Bring Your Anxiety To Work Day

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

There's something in the air right now that's making me a little loopy. Maybe it's the season changing? I think it throws me off course. That has to be it... right?


Yesterday I had a dark doomsday cloud following me almost the entire day. Every corner I turned something new popped up for me to worry about. It was unsettling. And exhausting.

I'd say that 97% of the time I'm extremely optimistic. Like too optimistic, in fact. I fully expect the very best outcome. And yet every once in awhile when I let my guard down all of the bad thoughts sneak up on me all at once as if to say boo, we're gonna get you!

I think the worst of it started yesterday at the park when a women literally jumped off her bike just so she could pet Harlow. Vizla owner, I figured. It's not that weird, I'd probably do it. But then she told me she had just put her Vizsla down last week. He was ten.

"I'm so sorry, that's pretty young, isn't it?" I asked.

"Not really, the average age for a Vizsla is 9.8."

Um, come again? What's the .8 nonsense? Better yet, why did she know this? And then I realized that when her best friend was dying she was probably googling every thing she could find out about Vizsla deaths, just like I would.

The thought of only having five more years with Harlow didn't sit well with me.

But five years isn't guaranteed with anyone. (See that thought right there? That's the doomsday cloud speaking.)

Nothing is guaranteed. Life is all just so unpredictable and out of out anyone's control. And that's what is great about it. You can plan and hope and try your best, but you just never know. And that's terrifying- said the dark cloud.

Around 3:00 p.m. I was at the park yet again, this time lying on the ground staring up at the sky asking the world why I was so put off today.



But for a second I wasn't in Chicago. It was 2002 and I was at track practice. Lying in the field staring at the same blue sky, asking the exact same question. "Who am I? I don't know." (I really hope someone gets that movie reference. Jeni?)  I hated track so I did this all the time; I'd just lie in the grass and look up and wonder what came next, until one of the coaches would see me and yell "go do some more build ups!" or something.

That was fifteen years ago.

What have I done in the past fifteen years? Why is time going so fast? I need to do more. More what? I don't know. Someone tell me what to do. How to do it. I should be more successful by now. But what does that mean? Everyone is doing better. They know something I don't. Why don't I own a house? How come I can't make it? Everyone else is making it. Why is blogging feeling so weird lately? Why does blogging even matter? Do I have to play keep up? Why am I  even complaining? I have it so good. Is Harlow really only around for five more years? Because based on time that's like only two seconds. Oh. No.... 

Take. A. Breath.

And welcome to my mind, yesterday.

Don't worry. I'm not having a breakdown. Just a Monday.

There's a good chance this all started with the movie I watched this past weekend: Up. The first four minutes of that movie shatters me every damn time. Why does Ellie have to die? Whenever I watch it I'm like Roberta from Now and Then screaming "Why'd She Have to Die?! Why?!"

What I'm trying to say is, please tell me someone else participated in Bring Your Anxiety To Work Day yesterday and I wasn't the only one. It was a thing, right?

It was a thing.

So anyway.... How 'bout them Cubs?

27 comments:

  1. i think this time of year brings this out in me too. especially the keeping up part. lately i'm freaking out that im just not doing enough. we both know we need to focus on what we love and that we really do have it good.

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  2. Mine is like, "Bring your anxiety to every day life." You're doing great. Stop watching sad movies.

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  3. How about those Cubs! LOL, no I understand completely, I see all my friends doing great and fun things and I feel like I'm going no where.

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  4. Not to sound like Tom Cruise, but try taking Vitamin D -- maybe its all in my head but I find that it helps with the seasonal-changes anxieties and whatnot. And if it doesn't really do anything at least it helps your bones!

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  5. HOW ABOUT THOSE CUBBIES!!!!!!!!! But, let's not get too excited. They are the Cubs after all. Fingers crossed though!

    Also, I used to get into a funk every fall too. I don't know what it is, but I do think the change of seasons has something to do with it. Hang in there!!

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  6. You are definitely not alone! I had a similar mindset yesterday. And a lot lately, to be honest. Life and blogging and growing up are weird. But for what it's worth, I think you're doing great!

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  7. Yep I totally participated! I'm normally right there with you totally optimistic to the point that it's ridiculous. I always expect the very best outcome. However for the past week or so I've been walking around completely anxious and over analyzing and worried that I'm somehow failing at life. It comes and goes but just kind of got to roll with that I suppose.

