My Work History-It's Weird

Tuesday, March 24, 2015


Occasionally people ask me if I have a job.

And to that I reply, of course I do! I am a stay-at-home fiance who cleans the house, makes dinner, and goes to yoga. It's not easy, but I feel very blessed/fulfilled never the less.

I'm kidding and I hate you.

I don't go to yoga. Although I have before and I really do enjoy it. Perhaps I'll loosen the pocket straps one day and buy another pass in the future.

But yes, I do have a job. A few actually. Without going into too much detail, I spend the majority of my day managing the social media accounts for four different companies. I also spend a lot of time on Talk Herbie To Me, this blog, this shop, and a few other freelance projects. Does that all sound vague as hell? Good, let's keep it that way.

None of this matters. What I really want to talk about today are my first jobs out of college, which also happen to be some of my weirdest jobs.

Job #1- Do you like jicama salsa?

I worked as a recruiter for a culinary institute. So every single day I would go into high schools dressed in a white chefs jacket and black culinary pants and give a cooking demonstration to unruly teenagers. I wheeled my roll suitcase full of handouts in one hand, a big red cooler in the other, and a knife kit slung on my shoulder into different high schools across Kansas and Missouri for two years. My class presentations were super random, I changed them up depending on how awful the students were being that day.

One time my boss came in to review and after I got done with the presentation/cooking demo she said, "Well that was the weirdest version of that presentation I've ever seen. Have you ever thought about going into standup?" Up until then I hadn't.


Job #2 -Forget high school, I'm going to elementary school.

After I quit the culinary job I decided to go into an even weirder job. Do you guys remember those really annoying people who would come into your elementary schools and try to get you all jazzed about selling cookie dough in exchange for the most pathetic prizes ever? That was me. I worked for a fundraising company when I moved to Chicago.

Picture this: A Jock Jams album is blaring over the sound system, the gymnasium lights are dimmed, and kids aged 5-11 are ready to crap their pants they are so excited to be out of their classroom for this special school assembly. Enter Taylor.

"DO YOU GUYS LIKE BMX BIKES?" cue the kids to start going nuts.

"DO YOU GUYS LIKE COOKIE DOUGH?" more excitement, some kids actually start to pant and sweat they're getting so riled.

"THEN LET'S SELL SOME COOKIE DOUGH AND WIN SOME BMX BIKES!!!!" at this point every single child in the gym has just gone completely bat shit crazy. I'm tossing out light up pencils and yo-yos like I'm Oprah. And for a minute I float up out of myself and access the situation and think, how did my life get like this? And by "this" I mean awesome obviously.

Sadly, I only had this job for about eight months because the company was a joke and it went completely bankrupt.

Job #3- I hate everything.
I've had two office jobs since living in Chicago. Both were terrible. (For me.) I know that some people do well in an office environment and I admire that. But given my work history of slinging yo-yos and doing knife tricks (for real, I've got mad chopping skills) I always felt like a caged animal in an office.

Thus the reason I am so thankful I get to do what I do today. I know that at any minute things could change and I could have the rug taken out from under me so I'm just trying make the best of the moment while it's here.

And that's my Tony Robbins inspirational moment for the day. What kind of work person are you? Office environment or work from home?



33 comments:

  1. Haha I just realized what my life has been missing lately - Jock Jams!! I think the main thing for me is that I don't like to be trapped in one place all day. I get restless. I'm the type of person who would never complain about 3 hour shifts in retail because I might have been broke, but at least I didn't have to live at the mall! I'm back in school so I just work part-time right now and decided self-employment was the way to go. I'm a dog walker and I'm pretty sure it's the best job ever!

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  2. I'm currently in an office, but my job can take me all over the county and the state sometimes...but I still hate it. I'm dying to just quit and make living doing a bunch of different vague "social media" things. But, there's the mortgage, and the health insurance...gone are the days when I could quit jobs willy nilly and lay low at mom and dad's until I figured out my next move.

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  3. I would love to be self-employed and just freelance, but when I tried it I discovered something else about myself: I love money even more. Lol! I'm always a tad bit envious of people who manage to make a living freelancing but then I remind myself that I did this to myself. I chose stability over creativity. And it's not so bad. I'm on your blog right now, after all.

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  4. I've always been the one person of my friends with a consistent job since I was seventeen. I worked all during college, while my friends lived off money from their parents. I was jealous at the time, but now I'm easily hire-able, because I have a long work history of people who loved me (mostly). I currently work in an office, and while it's not my ideal job, it's getting better than it was a few years ago. We're actually talking about promoting me up through the ranks which is absolutely bananas to me. I'm still super psyched about it, though. :-)
    You definitely have material for stand up, so it's cool that you're still pursuing it. It takes some guts to be in stand up.

