Things That Make Me Nervous At A Wedding

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

This past weekend shall be known as the weekend everyone got married. Luckily Chris and I aren't that popular so we only got invited to one, but quite a few of our friends had several to attend.

I love how people wear their wedding invites like a badge of honor. Do you want to know how you can tell if someone has a lot of weddings to go to? You know because they tell you. "Well we have 79 weddings to go to this summer. Can you believe that?" They tell you like they're mad, but really they're feeling pretty okay about it. And rightfully so, 79 is a lot.

On Saturday we went to our first wedding since we've been engaged. I paid just a little bit more attention to things than I usually do, mostly to the things that made me itchy with anxiety. Like for example...

The bride walking down the aisle.

This is a big one. This is a big one that makes my stomach queezy and my eyes watery. I fear there's no way around it. Everyone standing to look at her during this emotional private moment (but obviously not private moment) is too much for me. Would it be too much to ask if I could tell a few jokes while I walk down the aisle or purposely trip or get a pie in the face or something? I would prefer anything than to have people stare at me with that misty sentimental look in their eye.

My go-to escape during emotional moments I can't handle are awkward inappropriate jokes. And I have a feeling my wedding is going to be full of them. I'm going to be that weird uncle no one wanted to invite at my very own wedding.

And the whole "who's gives this woman away" part is not for me.

Of course my dad will walk me down the aisle, but no one is giving anyone away. I'm not going anywhere. I'd prefer "who raised this person to have such a sick sense of humor?" And then my dad can chuckle and say I did. And that will be that.

Then we've got the wedding party entrance.

Where do I even start? Is there any way to skip this? Or should I just tell my bridesmaids to ride on their groomsmen's back and call it a day? I'll get back to you on this one.

The speeches.

Wedding speeches are my absolute favorite. If they're good, I love them. If they're bad, I love them even more. My sister got married the summer The Hangover came out so I gave the Wolf Pack speech as her maid of honor. Did it hit? No, not at all. But I'll never regret it. You have to be bold with what you say.

And that's why I've proposed at our wedding we'll have a roast. Every person in our wedding party will get to say something terrible at our expense. I think this will be the most fun ever, however everyone I've told this idea to thus far seems to think it's an awful idea.

So much to decide. And as of last Friday, our wedding is only 14 months away. How will I ever get anything done in that short amount of time.

30 comments:

  1. I got married in a church with THE LONGEST AISLE EVER. Seriously, everyone commented on it. My trick was to look ONLY at Eric at the end of the aisle. I knew I had hundreds of eyes on me, but I didn't look at a single person but Eric. Trust me, it helps TONS .. I never would have made it down if it weren't for that.

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  2. I really hope you were serious about the whole "sick sense of humor" part. That would be so funny and would just walk up to the line of being inappropriate, without fully stepping over the line. The walking down the aisle thing intimidates me too. I was considering just having us greet everyone as they come in to the venue, having a chat, and then at some point having us walk to the middle of the room and meet up with our officiant, who would marry us in a 5 minute ceremony. This suggestion did not go over well with my parents but I'm not ruling it out.

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  3. I hate the wedding party entrance. It just seems really lame to me. And for the last several weddings I went to, it was really lame to watch.
    And I totally think you should tell the person officiating the ceremony to say, "Who gave this woman her sick sense of humor." That's just awesome. The important thing is that your wedding should reflect you and your fiance.

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  4. i love watching the bride come down the aisle!
    great post xoxo

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  5. I think the roast is an awesome idea! It's unique and seems to fit you well. I say go for it. :)

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  6. We didn't do the "who gives this woman away" junk. It's really up to you what to decide to include. Our minister told us his basic format and then we said what we liked, what we didn't and if we wanted to add anything. It was a little annoying and stressful, but it was (max) an hour of my life, and then I could cut out everything I hate!

    Another thing: receiving lines and/or couple dismissing all the guests. Don't do it. You'll feel obligated to go around and talk to everyone at the reception anyway, so it's just (in my opinion) a huge waste of time.

    You'll be so much less stressed if you let yourself break free from the mold! Me: evening wedding, all photos beforehand so we could just go eat and party all night after the ceremony. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable!

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  7. I started looking into wedding traditions and some of them are REALLY screwed up and make me want no part in them. That being said I'm not engaged or dating yet so I don't have to worry. I'm like you though and my go-to is humor so my one day wedding will be interesting to say the least...

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  8. You just got me a little panicked when you said how would you get it all done in 14 months...mine is less than five months away! Of course, I've already got a lot done...but still! Ahhh!

