Yesterday I Went To A Psychic

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

So yesterday I did something I've never done before.

I was walking down the street on my way to get coffee when I happened to pass an intimate little "psychic spiritual" shop. I see these all over, I'm sure if you live in a city you do too. But for some reason yesterday I walked inside.

A strong smell on incense hit me immediately and I was blinded by crystals reflecting light. Metaphorically and also literally, it hurt my eyes.

"Sit down."

I quickly saw the front room is the only room.  I walked right into the psychic area, if you will. And the woman commanding me to sit down was at a desk, with a (and I kid you not) beautiful crystal ball by her side. She had long dark hair, dark eyes, and silver hoops that I would have murdered for in middle school.

I had two choices at this point. I could run because psychics kind of scare me since I've seen the movie Now and Then. Or I could stay. I'm all about new life experiences. So I sat down.

I felt like I was on a first date because as I introduced myself I felt the need to say "I've never done anything like this before." And I giggled and turned red like I was doing something wrong.

She handed me a deck of tarot cards and told me to shuffle. Again, I wanted to run. Tarot cards are the devil's work! Or at least that's what I heard my mom shouting in my head. And in this version my mom is Kathy Bates from Waterboy.

But I stayed. And I shuffled.

As I flipped the cards over Towanda's eyes lit up. (*I'm going to call the psychic Towanda, as in Kathy Bate's alter ego from Fried Green Tomatoes because I'm obviously on a KB kick right now.)

I set the cards down one by one and Towanda stared right at me. Or rather right through me? But I stared back, unwilling to look away. If she wanted to read me, well then I was going to read her as well.

And then she started telling my future.

"I see a lot of success around you. In this life and in your past."

Yes! I knew it.

"But you're not quite where you want to be yet, but you're going to get there."

Okay. The giveaway for that might be the fact I'm currently at a psychic at 2 p.m. on a Tuesday wearing cut off jean shorts.... But carry on.

"Tell me about your most recent relationship."

And then I picked my hands up from under the table and said, I'm currently engaged, proudly showing my ring like I've been taught to do in the past six months.

"Yes. And this man is a Cancer?"


"A leo?"

Second try. Not bad. I'll give it to her.

"And you're going to marry him."

HOW DID SHE KNOW? Was it the ring? Did the ring give it away? Or the fact I said I'm engaged.

"He is your soul mate."

Oh thank God. I was nervous I was going to have to break it off with Chris if this woman I just met told me he wasn't.

"I see a lot of traveling in your future. But your home will always be Chicago. And I'm seeing other properties as well. You will own a few houses in other places. And you'll always have a place by water."

I always knew the game MASH was real. I KNEW IT. Now just tell me I'll write movies some day and I'll be on my way.

"I can see you're an artist. And you love words. You will do your life's work. I can feel it."

Yes. Okay. Keep it coming, Towanda.

"But don't bring another animal into your home right now. I know you want to."

And this is where she lost me. Because yes, I've had puppy fever lately.

"It will upset the current animal energy you have going on. This animal has a strong pull on you, no?"

Damn it, Harlow! His vibes run so strong Towanda could feel them even six blocks from our house.

She then went on to tell me I have an intense animal spirit and can communicate with them unlike other people. Um hells yes.

And then out of nowhere Towanda told me my recently deceased grandma Grace was in the room too. Grandma Grace passed away last year after she lived to be 101. She and I shared the same birthday. Grace found out she was adopted after going to a psychic as a teenager.

But Towanda knew all of this. I didn't even bother asking if I was adopted. If you've seen my dad's forehead you'd know why. There's no denying the Wolfe fivehead gene. It runs strong.

She also told me I will win awards in my future.

I'm going to be very happy and will help and inspire others.

I'll have two kids. They'll be hippy spirits who want to save the world.

I wanted to hear more about my future liberal children, but Towanda got slightly distracted a few times when she interrupted our session to answer her phone. I can only assume it was my grandma calling.

But basically she said everything else I prompted her to say and I wanted to hear. So really my future is looking good. Towanda said I'll be set in less than four years. So now I just have to sit back, talk to dogs, and watch it all unfold.

Sounds good to me.

I don't discredit what psychics do. I think some people truly have special ways of reading other people, however I think this comes more from recognizing energy and less from tarot cards. But to each their own.

And for only $95 I can go back and Towanda will take all of my bad energy away! Now that's a bargain.

Would I go back? Maybe. Towanda was sweet. And a good listener. It's all about life experiences. Feed your soul.

Have you ever done something like this? I'd love to hear your story if you have one.

*disclaimer: psychic is a HARD word. Per the usual, any errors are 100% my computer's fault.


