What I Did Last Week Instead of Attending NYFW

Did anyone else happen to catch wind of the fact NYFW was going on last week?

I think I saw an Instagram or two about it. Or maybe it was a Tweet. Or five million snapchats. I’m not sure.

Regardless, any blogger who is anyone was running all over New York last week posting about every second of it. And I ate it up. Parties and shows and “pure craziness” oh my! Wouldn’t it be fun to be at an all blogger party and just see a bunch of pretty girls not talking to each other but just constantly posting on their phones?

I kid, I kid.

But seriously, I can’t help but get all giggly when I think of New York last week and all of the blogger photo shoots happening on every single corner. Do they bring their own photographers I wonder? Because I don’t think I could get Chris on board with that. He’d take two photos of me with my eyes closed and then say, okay let’s go to a bar now.

But I really think I want to go next year just to see how many photos I can accidentally show up in the background. Until then, here’s what I did last week instead of attending NYFW.

I made a mockery out of trying on wedding dresses. Naturally. Although I did buy one … Details to come.

I spoke with someone from the student loan bank and found out that I’ll have (one) of my student loans paid off in just 15 years! Can you imagine? 2030 is going to be an awesome year. Drinks on me!

I created a Fan Duel account. Those damn commercials are so catchy. I could win $30,000 without doing a thing!

I ate a lot of this monkey bread. It was warm and buttery and very healthy.

I also ate cereal from a large rectangular tupperware. Unloading the dishwasher just seemed too overwhelming, you know?

I bought new sheets. Why is buying new sheets such a thrill? WHY?

I bar hopped with my dad on his birthday.

I sent a lot of questionable snapchats on Saturday. For some reason I think it’s fun to treat that app as the anti-Instagram and find it amusing to send the worst possible images/videos of myself.

I got called “baby” by the toothless homeless man outside of 7/11 and didn’t hate it.

I drank bloody marys for three days in a row.

I took this photo of Harlow giving someone some major side eye. This photo cracks me up. I can only imagine what little Judge Judy Harlow is thinking.

And I also took this glamour shot and remembered why I’m not invited to NYFW…

Instead I’ll just have to hit up New York in four weeks and tell some jokes at the comedy festival. New Yorkers, get at me. Where should I stay? What should I do? I’ll be there October 21-25 doing a little standup at Broadway Comedy Club.

k thanks bye.

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14 Comments

  1. September 16, 2015 / 9:35 am

    excuse me, what is new york fashion week? never heard of it.

  2. September 16, 2015 / 11:19 am

    Your weekend sounded like better and more fun ( more fun is ok, right? I know funner is out but more fun..?) then NYFW. Also, I've tried a Bloody Mary, because of your blog subliminal messages that they're the Best drink ever, at a place that claimed to have the best in Austin, and I couldn't get into it. Did you always have a taste for them? Is it an acquired taste? Any tips on how to make one amazing? I want to like them! A dose of Veggies and alcohol before 3 pm would make me a whole lot less guilty while consuming hundreds of calories at brunch! Geesh brunch! Obsessed. Anyways glad you had a great weekend even though it wasn't at the NYFW! 😉

  3. September 16, 2015 / 11:19 am

    What would be Harlow's face the whole time at NYFW. Also, I have no clue what happened to my last comment, so I'm giving Blogger the Harlow judgy look right now.

  4. September 16, 2015 / 12:29 pm

    I think your week sounds better than NYFW! And I need your blanket scarf! I went there today and it is not there, so I will have to stalk them online so we can be twins…ha.

  5. September 16, 2015 / 2:16 pm

    Crazy side note but your dad looks famous..like I've seen him before…

  6. September 16, 2015 / 4:31 pm

    That monkey bread doeeee. And I just can't fathom NYFW…too much for me. Your week looks like a lot more fun 🙂

  7. September 16, 2015 / 9:39 pm

    I finally found a good bloody mary here – Vic's in Noho, but no beer back. The midwest does it best. Any who, let me know how to come and cheer for you. My husband laughs super loud when given beer.

    I just want one of those little bottle of Miller High Life that I can bring to Vic's in my purse. Sorry, I'm distracted. Keep me posted.

  8. September 17, 2015 / 8:54 am

    Bar hopping with your dad sounds kind of fabulous!

  9. September 18, 2015 / 8:04 pm

    Have drinks at Latitude on 8th Ave btw 47 and 48th and have dinner at Asia de Cuba, pricey, but oh so worth it!

  10. October 28, 2015 / 8:04 pm
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