford it but got lots of awesome photo anyway from all the photos family members took

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  42. Your engaged nails look great. My advice is to spend your money on good food, good music, and booze. No one ever tells me how pretty my napkins were or that they are glad we upgraded to chiavari (sp???) chairs but they do remember having fun. Also stick up for yourself and do things how you want to do things. Everyone wants to butt in to other people's weddings but it's your day. It really only matters if you and the Mr. get everything that was on your list of musts. And hire a day of coordinator so when your 25 crystal candlesticks don't arrive that is someone else's problem to solve while you're cluelessly sipping champagne with your girls.

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  43. I got married at 20 after 9 months of knowing my husband. . .apparently we are the opposite end of the rush to marriage spectrum. I was too young to give a crap. It also helps that I don't give a rip about weddings, dresses, rings, etc. So, do what works for you two. And Harlow, obviously. And don't spend all of your money. And remember it's one day. And laugh. And assume at least one thing will go wrong. And then laugh about it. I bet you're good at that. And hooray! Congrats again!

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  44. Stay off Pinterest. Stay away from cliches like burlap, chalkboards, pick a seat not a side, etc. Once you pick the venue and the menu everything else falls into place. Good luck.

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  45. We spent over a year planning our wedding, we had held the wedding at my grandparent's castle so we didn't have to pay for a venue and it still ended up costing over $30,000, with 100 guests, half family, the rest friends that I really didn't care about but felt obligated to invite and it was gone in the blink of an eye. We then honeymooned in Paris where I had a giant realization.....
    My tip for you ELOPE IN PARIS!!!
    At the end of the day the only thing that should matter is the sight of your soon to be husbands face as you walk down he isle!!
    Congratulations

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  46. I planned our wedding in less than 3 months for about $5K and it was absolutely wonderful! Granted, I'm a hard core planner and had a binder that broke down evvverryyythiinnngggg. Stressful, yes. Crazy, yes. Fun, most definitely. It can be done! But Pinterest can be overwhelming! Best of luck!
    Ashleigh
    mermaidonthemove.wordpress.com

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  47. I have a wedding board, and none of it was actually used for my wedding. Not.one.thing. My advice is plan the wedding you want. Invite the people that matter, and eat whatever you want. If we had the funds, we totally would of had chipotle cater, I would LOVE that. However its like $700 for like 50 people. If you rather something small and intimate, do it at city hall. I've seen some of the cutest weddings done at a city hall. We plan on having an bigger and better wedding since we didn't have the funds to have an actual wedding reception I would want. I don't think I'll look to pinterest for inspiration however.

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  48. So... I kind of have a lot to write. Sorry in advance! I planned my own wedding; all of it myself because at the time, well, my parents weren't too happy about it. At all! It took me about 2 months to plan my wedding and It actually wasn't that hard or stressful! I used google docs, made a list of categories (what the bridesmaids and groomsmen wear, reception details - such as the place, time, decorations - photographer , catering, cake details, etc) and filled out each list to what I wanted! That way I knew what I had done and what I needed to get done and plan. I'm sure you do that already if you are planning your wedding yourself. I wanted a more rustic look at my wedding so it might help to have a "theme"... I use that term loosely because it sounds so tacky... but I mean like a rustic theme or a color theme.

    Oh and I never got hot in my wedding dress - it was one of those modest lace dresses like you described just with short sleeves - and I hardly drank water and didn't get dehydrated! I would suggest to make your wedding day just fun and easy going - I wrote a post about advice here (http://behindblonde.blogspot.com/2014/07/at-your-wedding.html) so take it as you will! Maybe I'll be your next feature ;)

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  49. Mind = blown. Who woulda thought of any of these! Don't forget to check this list twice before your big day :/ haha but seriously I'm sure you will think of awesome ways to make your wedding uniquely you!