  1. In college I went to some kind of convention where they had crystals and psychics and other stuff like that. I had my palm read. She asked for my right hand and was telling me all this stuff and then she said, "I see you're not in a relationship right now." And then I showed her the engagement ring on the left hand. She quickly pivoted and said, "Ah, I see. Well then you're in a relationship that you're not worried about at all!'

  2. A few weeks ago I checked out the local psychic with a friend. She went into the room first while I hung out in her living/dining room watching her husband eat dinner and her kid play. When I finally went in she asked my name and already knew I was 24, I was so amazed. Afterwards I found out she asked my friend how old I was before I went in the room!

  3. My friend went to one and seemed to have a great experience from what she told me, but when I went to the same lady, maybe she was having an off day or something because she got some major things wrong. So overall I wasn't impressed though I do believe there are some good ones out there and I might consider trying it again one day.

  4. One of my really good friends is an "empath." She hates using the word psychic to describe herself because she doesn't feel that's what she is. But she's super fun to have around because she will look at you and tell you the seemingly most random thing and then a week or a year later, oh snap.

    Like once, she told me at lunch, totally out of the blue "I'm looking at you, but I see a calendar with December on it and like, flood gates opening. Like a bunch of stuff is going to happen for you in December." This was a few months before December. I'm used to her doing stuff like that so I shrugged and went back to my food. That December, all the things happened - job offers, opportunities to move to new cities, new friendships, it was crazy town.

    My favorite thing she's done? She told me "You're in a field and there's a boy with blue eyes that you meet there. You're going to date him for like, a minute." I'm going to meet a blue eyed boy in the middle of a field? Right. I don't do fields. I do patios with wine. And yet, back in October, I found myself in a field and met a boy with blue eyes that I dated "for a minute."

    She's super fun to have around - and unfortunately doesn't see me marrying Scott Eastwood anytime soon. No psychic is 100%, right?

    1. Wow! That sounds amazing, I feel like I dream things that happen a week or so later but it's so foggy/déjà vu-y. Your friend sounds super fun :)

  5. I played AAU basketball with a girl who "just knew things". She could look people in the face and just see who they were to the core. I was dating this guy and brought him to a game. She told me to run from him and not to date him anymore. A few days later he and I got in a fight and he went nuts and said really mean things. I never spoke to him again. Fast forward ten years....he murdered his pregnant girlfriend and her two year old. No lie. He then ran to Mexico and killed himself. I am not making this up. Craze balls right?????? Also, how much of a Debbie Downer am I?

    On a lighter note, my sister recently went to a well known, rather pricey medium. My sis was recently re-diagnosed with breast cancer and she wanted to hear her future and maybe hear from our dead cousin (I promise this takes an upswing soon). Right away the medium said there was a male energy wanting to communicate with her. She thought it was our cousin or maternal grandpa. Turns out it was her paternal grandpa (we have different dads) who she didnt even know. He died when she was little. He wanted to tell her that her dad was also sick and that she should reach out to him (they hadn't spoken in years). Turns out, he was right. She found her dad and he too has cancer. They are now helping each other through recovery. CRAAAAAZY. I sound like a loon don't I? But I think these are really compelling examples. In other words, I agree with and believe your lady! You will inspire many!

  6. This is AMAZING. Seriously. I have a psychic office a few blocks from me. Passed it a million times, never was ballsy enough to enter. But now I need to know. Awesome! Sorry about the puppy fever but I feel your pain. I hope I can talk to animals too!

  7. I love this! I got my palm read in high school....he told me that I would be in the top 5% for wealth and I would have three children.....still waiting on that wealth thing! Hahaha!

  8. haha this is awesome! my best friend just went to one in dallas and i screen shotted the lady's name so that I could go. is it weird to want to fo that? maybe I just want to pay someone money to tell me it will all work out. whatever.

  9. I sort of saw a psychic one time when I was in DC. I had really bad insomnia at the time and she told me that she knew that, and I needed my chakras cleansed in order to help with my anxiety and insomnia. She told me I would have a long healthy life, but that I worry too much. She also offered me to cleanse my chakras for $200, but I declined and bought a book on cleansing. I think it helped!

  10. I love this haha! Miss Towanda sounds like a character. I envisioned her as Red from Orange is the New Black, complete with Russian accent.

    There was a guy in NYC recently who gave a psychic all of his life savings (>700k, he's crazy) just to make a woman he liked fall in love with him. ( Towanda needs to get into the match-making business.

    1. Haha this is ridiculous on so many levels!!!! why would you pay someone 40,000 for a time machine made out of a "rolex" LOL. stop. the other things he gave her money for are so ridiculous i have no words.

