Are You An Anthro Girl?
Thursday, January 29, 2015
I went soul searching yesterday and I found a better version of myself.
I found her at Anthropologie. I don't go in that store very often because I can't afford to pay $175 for an apron covered in owls wearing oxfords, but just for the hell of it I wandered in yesterday to see what might happen.
And I liked what I saw. After just a few moments of meandering around the store I became relaxed and calm. The strong scents of Anthro's blue candles floated inside me and a very tranquil feeling overcame me. None of the store workers even looked at me and it felt wonderful. I felt like an Anthro-girl. Or I should say an Anthro-old woman because let's be honest, all of their clothing is what I like to call "Hippy Grandma Goes To The Country Club." But by God do I love it.
Anthro girls love classy hippy grandma clothes.
Everything is white and creme and crotchet and mauve. Is mauve even a word? I don't know but it felt right as I wandered around wondering if I'm in a clothing store or a hardware store or have just accidentally fallen into a homeless woman's shopping cart full of goodies she pushes down the street.
The open floor plan with exposed wood and hanging lanterns makes me think this store was designed by magical forest fairies. That, or a young child who just started screaming random things they wanted placed all over. "A string of deer antlers there! And bird houses there! Let's put more plates on the wall! And then let's cover this bed with marshmallows!"
There's gorgeous bowls shaped like ducks and ducks shaped like bowls. Everything seems to have feathers. The coffee mugs, the rugs, even the decorative brooms and scrub brushes have feathers. Why does Anthro have brooms or scrub brushes? Why? Because this store has everything decorative no one needs, but that everyone wants. Have you seen their section of drawer knobs? Talk about gorgeous. I once saw a knob the size of a quarter that had a painting of baby Jesus eating a blueberry scone. It still makes me cry when I think about it.
I think at one time Anthro might have been a clothing store. But now it seems the clothes are just a front to bring confused people like myself inside. Sure, they still sell pilgrim dresses draped in long vests and unnecessary belts, as well as polka dot covered boxy-fitting blouses and blazers, but the clothes just feel like an after thought. Anthro has moved on to bigger things.
They sell more than clothes.
They sell you on the idea of what life is like when you can afford to pay $800 for the most uncomfortable yet beautiful chair covered in dancing sparrows wearing pearls. A chair similar to one your grandma might have paid $60 for in the 1950s. Because that's what our culture loves right now, paying top dollar for things that look used.
They sell you on what it's like to be a rich old woman, stuck in a young woman's body, dreaming of being a rich old woman.
And that my friends, is the study of anthropologie.