Girl Walks Into a Pumpkin

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Trader Joe's should just change their name to Trader Pumpkins right now.

I walked in there yesterday and was greeted by a stand of pumpkins next to pumpkin cereal next to pumpkin bagels next to an employee wearing a pumpkin shirt. But when I looked closer I saw the employee was actually just a pumpkin pretending to be a person. Or maybe we're all just people trying to be pumpkins?! MAYBE. I don't even know anymore.

Now don't get me wrong here, I like the pumpkin stuff- in moderation.

But it's all gotten to be a little much though,  hasn't it? Or no? Perhaps some day our children will look back and say,

"I heard there was a time when food wasn't pumpkin flavored."

"What do you mean, I don't get it?"

"Like instead of pumpkin pita chips, they were just ... pita chips."

"No way. I don't believe it. Gross."

"I know. How basic, right?"

Sometimes when I walk into places like Trader Joes, or Whole Foods, or anywhere in America right now really, I worry there's some sort of pumpkin takeover happening. *possible band name: The Pumpkin Takeover. 

We should stop worrying about robots, aliens, and zombies and see what's happening right in front of our faces. The PUMPKINS are making their move. They're forcing grown women to play in their patches and the women admit they don't even know why they're there.

"I just saw a patch and we had to stop. I don't even know why. But this is the most fun ever." 

(*actual dialogue I saw on Snapchat.)

I almost went to a patch the other day but I stopped myself and asked "WHY?" The only response I had was "to Instagram it" so I slapped myself with some cold water and went back to hiding in my house.

I predict next year at this time the newest thing women will be sporting is the patch. As in the pumpkin patch. They'll be wearing it on their arm or behind their ear to get their fix. I think I just wrote a new fall inspired joke...

"I used to have no control over my cravings. If I didn't get my pumpkin fix right when I needed it, I was a crazy person. I'd just start taking photos of pumpkins wherever I saw them. One time I actually climbed into a pumpkin just to be closer to pumpkins.

I tried to stop, but I felt dizzy and couldn't stop vomiting. Thanks to the Pumpkin Patch, my life belongs to me again."

Anyway. I can't think of a better way to end this post than by sharing some of my favorite #thedailybasic (almost all PUMPKIN related) photos from the past week.

This feed is so good it warms my pumpkin heart. I hope you enjoy it too. These girls really knocked it out of the park, if you're not following them, you should.

First photo was taken at Trader Joe's. (I had to, the pumpkins made me do it.)









That's it. I'm off to write a sketch for the Pumpkin Patch that I will later perform only for Harlow's entertainment. 

See ya!


  1. I literally went to Trader Joe's last week and bought like five pumpkin items, and some aren't even that good. Surprising, I know. The pumpkin spice harvest granola is pretty terrible, but I felt extra basic buying it, which is all that matters.

    Anita ::

  2. Love the idea for a pumpkin "patch" for pumpkin cravings!

  3. Lol this is funny! It's crazy how many products are now "pumpkin" flavored! x,kenz

  4. Hahha YESS thanks for the feature! I was actually at Trader Joes with my husband and I forgot my phone so I had to ask to borrow his to take that picture and he was so confused. So now I can at least tell him I'm famous on The Daily Tay today haha. I was like, "no you don't get it, I'm making fun of fall. It's funny, trust me." I cannot believe that store right now. I don't know if they've always been that way, but they are taking it just a BIT too far. Also, at Walgreens yesterday I saw pumpkin spice chapstick. I couldn't believe that one. And there was only one left, so clearly people are buying it. It's like some kind of drug.

    x. Morgan

    1. umm you may just see a sponsored post about pumpkin chapstick on here very soon lol...

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. hahaha I hope you're serious. (had to edit that previous reply, I used "your".. I'm the fracking worst at comments.)

  5. I just got the TJ's Fearless Flyer in the mail yesterday and was shocked at all the pumpkin items. Just to be hilarious, I started reading all of the pumpkin items out loud to my husband... there was at least 1 pumpkin item per page, with some pages having 5 pumpkin items. You are so brave to see the pumpkin madness in person.

