Going Back To High School

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

I went back to my high school last night.

It was... weird. I went to the boys basketball game with my parents because it was the districts final and they're undefeated. The game started at 7:00 p.m. and the doors opened at 5:30. The gym was completely full by 5:55. There I sat with my mom, dad, Knox and Lola, in the very front row, with more than an hour to wait. For a high school basketball game.

A few things happen when you return to your old stomping grounds. 

You see your old favorite teachers and you want to go up to them and say "Thank you, you left an impact. And also how in the hell are you still putting up with awful teenagers?"
And then you see your not so favorite teachers and you want to go up to them and say nothing at all.
I take that back, I'd like to thank some of the douche teachers as well, because they've given me some good material for my standup. You know who you are.

And then there's the former classmates. They're all over but they're not so easy to recognize. They disguise themselves as mothers and fathers and teachers. I saw a girl who graduated in my class sitting with her three children. Shit, I don't want that. She probably thought the same thing about me while I sat in the front row in my ripped jeans fit for a teenager, eating a sucker with my head in the clouds.

And then there's that one person that I don't want to face at all. That girl who didn't talk to anyone but complained when people said she was stuck up. She has platinum hair and orange skin. She's that stupid girl we'd all like to punch and say get over yourself, idiot. She's high school me.

I see her when the National Anthem starts and everyone stands. She looks like this.

I said that was my lucky black headband. I had to wear it for every game. But in all honesty I wore it because I was worried my forehead looked too big without it on. One time when I was playing a game against a team I don't remember because it's not that big of a deal (it was against Lincoln Northeast in December of 2003, the player was #14) a girl pushed me down in the back court and said "get down, horse face."

And that was the birth of my fivehead insecurity. Which for the record I am totally okay with now. Big foreheads are a sign of power, just ask Tyra Banks.
Ten years ago at this time my basketball career ended. My team didn't go to "state." I cried the entire way home. My life was over. I wasn't going to get to play at USC or play in the WNBA. Never mind that my entire high school basketball career was mediocre at best, I still had hopes if I could just get my team to state I had a pretty solid chance of getting to the WNBA. 

Ten years later, I'm over it. It was for the best. It knocked me down a few pegs, which every teenager needs I think. I went to college without that high school arrogance and with my tail between my legs. I found there are bigger things in life. I also found alcohol.
Just kidding. A little. 

My ten year high school reunion is this summer. I think I'll sit this one out. Maybe I'll make it to the twenty year. 

*Please ignore spacing issues today. Ignore them, BECAUSE I CAN'T AND I'M GOING TO THROW MY COMPUTER OUT THE WINDOW.


  1. Girl, I feel you. I balled in high school too (does saying "balled" automatically make me a weirdo?), and even though I'm nowhere near 10 year reunion time yet, it's still way whack stepping foot in that building now. It's like all of the ghosts of high school past are going to surround you and make you remember something embarrassing.


  2. My class reunion was last September. I was going to go, but I didn't have the money to. Then I saw the pictures of all who went, and knew I had no desire to actually talk to those people. *shrugs* It is what it is. Maybe more people would go to the 20 year reunion.
    I went to my high school after they remodeled it, and it broke my heart that they a.) moved the library, where I spent most of my time, b.) painted over my signature in the "Bat Cave" (A hallway leading from the theatre hallway into the auditorium), and c.) had a beautiful new auditorium with state-of-the-art equipment, that they were too broke to install when I was there. Jealous? Abso-effing-lutely. :(

  3. We didn't actually end up having a 10 year reunion. I'm not sure why...actually I take that back, it's probably because they elected a complete idiot as class president. His "elect me" speech was, I'm "Insert douchey name here", vote for me Really..? That guy won....sigh... Maybe it's a good thing I didn't have a reunion. haha!

  4. Yep, no need for a 10 year it feels like since everyone is still connected on FB. Mine's this year and I bet I skip it.

    Moscow Mule? Yes please :)

  5. OMG someone called me horse face in my childhood too!!!! And people still compare me to looking like Sarah Jessica Parker sometimes and I think she's so pretty but she always gets made fun of for the same. Neigh, I say, neigh!

  6. I definitely had people say to me, "Why the long face, Kalyn??" and I took it to heart! And crying over high school sports - for me it was volleyball - but there were definitely more tearful moments than I care to admit!

  7. My 10 year reunion is sometime this year too. I think I'll sit this one out as well. I mean, what is Facebook for if not to creep on your high school classmates?

  8. I wish I had skipped my 10 year reunion. Or high school, for that matter.

  9. High school reunions. . .ewwww. My 20th is this summer and I haven't been to one yet. The people I want to see are the ones I stay in touch with. Those four years were definitely not my glory years so I have no need to relive that nonsense. And isn't it funny/sad/ridiculous that those off-hand comments stick with us forever. #14 can suck it!

  10. High school sucked, I hated it, but would l like to go back and wonder through the halls again and see some of the old place bloody oath I would

  11. The post high school discovery of alcohol #lifechanging

  12. Blah to high school. My ten year reunion was last year and I heard no one went. (I didn't go because I thought it was weirdo I kept picturing scenes from Carrie when facing former bullies ha). Also heard a lot of assholes got fat. Karma. And ditto on finding alcohol.

  13. great post! gosh I haven't thought about high school in a long time!


  14. I have not even been out of high school two years and I really hate running into people I graduated with. I'm not even old enough to have alcohol. Boo :(

  15. I have not been back since I graduated and I don't think I will EVER go back!

  16. I'm going home to visit my parents this weekend and will run into all kinds of people at a baby shower for a girl I graduated. I have those same feelings you have towards people. As far as the headbands in basketball I can totally relate. For my junior and senior year of basketball we wore black Nike headbands. The trick was we wore them with the Nike logo upside down. One of the girls had a dream about us winning state with our headbands like that, so that's how we decided we would wear them. However, we never did win state :( honestly this brings back sooo many high school basketball memories now!! I loved this post!

  17. My ten-year high school reunion will be early this June. I am excited to go, particularly if I can finish my PhD defense by then.

    I think that my Asperger's syndrome allowed me to elude the drama of high school. Then again, I also showed my genuine face at all times--I never hid behind any sort of archetypal facade to fit in or to attract attention. It will be interesting to see how some of my classmates have changed, or whether they have at all!

  18. Oh, C'MON. Go the reunion. Just think of all the great material you'd get there. I'd love the read the blog post about it!