22 Times I Just Can't

Friday, April 3, 2015

I think the phrase "I just can't" is easily one of the most obnoxious phrases in our culture today. I hate it so much I've actually started to love it. Sorry, but I just can't.




When I went on an Easter Egg hunt in the 90s wearing a fur coat and lime green biker shorts.

When milk crusties fall into my coffee.

When Harlow takes another dog's toy at the park and the dog owner gets mad at me. It's a dog park. Don't bring toys that can't be shared/destroyed.

When my dishwasher doesn't even pretend to get dishes clean. Like c'mon dishwasher, this is your one job!

When people don't pronounce the "h sound" before words like human. It's not "uuuman," just stop.

When I get fast food and there's a "tip jar" on the counter.

When I sign up for a free 30 day trial and forget to cancel on the 31st day. Gets me every time.

When child actors go through puberty on TV. (Modern Family cast.) I'm sorry, I know they can't help it. But I just can't.

When my clothes come out of the washer with laundry detergent on them. But wait, why?

When rugs with gripper pads still move all over the place. Thanks, Harlow.

When your Instagram bio says "Living and Loving for Jesus" and then your first 20 photos are of you covered in Louis Vuitton luggage and throw pillows that say "you can never be too thin or too rich." I'm sorry, I just can't. I don't doubt you're living for Jesus, I just think you're living for Vuitton a little more.

When my deodorant falls out in one big chuck. This is 2015, why is this still happening?

When I go for a run (quick walk) for the first time in six months and my body decides to punish me for being so lazy by itching. everywhere. I just can't.

Saran wrap. Does it ever tear correctly?

When people walk and text. LOOK UP.

When my DVR freezes in fast forward mode. STOPPPPPP I'm missing the best part.

UberX drivers who have no idea where they're going.

When my eyeliner disappears onto the top of my eyelid just under my eyebrow. My mom says it's because our family has "droopy eyelids." Someone tell me this isn't true.

When we all keep sharing the dumbest "look at all the pretty shit I own" photos on Instagram. And we all keep liking them. I'm as guilty as the next. But whyyyyyy.

When candles refuse to burn when it's clear they still have a little wick left. Don't quit on me early, candle.

When bathroom rugs look dirty after one shower.

When my computer constantly tries to update. Enough with the updates, Macbook. I like you exactly how you are for now. Just be you.

This list was completely inspired by this list, which is like way better mine. So go read Sarah's.

It's the weekend, I just CAN. Can you?!

*One more I just can't- the fact that my font changes from one post to the next! And you can't see my in-post links... If there is a web designer who can fix glitches please contact me! I've got a lot going on that I need fixed. thedailytay@gmail.com thank you!!!

24 comments:

  1. "When child actors go through puberty on TV. (Modern Family cast.) I'm sorry, I know they can't help it. But I just can't." - hahahaha - yes! THIS. I can't take the two young dudes (Manny & whatever the hell the other one's name is) with their weird puberty cracking deep voices. Make them go to some kind of boarding school for a few years & have em come back when they are men, please.

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  2. this whole post had me dying!! seriously thigh what's up with the dish washer??

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  3. Oh, I just can NOT when people get mad at my dog when she takes a ball. You threw it. She picked it up. Get over it, jerk.

    I also can not when I buy a shirt and then find out its hand wash or Dry Clean only. Then I can only wear it until it smells, and then never again.

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  4. or when people say "wersh" instead of wash.

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  5. Haha i love these! stuck in fast foward mode is the worst - I literally get so mad every time and don't even want to fast forward again

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  6. those damn slippery rugs and i sure hope you'll be recreating the above photo this weekend with bike shorts and all. i'll be anxiously awaiting your instagram photo...

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  7. So many good ones here. I never understand why there is a tip jar at the fast food counter, tipping is becoming out of control in North America. Have a nice weekend!

    http://www.mintnotion.com

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  8. All of these. Every single one. The tips jars drive me crazy.

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  9. hahahaa so spot on. I literally can't EVEN with this post. Too much?

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  10. the deodorant...yes!! Why is that still happening?

    and so, so true about the Modern Family cast...bless their hearts.

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  11. Omg, the switching of the font is SO annoying. I have the same problem, it must be a blogger issue. Why??

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  12. oh God. Luke on Modern Family is totally unintelligible to me now. and cut your stupid hair!! (Luke, not you)

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  13. The Post run itches are AWFUL! Holy cow. I always have to take a Benadryl then sleep for a few hours cause I get so drowsy.

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  14. I had never heard of the construct "I just can't" until I read this post--I must be really out of touch. :p

    My favorites, and the ones that I can personally attest to: the Saran wrap, the itchiness after exercise (has been a repeating problem for me for about the last year...), the dishwasher (bowls NEVER get clean at my parents' house in this way!), and the incesssant computer update alerts.

    (And, the tendency of my keyboard to turn a double letter into a triple... notice the misspelling above!)

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  15. Ohemgee...you are total adorbs and hilar. This post is ridic! I am pos...it was amaze-balls!

    I also "just can't" when people shorten EVERY living adjective. Does it take that much more effort to add the last syllable?

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  16. Saran wrap ... I just can't! haha and the pic of you in those lime green shorts was cute. PS I say I just can't way too much!

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  17. Every single one of these have happened to me in the last month. I just can't even... ;-)

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  18. I just can't either. I'm totally with you.

    Why DO the rugs always move around even when they have the grippy things on the bottom??

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  19. Why do girls hang out in odd numbers? Because they can't even.

    Uncustomary Art.

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  20. I am dying laughing, this is hilarious. I agree with all of these and the fact that I cant is obnoxious but I can't stop saying it!

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