    However, I have been gifted with pumpkin cookie butter, so I guess I have been infected with the "basic" as well.

  6. I don't know what it says about me when I saw your Trader Joe's Pumpkin selection photo and immediately thought to myself "This is 100% my aesthetic." I've lost myself to basic. You win, T.Swift and cream colored converse. You win.

  7. I hate all things pumpkin. I wanna punch all the pumpkin obsessed instagrammers and facebookers. Ugh.

  8. Seriously, TJ's is definitely the worst with the whole pumpkin takeover. I'm with you- pumpkin... in moderation. I'm not looking to get the patch. ;)


  9. This just made me recognize that I've been sucked into the damn pumpkin scam. I was thinking today, I should get some props for my makeup photos. Oh! I'll go get some tiny pumpkins. I feel slightly ashamed, but also like I'm going to do it anyway.... help lol

  10. Damn TJs man. I gave into the pumpkin craze and bought pumpkin joe-joes (which were totally worth it) but I still am not sure about this takeover. I mean 3 years ago it wasn't this bad right? Why now, why the push? For now I'm embracing it but I'm with you - I have my worries too.

  11. I know whose Snapchat that was and I had the same whatthefuckery thought. Thankfully, there is not a pumpkin to be seen here in Hawaii.

  12. We took the kids to a corn maze last weekend and steered as far away from the pumpkins as possible. I felt like a bad blogger.

  13. I went to Bath and Body works the other day and they were selling Pumpkin Spice perfume. Maybe we have taken this pumpkin thing a little too far! There are so many other good things about fall, like Caramel Apples, that are getting overlooked.

  14. I honestly haven't been into pumpkin anything this fall--haven't even bought a PSL yet! I feel like that is the secret hipster inside of me, thinking "I used to like pumpkin before it was popular--but then it had to sell out and now it's not as good."

  15. I don't care how basic i am, i am into pumpkins. but i have yet to go to trader joe's. i need to change that. ASAP.

  16. I haven't gone to Trader Joes yet but I just might because I think I'm slacking on pumpkin flavored stuff at home.

  17. #thedailybasic....this hashtag made my PSL-loathing self smile.

  18. I don't get the excitement surrounding pumpkin patches either. We don't all go and sit in a field of strawberries in the summer now do we?!

  19. I'm super basic, I love pumpkin everything this time of year!

    Her Heartland Soul

  20. Ummmmm....PUMPKIN BISCOTTI?! WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME. Brb driving 25 minutes to Trader Joe's. #BasicFoEva

  21. I hear there is a pumpkin shortage as in not enough canned pumpkin for Thanksgiving... This concerns me because I only really pumpkin pie and now that dream come true may die.

    Also, the "Pumpkin Patch" should be an SNL skit so please get to it!

  22. hahaha seriously tho. I saw pumpkin soup at TJ's. That doesn't even sound good. But I also don't like pumpkin anything unless it's pumpkin seeds. That's as basic as I get. I agree with Kristie, please write SNL that idea and offer to be the main character in the skit hahah it would be the most basic thing to do!
    xo C

  23. Girl... do you know about Matt Bellassai? You need to watch his latest video. You can find him on Facebook. Or on Buzzfeed's youtube under Whine about it. Hilarious!

  24. I'm going to Vala's on Sunday, and the only pumpkin I want to see are the ones we can pick to take home lol. Trader Joe's is the worst for Pumpkin. I actually saw pumpkin spice gum.... GUM.

  25. This is so perfect!

    And so basic.

  26. Definitely took a pumpkin shot and used the hashtag. You're welcome. Did you hear they're worried there will be a pumpkin shortage this year and no one will be able to make pumpkin pies this year for Thanksgiving?

  27. Ridiculously funny post. The pumpkin craze does not take over my body in Fall. I'll be one of the few not sporting the patch next year. Yuck, pumpkin.