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  9. Wedding season is upon us and we all need Valium. I'm not engaged yet, but I know that by the time the ring is on my finger I'll only have a few months to prepare, and my wedding will be in the midst of wedding season. Unfortunately. So I'm taking notes now. Thankfully the BF is a wedding critic. Or that might mean we'll have a groomzilla on our hands. Inappropriate jokes are the way we make it through uncomfortable situations. Your wedding will be gorgeous and you'll only be slightly awkward. But which bride isn't feeling awkward? None of them whatsoever.

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  10. Ughh! I agree so much with this. I'm nowhere near my own wedding day, but the thought of being stared at by emotional people combines two of the things I'm most uncomfortable with (stares and crying) into one! I'll probably either sprint down the aisle or do what someone else suggested and focus only on my future husband. And sheesh, anything reception-y gives me anxiety. Toasts and speeches and entrances. I hope my eventual wedding is relaxed and laid back enough to alter all of the traditions so they aren't as stressful.

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  11. My go-to for awkward moments are inappropriate jokes too! Let me know if you come up with a solution to this, because I could really use the advice!

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  12. The wedding party entrance gives me the most anxiety of anything ever. also the most second hand embarrassment!! hahaha

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  13. I skipped the wedding party intros at my wedding! I hate those...so awkward and so much pressure to come up with the coolest intro dance with whoever you walked with even though you've known them for less than 24 hours. You can totally skip them! I bet your bridal party will thank you!

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  14. The walk up the aisle was really awkward for me too! I loved looking at Adam as I walked but I am not ok with being the center of attention and I was super aware of all the eyes watching me! Thankfully it was a very old, tiny church so I didn't have far to walk!

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  15. I was a wreck during our rehearsal when my dad walked me down the aisle. Practically sobbing. It made everyone laugh. In fact, I was kind of emotional during the whole rehearsal party (we didn't have a "dinner"). Now that I think back, I was emotional our whole engagement! The good news? I didn't cry at all during the wedding or reception! Get it out of your system. Cry all the time now, then you'll be beautiful and red-nose free for your wedding. Mazel and best wishes!

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  16. You forgot the dances...the first dance and the father/daughter dance felt like they took forever. Our DJ even commented that we picked a short song for ours, but we were so uncomfortable up there. Make sure you talk to your fiancé about what to do during that dance, too, because my husband and I felt like (and looked like) the biggest idiots up there turning in circles to KC & Jojo's "All my life."

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  17. When I was busy planning away my wedding the awkward/cheesy/center of attention moments (like the wedding party entrance) were things I wanted to avoid. Canceling the the wedding party entrance and keeping the actual audience (also known as guests) nice and small was key through the anxiety for me personally. But, that's the beauty of weddings; you can tailor it to your preference, like's, dislikes, and all that jazz.

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  18. Let's be honest, toasts from the wedding party always seem to be so "Bridesmaids" where everyone tries to top the other with how long they've known the bride/groom. Think about it, how many speeches start with "Hi, I'm [insert name here], I've known the bride since 6th grade and always dreamed of this day!" mumbo jumbo...

    And I just might have to steal your idea of doing the Roast, that's way more authentic!

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  19. There are just so many parts of weddings that make me feel uncomfortable. I really don't like the giving away part. But a roast is a perfect idea. You need to do what suits you, it's your wedding after all.

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  20. Uh... I'm getting married in two months and I'm not sure I'm prepared.... Wait two months?! Excuse me while I panic. I'm not letting my bridal party make entrances... My sisters/friends are just gonna have to quietly walk in and find a seat.. We aren't doing the cheesy little things... Just alcohol dancing and food... Then were outta there!

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  21. Nikki and I were hoping to god no one asked for a speech. Thankfully no one did lol.

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  22. omg i have a wedding this weekend that im in and they're making everyone stand up to roast them at the rehearsal dinner. i am dreaddddinngggg it (nothing I have to say about the bride is appropriate to say in front of a room of her loved ones . . . also, i just am not comfortable being funny on cue)

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  23. I absolutely dislike the dollar dance. I'd never even heard of it until I move to Wisconsin. It just seems to TACKY!

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  24. You could have everyone dance down the aisle a la The Office to avoid any emotional mistiness. :)

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  25. I was definitely paranoid about walking down the aisle, but when the time came, I locked eyes with my dude (and we are NOT sentimental people) and he gave me a little wave and I just sort of skipped the whole way. My dad, who I have never seen show ANY emotion, was flat out bawling the whole way, and I barely registered it until I saw the photos. It will go fine, I promise.

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  26. I think a roast for the toast is a GREAT idea! That could be so much fun!

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  27. I think a roast is a great idea! It's humorous and way more your style. (Man, i hope you weren't kidding) I'd love that at my own wedding. I don't do well with mushy, cutesy speeches.

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