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  8. I've been feeling that way recently, as well--you're definitely not alone! As far Harlow, I know it's tough, but you cannot even allow yourself to think about that. Every time I start to think about the day when my dog gets old, I push that thought away, because otherwise I will be upset for days.

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  9. i had a terrible and similar day last monday. youre def not alone.

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  10. Glad I'm not the only one that has those days... but this typically happens to me on Sunday nights when I'm trying to sleep. I'll lay awake all night with random thoughts and worries flooding my head. I'll be thinking about what I'm going to wear to work the next day and that'll turn into worrying about having time to do laundry the next day because I'm so busy.. and the next thing I know I'm on my phone looking up one way plane tickets to Berumda because I think I'm a failure since can't properly budget laundry time into my schedule... it's a slippery slope. Lately I've been telling myself to "stfu and relax" and that actually helps.. I think swearing at yourself kind of jolts you into realizing how ridiculous you're being. Try it! lol

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  11. Ha....yes, to all of this. My oldest French Bulldog, Crash, will be 10 in January. And guess what their lifespan is? 8-10. I can't even fathom that. Even though he is a nightmare sometimes, he has been in my life as long as my husband has and I couldn't imagine losing my husband that quickly...omg, I seriously need to stop typing all of this before I start crying at work.

    Anywho....we are basket cases right now I suppose. Tis the season!

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  12. I feel like this all the time lately. Like what exactly am I doing with my life? I feel like it's this weird thing that must happen to everyone when they realize they graduated college 5 years ago?!?....

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  13. You're definitely not alone. When I get anxious, it's usually at night when I should be falling asleep. Out of nowhere I'll be wide awake wondering why I don't have a solid plan for the future. It's terrifying.

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  14. Yay for Zoolander quotes!

    Yay for the Cubs!

    And yeah...anxiety sucks. I've had severe anxiety my whole life, so for me it's not just a Monday, it's every damn day.

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  15. Aww when Roberta asks that it's SO sad, total tearjerker and perfect way to describe that feeling. I think Mondays bring up this kind of feeling because there you are - going to work even though you want to be free like you are on the weekends to really enjoy life and carpe diem and all that shit. But you can't, because you have to work. At least you got to go outside and look up at a beautiful tree and weren't stuck in a cubicle and can't go outside because it's too damn hot. My world, sorry. Appreciate what you have I suppose. Let's hear it for Tuesdays!

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  16. OMG When I think about something happening to Judy, part of me just dies inside. When our old Lab died, I laid in bed for two weeks crying. It was awful.

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  17. It has really been a "bring your anxiety to every aspect of life" kind of year. I have had more anxiety this year than other other year that I could remember. Fall used to soothe me, so I am pretty disappointed that I am still swimming in my own emotions.

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  18. Hormones, getting older, getting married...who knows, hon! Life can feel like an unsolved riddle a lot of the time but be thankful you are having these thoughts. Sometimes those "who am I" kind of questions help you make sure you are on the right path. Consider it a great time for reflection as to where you are now and where you want to be. This is all good stuff, my friend! Yay for the Cubbies AND the Royals!

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  19. Welcome to my life...every single day. Doomsday happens more often than not for me (thanks, grad school applications!). When you have moments like that, remember to do exactly what you did...take a breath! You got dissss. And Harlow will live to be 100...don't listen to the naysayers.

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  20. Definitely had an anxious day yesterday too and ended up not getting much sleep because it was all doomsday cloud up in my brain! Hope tomorrow is much better, friend!

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  21. I can't even think about losing my cat. I've been feeling pretty blah and gloomy too lately! Not fun. Here's hoping we both feel better!

    Her Heartland Soul
    http://herheartlandsoul.com

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  22. Ugh, I know all too well what you're talking about. And just reading this made me comforted and anxious all at the same time. It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one feeling this way so no, you were NOT the only one who brought your anxiety to work yesterday! Except I don't have work so it was bring your anxiety to unemployment day for me.

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  23. Completely had a day like that Monday. Freaking out about work and family stuff and we are in the midst of buying a house and the inspection was the next day so I was terrified it would be awful. On top of that I had an emergency dentist appointment which turned into "You need a root canal" aka more money and I've never had one. Call my husband on the way home hyperventilating and crying while he was telling me everything would be ok. He's a keeper.

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  24. Hey friend, we all have those days. Days like that just suck the life right out of you. I used to have days like that everyday but I'm doing much better thankfully. It was exhuasting!

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