I have a really important message I need to share with you. I'm using this photo of Harlow because I think he looks really important and will help convey the importance of this important message.
It's regarding Facebook. If you want to keep your Facebook private or free or from blowing up in your face you have to read this. Don't worry, I'll explain everything and even break it down line by line for you.
Now it's official! It has been published in the media.
Anything "published in the media" is official. Please don't ever forget that, the media is very important and official. They always tell the truth and know what's going on, especially when it comes to Facebook and the like.
Facebook has just released the entry price: $5.99 to keep the subscription of your status to be set to "private".
Starting some day very soon in the near far future, you're going to have to pay at least $6 to someone in the near far future to keep your Facebook posts private to just your 2,500 online friends. This is very scary stuff, if you're sharing important photos on the internet that you want to be kept private, you better listen up.
If you paste this message on your page, it will be offered free (paste not share) if not tomorrow, all your posts can become public.
The robots will check and they will know if you shared and didn't paste. So for the LOVE OF GOD, PASTE. Oh my gosh. Because if you don't, all of those photos you're sharing on the internet that you don't want some people to see, well they're going to become PUBLIC. All of your posts that you have indeed put out there (online and not just kept to yourself like you could have) they're going to be public. Which we just can't have. I don't know about you, but I don't update my status for the world to see. It's for my eyes only.
Even the messages that have been deleted or the photos not allowed.
Do you not understand the seriousness of this nature?! All of those life threatening messages you chose to send via Facebook messenger will be out there for the world. Your bank accounts, your social security, your STD history, everything you have willingly put online, will indeed be online.
After all, it does not cost anything for a simple copy and paste.
But the cost to not simply copy and paste? Do I even have to say it? Your children lives are at stake here. Do not do that to the children you love posting photos of online.
As of September 28 2015 4:05 Eastern standard time, I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, or posts, both past and future.
It is currently September 29 2015 11:01 a.m. central standard time, are you too late? May God be with us all.
By this statement, I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, or take any other action against me based on this profile and/or its contents.
A statement like this PASTED (not shared) on your Facebook wall is just about as official as something gets.
The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute).
Never second guess the Rome Statue. It wasn't built in a day, you know?
NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity.
Did you note this? If you didn't, please do so now.
All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version.
JUST DON'T SHARE IT.
If you do not publish a statement at least once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as the information contained in the profile status updates.
Remember when you pasted something like this to your wall last year? And the year before? And the year before? None of those matters. Only this one does. If you don't, Facebook can sell all of those photos of you and your husband on your honeymoon making weird honeymoon friends with Trish and David from Nevada taking shots by the pool that one day you got really crazy and acted all goofy and put on a sombrero and then Trish drank a little too much tequila and passed out under her lawn chair! Do you know how much money Facebook will make off of a photo like that? MILLIONS. Do not do that to Trish and David.
DO NOT SHARE. You MUST copy and paste.
Please do this, all of your Facebook friends deserve to know.
If you think I'm an asshole for posting this I am okay with that, I'm willing to take one for the team in order to get this important message across to the public.