The Annoying Kid At The Park
Monday, July 20, 2015
The "rules of playground" were lost on him. He tattled too often, didn't know when to stop talking, and hung around the adults way too much. And from what I remember of this kid, he always had the best toys he liked to show off, yet he never shared them. I'll just say it, he was a child asshole.
I always wondered what kind of parents raised kids like this. Until it dawned on me the other day at the dog park, I was one of them.
We go to the dog park almost every single day, but the only dog Harlow chases and plays with is me, and his best friend "Stick."
He is an outsider. He's that annoying kid the others don't want to be around. It's a hard truth to face, but there was no denying it the other day when we got to the park and the pack of "cool dogs" (Hank the Huskey, Emma the lab and Rex the Pit) were all running hot laps and Harlow tried to join in for a second and they immediately stopped in their tracks and looked at him like, "you serious, bro?"
And then when they picked up stride again he just proceeded to follow them barking at the top of his lungs. But he wasn't barking like a dog, it was more like a toddler screaming "hey! wait for me! hey! wait up." The bark wasn't aimed at the dogs, he was barking at the humans like the tattletale he is. It was painfully obvious. I call it his "left out bark."
The worst part is the cool dogs (they're regulars so that's why I know their names) occasionally let a Weiner dog named Larry run in their pack, and yet they don't let Harlow. That's a hard one to stomach, for both of us. No offense to Weiners or anything...
But the thing is Harlow has earned this title of being an outsider. He's a notorious toy stealer, but only when someone else wants the toy. But God forbid anyone borrow a toy Harlow's brought (we stopped bringing toys years ago because of this.) And the worst part is he's a humper. When he gets a crush we have to leave immediately because Harlow doesn't understand that NO means NO. He's very persistent and does not respect the bitches. Or the male dogs. And nobody likes an unwanted hump.
But the weirdest part is that Harlow doesn't actually know how to hump. He basically just stands next to a dog, lays his head on their back, and starts moving his hips in the air like he's at his first middle school dance. After the dog runs away he's typically still there just "dancing" by himself. Like I said, he's earned his title.
But for the most part, Harlow's the dog hanging out with the humans. While all of the other dogs are rolling in dirt or eating grass Harlow is usually standing in the middle of a group of people (getting a butt scratch of course) all while charming the group with a new joke he heard or saying something cute like "my parents say I'm precocious."
I don't know where I went wrong. Did I coddle him too much as a child... I wonder as he's currently sitting on my lap while I write this post... wrapped in a blanket. Does anyone else's dog act like this?
I'm going to reflect on this today. But right now Harlow is slapping my arm reminding me it's time for his warm breakfast. I don't want to keep him waiting.