  11. I love hearing about others' psychic experiences. I've had two pretty amazing ones - unsettling, emotional, but amazing nonetheless.

    The summer of 2010, I lost 2 of my cousins, totally unrelated incidents, 2 weeks apart (the summer from hell, I call it). I was 27 at the time, and it was the first time I'd experienced tragedy that close to me. The following November, I saw a psychic who was able to connect with one of my cousins. She gave me his name, told me exact details of his accident, and gave me messages from him to give to his parents, brother, and girlfriend. My mom was very much against me seeing a psychic - didn't feel anyone should be "messing" with that stuff - but after telling her about my reading that day, she was a believer.

    Two years after that, I saw a medium who did Turkish coffee readings. I thought it was totally bogus, that the woman was a complete hippity-dippity nut-job, and nothing she told me made sense - I only went because my friends were going. She told me I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, but the following February, everything was going to come crashing down on me. She told me not to worry, though, because an entire community would gather around me to support me and help me through this terrible thing that was going to happen. Seriously, made no sense, and I thought she was off her rocker. My dad had been in & out of hospital with COPD for a while at that time, but still had a lot of life left in him - or so we thought. A month after my reading, he was diagnosed with bowel cancer, and was scheduled for a so-called simple surgery after Christmas that year. Things didn't go well, he spent a month in ICU post-surgery, and passed away in early Feb - 3 days before my brother's wedding. The world had definitely come crashing down on my family, but our community rallied around us like nothing I'd experienced before, made sure that my brother & his bride had one of the most awesome wedding days ever, and then came back a few days later to support us at Dad's funeral. I didn't think about that coffee reading until weeks afterwards, and I was like, "Huh... I guess she did know..."

    I haven't seen a psychic since, and I'm honestly not sure if I ever will again, because they were such emotionally draining experiences. But yeah...amazing.

    1. Wow this is so heavy and incredible! What a story!

  12. I applaud you for even walking in the door. I've always been so curious but am way too chicken to hear about the bad stuff. My Aunt on the other hand is really into it and has had some really creepy (in my opinion) experiences.

  13. I've never been to a psychic, but I found a recording of a session my grandmother had with one once. It was actually kind of creepy the stuff the psychic said. Obviously I didn't get to hear whatever my grandma had told her prior to when they pressed the record button, but it was still kind of creepy. She really did seem to know things she shouldn't have.

  14. I would love to go to a psychic, if only I had the money to do so.................I went to one when I was in my 20's she was stupid told me I would have to large black dogs, I am scared of large black dogs and I would have tow little boys I had three daughters so as I said idiot.

  15. Last night I had a dream all of my teeth fell out. Google said it wasn't good. I'm thinking I should take a chance at a psychic because I am no good with not knowing.

  16. I have no psychic encounter to report, but I really enjoyed this post. That's worth a comment, right? I did play with a ouija board once at a slumber party and assumed that I was going to hell for that. Maybe I should put tarot cards in the mix too.

  17. Sounds interesting. One of my good friends is a tarot card reader, but for her it's more about using the cards to clarify a situation and helping you use your own intuition to uncover what you already knew, basically. Plus she says so many people who use tarot and claim to be psychics go in for the wrong reason, trying to predict specific stuff about the future. For her, it's more about a gut check - the future is very malleable and lots can change its course, yanno? I find that stuff hecka fascinating, and I agree about some people being gifted at reading others' energies. It's cool to see. :) Glad you had fun with Towanda XD

  18. I was taking scuba diving lessons and the night before our first ocean dive I went to a fortune teller. She told me to stay away from deep water. I did my ocean dive the next day and passed. And I'm still alive to tell the tale. :)

  19. I really want to see a psychic! You know, just for fun :) I find the whole thing really fascinating.

  20. I went for my 18th birthday with a friend. She told me i would travel, have 2 kids, and would be in the medical field. (I'm a nurse Now, I do travel, and no kids...yet)

    Also said some stuff like i would leave them man I'm with after kids, because he would want me to take care of the kids and I'd want to play, but the second man would be military. This describes my mother to a T, so she may have read her in me?

    I probably wouldn't go again. I take things to seriously and don't want a 3rd party to give me doubts in a relationship. BUT it was a crazy experience!

  21. hahah Im glad you got everything you wanted to hear and prompted her to say. I think Im just afraid to hear something I dont want to hear so I wont go. Also $95 bucks tho?? Towanda is pricey!

  22. I've had some really good experiences the few times I've gone down that road, and I have a friend who swears by them! Some of the things they've said have been uncanny, but have ended up coming true. I've been wanting to go back and get an update on how my life is going because, you know, I just need to know.