Are You An Anthro Girl?

Thursday, January 29, 2015


I went soul searching yesterday and I found a better version of myself.

I found her at Anthropologie. I don't go in that store very often because I can't afford to pay $175 for an apron covered in owls wearing oxfords, but just for the hell of it I wandered in yesterday to see what might happen.

And I liked what I saw. After just a few moments of meandering around the store I became relaxed and calm. The strong scents of Anthro's blue candles floated inside me and a very tranquil feeling overcame me. None of the store workers even looked at me and it felt wonderful. I felt like an Anthro-girl. Or I should say an Anthro-old woman because let's be honest, all of their clothing is what I like to call "Hippy Grandma Goes To The Country Club." But by God do I love it.

Anthro girls love classy hippy grandma clothes.

Everything is white and creme and crotchet and mauve. Is mauve even a word? I don't know but it felt right as I wandered around wondering if I'm in a clothing store or a hardware store or have just accidentally fallen into a homeless woman's shopping cart full of goodies she pushes down the street.

The open floor plan with exposed wood and hanging lanterns makes me think this store was designed by magical forest fairies. That, or a young child who just started screaming random things they wanted placed all over. "A string of deer antlers there! And bird houses there! Let's put more plates on the wall! And then let's cover this bed with marshmallows!"

There's gorgeous bowls shaped like ducks and ducks shaped like bowls. Everything seems to have feathers. The coffee mugs, the rugs, even the decorative brooms and scrub brushes have feathers. Why does Anthro have brooms or scrub brushes? Why? Because this store has everything decorative no one needs, but that everyone wants. Have you seen their section of drawer knobs? Talk about gorgeous. I once saw a knob the size of a quarter that had a painting of baby Jesus eating a blueberry scone. It still makes me cry when I think about it.

I think at one time Anthro might have been a clothing store. But now it seems the clothes are just a front to bring confused people like myself inside. Sure, they still sell pilgrim dresses draped in long vests and unnecessary belts, as well as polka dot covered boxy-fitting blouses and blazers, but the clothes just feel like an after thought. Anthro has moved on to bigger things.

They sell more than clothes.

They sell you on the idea of what life is like when you can afford to pay $800 for the most uncomfortable yet beautiful chair covered in dancing sparrows wearing pearls. A chair similar to one your grandma might have paid $60 for in the 1950s. Because that's what our culture loves right now, paying top dollar for things that look used.

They sell you on what it's like to be a rich old woman, stuck in a young woman's body, dreaming of being a rich old woman.

And that my friends, is the study of anthropologie.

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27 comments:

  1. I used to do PR for an art museum. I remember one day during a focus group for a rebrand, someone was going on an and on about how people in general loved looking at pretty things and tried using it to justify a price increase despite decreasing attendance. And the branding consultant said, "People do like looking at pretty things, that's why they go to Anthropologie. But they don't charge admission and you can touch everything."

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  2. I snarfed tea out my nose when I read this line "I once saw a knob the size of a quarter that had a painting of baby Jesus eating a blueberry scone. It still makes me cry when I think about it." So thanks for that. Also, I don't get Anthropologie. I really don't.

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  3. Your blog is always a bright spot in my day! Don't ever stop.

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  4. Hahaha this is perfect. Dancing sparrows wearing pearls! Bowls shaped like ducks and ducks shaped like bowls! Owls wearing oxfords! You nailed it. And yet, I admit I love me some Anthro. Now can they realize that $3000 for said dancing sparrows is just ridiculous??

    xo

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  5. Yeah, that sounds about right. I have never understood the appeal.

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  6. Hahaha, I love that store. I want to be an anthro girl, but I'm to poor to be an anthro girl. I've walked through that store many times and literally never purchased one thing.

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  7. I enjoyed the details that you provided. Although I've never shopped at Anthropologie (then again, I don't think it would hold much appeal to men), your details made it seem like I was there.

    Also, yes, mauve is a color :)

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  8. i think you may have found a new calling..... store reviews..... AMAZING.... felt like i was right there with you, all snarky and giggling.... LOVE IT!

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  9. Anthropologie is the place where, without fail, I look at something so ugly and think to myself, "now that's beautiful." Deep, right?

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  10. I once entered an Instagram #loopgiveaway for an Anthropology $500 gift card... Being from Montana were we do not have such fancy stores, I went to their website to check out what I could buy if I won (which I didn't because I don't win things...), and after browsing I realized that if I won I would be able to purchase 1 item with that $500! Yikes, never shopping there, ever. I prefer Target where I can buy a ton of stuff for that kind of moola.

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  11. I purchased a scarf from there for our engagement pictures and that's enough money for me to spend in my lifetime. ;)

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  12. Anthro is always a great place to browse for inspiration before you head out on a good thrifting trip. Truth.

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  13. Well I didn't consider myself to be an old lady until just now (thanks for that!) because I confess I shop at Anthro. Of course I don't buy regular priced items...I wait till they go on sale at 70% off and then pick them up at the price they should have been at in the first place.

    I've never considered my style to be "Hippie Grandma goes to the country club" but who knows? As an avid thrifter and vintage clothing lover I can say in all honesty the only retail store that has any appeal to me anymore is Anthropologie. Why? Probably because they are so "out there" with their marketing strategy and creativity.

    When I first discovered Anthro I thought it was an art gallery. Then I thought most of their clothes were brought over from the Ukraine. They had that Ukrainian flare to them. Too much pattern. Too much colour. Looks like you should be folk dancing in them. But then something changed inside me. I was seduced by their textures, colours, smells, lifestyle. I wanted to be with a horse in a field standing beside an old man with no teeth in Costa Rica surrounded by mountains and chickens while wearing the perfect silk maxi dress with cognac leather boots and a floppy felt hat. I wanted that to be me! I had succumb to the cult of Anthro.

    So I'll admit it. I'm addicted to Anthropologie. I'm not rich and I'm not old (but it's all relative isn't it?).

    I hope they have a support group out there for me somewhere.

    This has officially become the longest comment I've left on a blog ever. Congrats! ; )

    bisous
    Suzanne
    http://www.suzannecarillo.com

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  14. Haha I love Anthro
    xo
    www.laurajaneatelier.com

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  15. "let's cover this bed with marshmallows" lol and my sister in law just told me the other day on the topic of Anthro that she "couldn't even afford a feather from that store" and I thought she was weird because they don't sell feathers but apparently I'm wrong!

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  16. I really love Antrhopologie too, but I just can't justify the prices! Last time I went they had porcelain books for sale. I thought they were jewelry boxes at first, but no. Just a big clunky piece of ceramic shaped like a book. I had to walk away slowly because I'd have to take out a mortgage to pay for one if I accidentally broke it.

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  17. I love Anthropologie, but like you, I can't afford them. I spend most of my time browsing the store online while silently weeping to myself. Loved this post!

    Briana | The Novelista

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  18. This is so on point it's not even funny. Their drawer pulls are amazing! but i still can't fathom spending more than $20 on a drawer pull. But I still go in EVERY TIME. It's an issue. But it's so wonderful inside. Loved the post!

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  19. This is so true. I just bought something there the other day for two reasons: 1) I had a gift card + 2) it was on crazy sale. I do think they have some very unique and awesome pieces from time to time, but it is so overpriced! have a great weekend

    xo, Maddy
    http://cassidylou.com

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  20. haha this is so true and on point lol

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  21. haha....I mainly go to Anthro for their candles and cute bowls, which i'll give as gifts. :-)

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