Your Best Friends Break Up- How Do You Choose Sides?

Friday, July 17, 2015

Just recently two people I  consider to be very close friends made the painful decision to get a divorce. It's really sad for me because I had no idea they were even having problems. It was one of those situations where to the outsider looking in, they seemed almost perfect. But I guess no one really knows what's going on inside of a marriage except the two people that are in it.

The really difficult part is that I feel like I'm close with both the husband and the wife. I think of all three of us as best friends. So it seems like I have to choose. Which best friend do I pick?

Of course I'm going to support both people. But when it comes to moving forward and staying close friends, I feel like there's only one side I can truly be on.

The husband or the wife?

Ben? Or Jen?

A similar thing happened years ago when two other people I considered to be very close friends got divorced and I made the wrong choice and I'll never forgive myself for it. Nick, if you're reading this I'm still sorry. I had no idea. I thought Jessica was funny and silly, I had no idea how wrong I was. Please forgive me.

Anyway, I guess my only choice is to break it down between Ben and Jen to see who it is I really owe my loyalty.

I feel like Jen and I first became close in 13 Going On 30. This outfit, the hair, the Thriller dance. It was all very me.

Of course I knew her in Pearl Harbor and Catch Me If You Can, but neither of those movies made us bond like we did while hating Tom Tom together in the early 80s.

But then we have this.

Ben in Armageddon. That really did it for me back in the 90s. I mean solidified our friendship of course.

He was cute in Good Will Hunting, but we weren't close-close until Armageddon when I saw him play with Animal Crackers.

Then Jen and I were in a weird place during her filming of Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. It just didn't seem like a role for her. I tried to reach out and tell her this but she didn't get back to me.

But if I'm going to be fair here, Ben and I almost completely ended our friendship when he was in Gigli, Paycheck and Jersey Girl. I think he was on a bender during this time or something.

Jen won me back when she was in Juno. She just played her role so honestly and reminded me of why we're besties.

And for Ben it was The Town. I love when he gets back to his Boston roots. Reminds me of why I liked him in the first place.

Jen is a great mother. Ben is a great father. Ben is hot. Jen is intelligent and hard working. Ben is hot. Jen is classic and beautiful. Ben is hot. Hot. Ben's hot. Hot. So hot. Butt-chin hot.

Even though my gut tells me Jen might be a better person...

I'm shallow and I choose Ben.

Ben. Ben. Ben.

Who am I kidding? He won me over as O'Bannion almost twenty years ago.

Who do you choose? Ben or Jen?


  1. I love Good Will Hunting. I totally can't decide between these two. I actually just had two friends break up and was in a totally weird situation of whether I could still be friendly with the girl. They weren't married but they were engaged. I finally heard something that kinda made the decision for me. Plus the guy is basically like my brother.

  2. I don't know, man. I was all team Jen (it was the Alias years that sealed it for me though) but then she started doing those credit card commercials and I just don't know what to think. Plus Ben was in Surviving Christmas, and terrible as it was, it was filmed on my street so we're definitely friends. I can't decide.

  3. Thank you for finally putting my pain into words (and I'm with you and Ben!)

  4. I hate Ben on principle, so it's Jen for me. Sorry.

  5. My love for Ben went up tenfold after The Town.

  6. I should have known this would be silly, but... I just did this in real life. A long-time friend and her husband split up. I didn't know him as well, but with how she'd been acting in the last couple years, it was just impossible to choose her. Another mutual friend was determined to stay friends with both, and has since given up because it really just puts you in the middle and everyone wants to know what the other one is saying about them. So she ended up making the other choice. Not fun.

    But anyway, I'll have to choose Jen, because while we don't know each other well, Ben is a total stranger to me. Sorry, Ben, nothing personal.

  7. This is hilarious! I thought you were talking about your real friends in the post up until I saw the pictures. I'm team Jen all the way! Remember what Ben did to J. Lo- they cancelled their engagement the day of their wedding when everyone was in town for it! So he doesn't have the greatest track record with relationships.

    Also, I'm on BOTH team Nick and team Jessica. I love them both.. still can't pick a side in that one!

  8. It's hard, especially when you're so close to them. But I'm with you, Ben for the win.

  9. I'm devastated by this news. And i refuse to choose.. so i remain switzerland on this issue.

  10. I'm with you. Loved 13 Going on 30, but Armageddon was my most favourite thing ever (for little ol' 15 year old me) and even in the dark days of Gigli, Ben was always my guy. It's Ben. Hands down.

  11. the news of their divorce really upset me. If Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard ever split up, I'll lose all faith in humanity.

    Midwest Darling

  12. Keep both, but make it crystal clear to both, that you will always be the friend of both, even when they seperate. You'll find out yourself who will contact you to do things, when things settle down.

  13. It's so hard to choose so I'm not going to.

    I love Ben in Dazed & Confused (he won me over then too), The Town, Jersey Girl, Good Will Hunting, Pearl Harbor, Gone Girl, Bounce, Forces of Nature, Man About Town, and many others. There hasn't been many movies of his I didn't like. I still need to see Runner Runner.

    I love Jen in 13 Going on 30 (the best!), Catch & Release, Valentine's Day. I really want to see Draft Day & the Alexander movie she's in. I watched Men, Women, & Children a few nights ago and she was so different in that movie (an overprotective mother to the 9th degree).

  14. Although if I had to choose, it would be Ben. Simply because I've loved him as an actor since I was little and he's always been one of my favorite actors, even though he's a Red Sox fan. ;)

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  16. I really, really, really, really, really love Ben in Pearl Harbor..but I feel like I have more love for movies that Jen's been in. 13 Going on 20, Catch and Release, Draft Day..I mean, I feel like I have to go with Jen. Forgive me, Ben.

  17. I have to go with Jen probably because she can be super fun and quirky like in 13 Going on 30 but then she can totally kick ass like she did in Alias.

  18. I must admit I am totally devastated by this divorce also. I feel like if Ben and Jen can't make it work, how am I going to make it work when I find my Ben? I mean, the obvious choice is Ben because of that adorable butt chin.

  19. Ben all the way. I really did think they would last forever though :(

  20. I love this post!!! I am totally with you. All Ben!! Also still having a hard time with Nick and Jess... I loved them together... LOL

  21. Maybe it shouldn't have, but this break up really shocked me too!

    I have to go with Ben simply because I'm more familiar with his work than Jen's. I loved her in Juno and in what I've seen of Alias, but Ben and I simply have more history together. I hope she understands.

  22. No one :( You don't have to choose.

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  24. All these divorces lately are really bumming me out! I was SO sad to hear about Blake and Miranda! BTW, I'm on Team Jen all the way!

    Melissa // So About What I Said...