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  5. I really love that story about your boss telling you you should do stand up. I feel like it's something straight out of someone's famous' autobiography, though I'm pretty confident it will be one day. I used to think that I'd like a 9-5 and I had one and it was fine. Now my hours are all over the place and I like it way more than I thought I would. In theory, I would like to work from home but I think I'd get too weird, certainly did last winter. For now office life it is.

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  6. FInding what we're supposed to do is the WORST. ever. I think you're on the right path. We gotta do what we gotta do. You like INSTAGRAM? cue bloggers mouths watering.

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  7. Loved this! I think I'm a 9-5 girl right now since my version of the elementary school assembly would go "WHO LIKES TO-DO LISTS?" "WHO WANTS TO GO MAKE A SCHEDULE ON ICAL????" And I basically die of excitement. But who knows - maybe I'll find myself a flexible work lady someday.

    acupoftay.com

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  8. I'm an office person who desperately wants to be a work-from-home person.

    You've had some interesting jobs. Way better than my history in telemarketing and customer service. (Snooooooooze!)

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  9. I'm sorry I'm cracking up over here thinking about cookie dough and bmx bikes set to Jock Jams volume 3. Add some strobe lights and fog machines and my mental picture I am painting is complete.

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  10. I"m laughing so hard at your cookie dough job! I've held some very random jobs over the past years, but it has taught me what I like and don't like. I don't like large corporations with a lot of BS and like being able to have some creativity and control (while also not working for myself) and have finally found my niche...FOR NOW. We're always evolving. I'm glad you're happy with your work!

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  11. I'm laughing so hard at your cookie dough job! I've held some very random jobs over the past years, but it has taught me what I like and don't like. I don't like large corporations with a lot of BS and like being able to have some creativity and control (while also not working for myself) and have finally found my niche...FOR NOW. We're always evolving. I'm glad you're happy with your work!

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  12. I'm sad the lottery didn't make the list :)

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  13. Hahaha -- I LOVE your description of your second job!! I used to absolutely love those people that came into my elementary school! I thought it was the best thing every -- I sold cookie dough for the silliest things! Glad that you've found something you love doing! :)

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  14. I feel like you could fit into an office environment... or at least office environments would be better with you there motivating everyone!

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  15. This is seriously the greatest post ever! I am definitely chuckling at my desk, and my co-workers probably think I'm crazy. I do work in an office, but I am definitely not an office person. I ask my husband every day if I can just be a stay-at-home-doggy-mommy. I mean, I work in the music business and I LOVE it, but stay-at-home-doggy-mommy, watching Netflix and baking cookies all day...that sounds like the perfect job for me. #dreaming haha :)

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  16. Awesome post! I currently have the luxury of being a stay at home mom to my fur baby. My husband is in the military and we'll be moving to Japan next month for three years so I just quit my job as a preschool teacher so I can be unemployed while we're there. I spend my day in my office, working on my blog, taking care of our puppy, keeping the house clean, and soon I'll be exploring a tropical island. It's perfect, but I hope to someday work from home in marketing and public relations :)

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  17. Oooh I love random resumes! I waited tables at an Asian restaurant in college. My first post college job was on Capitol Hill working for a senator, and from there I went on to become a supervisor at a large retirement community not far from the Capitol! And now? I'm a stay at home pregnant wife who recently quit her job as a substitute teacher. I am not an office girl. I am weird and random job girl that will hopefully give me rich material to write my best-selling memoir when I'm 60 kind of girl. By the way, your boss's comment from job number 1 made me laugh out loud. I wish I could have witnessed the weirdest version of the presentation ever! You are awesome.

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  18. I have a job too, I am a mother and grandmother

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  19. Why do I feel like you and I have completely parallel lives?

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  20. I'm an "office" work person, as I get easily distracted from work at home.

    Plus, teaching undergraduates is done in a more public vicinity than my residence :)

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  21. Thank you for bringing back those assembly memories!!! My life dream was to get in one of those plastic thingies when the cash would blow everywhere and you had to try and catch as many bills as you could??

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  22. It was a sad, sad day when I realized I couldn't be a "work from home/freelance nurse."

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  23. Since I've graduated from university I've had this odd mish-mash of jobs and not a single one of them was a full time office job.I've practically refused to get one. I knew I would hate it and didn't last. While my schedule may be a bit more unconventional now I can easily pay the bills and I'm not just banging my head into my desk.

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  24. I have an office job, but I work from home two days a week and have an incredible boss. My office is also four miles from my home. I am very fortunate. Sometimes I'd love to have things different but I know I'm really lucky with what I have. My office desk even has a window view! of trees! and grass! and a pond! Yeah. I'm not moving for a long, long time.

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  25. I actually think your weird jobs are the coolest!! haha Convincing kids to sell cookie dough is freakin epic (I don't have that where I live)! :D

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  26. I think you have a fun job history! Mine has been rather interesting, but not that interesting. I have been a stall cleaner, sample seller, cart pusher, ER room cleaner, fitness and health coach, and now I am a sales associate that gets to sit in an office for a majority of the day unless I go into the store and do store-related things :D

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