Tomorrow is D day. As in dress day.
My mom and sister are coming to Chicago and we're going wedding dress shopping... And I am very nervous about it. I'm not nervous about finding the perfect dress! I'm nervous about the process of it. About where to start. About having sales women throw 100 things at me that I don't like. About trying on 500 dresses when I don't really enjoy trying on dresses in the first place.
I also hate dressing rooms. No matter how hard I try to look cute before I go shopping, when I get in a dressing room there's not enough bronzer or brow pencils in the world to make me feel okay about myself.
And I know I won't be in normal dressing rooms tomorrow, I can only assume from what I've seen in movies they'll be super fancy with plush white carpet and a little stage I stand on so I can twirl in the mirror and gush this is it! when I've found the perfect one. But still, the fact remains I hate dressing rooms.
They make me insecure.
Is it the lighting? The mirrors? The small enclosed space? What is it about dressing rooms that make me feel like the troll version of myself? Like instead of trying on beautiful white gowns I should actually be living in a hole under a bridge asking people to solve a riddle before they cross.
Or perhaps dressing rooms make me see the real version of myself, but in the comfort of my own home I see myself for who I think I am- Jennifer Lawrence of course.
But alas, I'm going in with a good attitude tomorrow. It's the only way I'll survive.
I'm not even going to notice the fact my face looks like one of those kids from the Proactive commercials right now. Or that I've been so stressed lately my TMJ has caused the entire left side of my jaw leading up to my ear to swell. None of it matters. Tomorrow is about dreams. And drinking a lot of champagne.
And if all else fails maybe I can just dig out my prom dress from 2004. It was kind of a big deal.
If you google "ugly prom dresses" it shows up. It also graces this list "20 Horrible Prom Dresses." Like I said, A BIG DEAL.
And now I'm going to go lay in a tanning bed for 100 hours so I can achieve that awesome orange glow I used to rock in high school. Also belly button jewelry. Are those still a thing?! I'm dying over here. So many good choices.