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  50. Amazing tips girl ;) haha...I'm going through this planning process too. Buying magazines was fun for a few minutes, I only got in to about 17 pages of one. Pinterest is so overrated. I got one idea from a pin that I actually had pinned 2 years ago...haha. The rest of them have become unrealistic. We found a venue we both love, are inviting the people we want to be at our big celebration, and planning one kick ass party. I could care less about perfect centerpieces, photo booths and all these other crazy things I see. I'm doing it my way, the fun way...and that's what is most important. HAVE FUN!

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  51. My sister made me look through her bridal magazines, and then I hid them b/c I got bored looking at the advertisements that made up 98% of the thing. I think the cover's probably the only original content!

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  52. The hydration thing I think is unfair in a way to be so harsh about.. on our wedding day a few months ago, I was so busy and overwhelmed that I forgot to eat for a good 9 hours and almost passed out. Thank goodness for my new husband saving the day. I also really enjoyed using Pinterest for inspiration, but then made my own things combining some of the ideas in the pins I saw.

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  53. It took 11 years for us to get engaged!!! Yeah Pinterest is a killer. There are TOO MANY THINGS! Just have fun, buy your dress online, get it fixed up to fit you, do your flowers yourself and have the smallest wedding you possibly can with the people you love and have a fun day with your mates! Why bother spending thousands of dollars on ONE DAY and people you will never see again in your life?! Remember that!!

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  54. It's so COMPLICATED!!!! Did your parents start giving their two cents yet? That's always fun. But on a serious note, whatever you wear, you'll look beautiful. Even if you don't have a toned back.

    cominguprosestheblog.com

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  55. I was a sucker for the modest wedding dresses too! I ended up wearing a dress with 3/4 length lace sleeves and a higher neckline, but I don't think the Mormons would have approved of the scoop back on my dress. The great thing about sleeves is that you don't have to worry as much about toning your arms ;)

    My advice, for what it's worth: don't try to make everyone else happy (you will absolutely fail), bridal magazines are pretty much a waste of money but Pinterest can be a bit of help, and take cell phones away from the groomsmen unless you want them taking selfies during the ceremony!

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  56. Damn gina, how did you get so many comments on this? And how did I miss them all? I cannot believe my wedding is ... um .. 86 days away and I still have a fuckload of stuff to do. Pinterest is ok, but I try not to stress myself out about it. I'm more excited about the marriage.

    If I get one more opinion about anything I will scream. But. enjoy this time, I only had a 10-month engagement bc we don't live together and my ultra-conservative-Catholic family literally said (in the walk into Sunday Mass one day, no less) that my mother will disown me if I move in with him before marriage. Write me out of the will, pretend I don't exist, etc. I wish our engagement were longer just because it's so fun - usually. Opinions are killing me.

    I'll agree with above - you worry about making yourself happy. You won't please everyone, and honestly, you shouldnt give a F.

    XO.

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  57. I think the number one thing to keep in mind is to make yourself happy. Spend money on whats important to you and not what people tell you you have to spend money on. I loved pintrest because i'm not super creative person so it gave me wonderful ideas. And i hated the wedding magazines. i went into my dress appointment looking for a specific kind of dress and came out with the exact opposite. The only thing I super loved was theknot.com I thought its checklist was wonderful and it's customizable & the wedding website saved us a lot of printing costs! :D

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  58. haha this is amazing! thanks for breaking it down like that. i wrote a few posts on having a non-traditional wedding (although with grandma meets lace you may want that) but my favorite was mixing up the bridal party. both my husband and i have close friends who are are the opposite sex so they stood by our sides and i loved it!

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  59. Ours was basically an outdoor barbecue with washtubs full of bottled beer. We had one attendant each. We didn't invite people we don't like. I highly recommend all of the above.

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  60. I'm with you - all the wedding decisions that supposedly matter are extremely overwhelming. I really don't give a damn what shade of ivory napkin my guests wipe their mouth on haha. I'm sure you'll do your own thing in the next 3-5 years - enjoy the engagement time!

    xo, Maddy
    http://cassidylou.com

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