25 Things I Love/Hate About Hocus Pocus

Monday, October 19, 2015

Of course I love this movie, it wouldn't be right if I didn't. However there are a few inconsistencies going on that I can't deny. Such as...



The fact the cat's name is Thackery. Shouldn't his sister's name be Themily, then?

When Jay and Ice steal Max's super ugly shoes and not his bike.

Also Jay and Max are psychos or pedophiles or something. Who steals candy from a young Thora Birch?

When Max and Dani just walk into Allison's house uninvited. I don't know how they do things in LA, but in Salem you should knock first.

And then Max says the title of the movie right when he lights the damn candle. Noooooo.

When Dani pretends to be a "real" little witch and says "hello sisters." I LOVE THIS PART.

Thackery suddenly talks. But WHY didn't he talk hundreds of years ago to tell his dad he was a cat?

If Winifred can wake any dead person in the cemetery to help her, why choose her scorned ex lover, Billy? I feel like she could have made a much better choice.

Mary the Witch only has five lines in the entire movie, all of which are delivered from the side of her mouth.

The creepy bus driver who doesn't wince when the witches say that want children, but instead lets them ride for free.

Binx gets hits by a bus then lives. Yay! He lives forever. Until he doesn't.

The devil and his cranky wife eating a bowl full of Cheeto puffs. If my husband let in three random women dressed like witches and then started slow dancing with one of them in the living room I would be livid.

"Sisters look, tis the chocolate covered finger of a man named Clark." CLASSIC!

The "I put a spell on you" dance number. How come only the kids realize it's a spell?

Furthermore, I really wish we could have watched the scene just before dawn when the spell isn't broken yet and all of the parents are still dancing all haggard and strung out. I imagine them all just crying and puking, like "why are we still here? what's wrong with us?"

The witch burning scene which is immediately followed by Max, Dani and Allison dancing in the street clapping and shouting in joy? I think if I just watched three people burn I'd be a little upset over it- even if they were evil. I would probably need some major counseling and stuff.

When Allison stayed at Max's house until 5 a.m.! I feel like her parents don't care about her at all. It's not like they were at the town hall under the spell, either. They were at their stuffy old fashioned party.

And then she just let the witches take Dani without even trying to stop them.

Also "Come Little Children" is pretty damn catchy. I might walk off into the woods too if I heard it.

But it's 5 a.m. why in the hell isn't anyone else on the street wondering why all of these possessed children are walking around without any supervision?

When Winifred jokingly asks Max for his "drivers permit" when he's driving and she sneaks up on him on her broom. And yet just a few hours ago she thought a road was a black river. So...

The moment Dani gets a weird crush on Billy the zombie. "Hi Billy." Dani, you can do better.

And then she gets a crush on Binx when he comes back as the boy from Three Men and a Baby.

Finally we see Binx run off to the after world with his little sister, Themily at his side, played by a young Julianne Moore.

All is right in Salem. And Jay and Ice will most likely die of dehydration and starvation in their tiny cages.

Next week we'll discuss Double, Double Toil and Trouble. This movie is DARK.


33 comments:

  1. So I watched this last night and had a lot of the same thoughts, especially about the drivers permit comment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is hilarious. Everything you say is 100% on point.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My favorite part is when Dani says "Hello sisters!" Let's be honest though, those witches could have just turned them all into cats, and gotten their book back. It didn't even require a potion, just some jazz hands!

    ReplyDelete
  4. best holiday movie. in fact, i'm going to watch it ASAP. That song is damn catchy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. oh my goodness YES! i had a good majority of these thoughts when i watched this last week. most glaring to me are them not knocking when entering allison's house (and it's my favorite line when danni comments on her yabos), the driver's permit and the 5am slumber party on stairs! what. i also now need to see the scene of all the parents dancing through the night. good call!

    ReplyDelete
  6. 13 Nights of Halloween starts tonight on ABC Family and you best believe I have already DVR'd this one for tonight. This is 100% the best recap I've ever seen of this movie. Everything you said is absolutely accurate. I think "Come Little Children" is catchy too. No judgement.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I really hope you're not joking about Double, Double Toil and Trouble.
    Shake your bottom if you got'em.

    ReplyDelete
  8. That part where Winnie asks about the driver's permit always bugged me, too. I mean, what the hell?

    Also, when the witches come out of the kiln, not burned to a crisp, but just hot and very pissed is comic gold. Seriously. How did Bette Midler not even get an Oscar nomination for this movie. She's hysterical.

    ReplyDelete
  9. cannot. stop. laughing! so many of the same thoughts occurred to me. still, nothing beats hocus pocus this time of year!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I watched this last night! My husband and I were pointing a lot of these things out to each other, but it's just SO worth it to watch this movie just for Bette. We may or may not mimic her the entire time...

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is too funny. I haven't watched this movie in too long, I need to see it again!

    Emma | Seeking the South

    ReplyDelete
  12. Man I need to watch this movie again. Like yesterday, or three weeks ago... I'm so behind on all things Halloween!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I LOVE this movie!! I can't believe it's almost halloween time!

    Her Heartland Soul
    http://herheartlandsoul.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. I HATE Hocus Pocus. Like, to the point that I feel a little bit stabby about it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Now I need to watch this movie! I remember the first time I saw it when I was little I was terrified. Glad I got over my fears of Hocus Pocus.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I have noticed a bunch of these too.. haha! Makes it even better to watch!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I haven't seen Hocus Pocus in forever, but after reading this I definitely need to watch it! I'm going to read this again after I watch it!

    Kristin
    The Blush Blonde

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thackery has always pissed me off -- it's such a terrible name

    ReplyDelete
  19. Great timing, I just watched this movie over the weekend -- one of my Halloween traditions!

    http://www.mintnotion.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. I just watched Hocus Pocus last week and continually repeated the "chocolate covered finger of a man named Clark" line, haha.

    The inconsistencies definitely make me laugh, but I'll love HP for the rest of my life :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I just found out the guy who played Thackery Binx is on NCIS now and my mind was about blown. I can't get over that. And now every time I watch Hocus Pocus that's all I see.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Haha there are so many inconsistencies and goofs in the movie! But who cares... it's amazing! My favorite part of Halloween :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I made sure I recorded this last night. I can't wait to watch it with a bottle (erm glass) of wine.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Is it bad that I didn't read your post but salivated over the cupcake instead? What bakery did you purchase it? I'm heading to Chicago in two weeks and plan to visit my favorite Sweet Mandy B's but I'm always open to more bakeries.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I finally bought this movie and can't wait to watch it!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I've lived in Salem for 3.5 years now, and hadn't watched Hocus Pocus until last year!!!! Now I'm obsessed with recreating the scenes and trying to find what house / school / gov't building they used in the movie... we also had american hustle film here... my biggest regret of life is not finding JLaw or Bradley.... womp womp

    ReplyDelete
  27. even better is the bus driver responding to "we desire children" with "well it might take me a couple of tries"

    ReplyDelete
  28. I thought the boy/cat's name was Zachary all this time... I feel like my whole life is a lie.

    ReplyDelete
  29. hahha ok first of all since this is my favorite movie of course I love this post. So funny. Also, my boyfriend and I dressed up as the devil and his grumpy wife for Halloween this year. (we went to the disney halloween party which had a new Hocus Pocus stage show this year, so it was appropriate)

    ReplyDelete