When You Know You're Doomed

Monday, October 5, 2015

There's a few times in life when you just know things are bad and there's a good chance you're not going to make it.

One is when a private number calls your cell phone. When I see "blocked number" pop up on my iphone my stomach drops and I think, shit, they've found me. Who's found me? I'm not sure. And that's the scary part.

Answering this call is like going to your front door when the door bell is ringing manically at 3:00 a.m. You just know you're probably going to die.

The second time is when you're watching TV alone, it's usually dark, probably storming, and suddenly the TV goes fuzzy. This hasn't happened for a while, but being a child of the 90s, I knew the blizzard screen all too well. And every time it happened I was just waiting for the poltergeists to come out and take me.

And then there's what happened to me a few nights ago. Let me set the scene for you.


It's a nice scene, right? I was enjoying myself.

I had just dropped Chris off at the airport for a quick golf/hunt/fish/man trip. I had the night to myself and was ready to write 1000 pages on my book. Instead I binged on Netflix and pizza for five hours. Such is life.

I went to bed around midnight with a lamp on in my living room, and in my bathroom, and in the kitchen. I like to keep the house well lit when I'm alone. I turned on the fan for some white noise and settled in for a nice sleep.

And then 30 minutes later I woke up because the fan stopped. I reached down to make sure it was still plugged in, and it was. So I got up to turn on the light to see what was going on. And when I flipped the light switch nothing happened. That's when I looked into my hall and saw nothing. I saw nothing because my apartment was pitch black. Not only were my lamps off, the street lights that usually rush in through the big front windows weren't blaring off my walls like they usually do, either.

Everything was black. The electricity was out.

My first thought was logical: someone was trying to kill me. So far they were doing a good job. I could feel my blood pressure rise and knew there was a good chance I'd die of a heart attack in the next two minutes anyway.

Harlow's not a fan of the dark either.  So when I crept back to bed realizing I was probably safer under my blankets, rather than anywhere else, he literally laid right on top of me. His face as close to my face as possible. A protector dog he is not.

And so I laid in bed under every blanket, with a 70  lb dog on my head, breathing right into my face. Because if there's anything I learned as a child, as long as you're under a blanket you're probably safe.

And then the ghost noises started. Without a fan to make a little background music, I heard every creak, squeak, and boo in our ancient apartment. I wanted to turn on my rain machine on my phone but my battery was at 12%.  I just couldn't risk it because I knew I had to conserve battery for the moment I would have to call 911- which was obviously going to happen at some point in the night.

Long story short, I survived (barely.) The electricity popped on around 5:45 a.m. announcing its return by blasting every light I had tried to turn on during the middle of the night.

Chris is back from his man trip and all is right again.

All is right except for the fact it's Monday.

24 comments:

  1. I always have good intentions of doing something productive after work or on my days off and then it's 10pm and I've watched like 6 hours of Netflix. Whoops.

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  2. Haha I would have been sweating under the covers hard! My boyfriend had to go away for work last week and it was the first night I spent by myself in our new place. I left my closet light on and then one light on in every room with a window as if to tell the bad guys, someone in this place is awake, so maybe try the neighbors! I did have my dog who throws her hackles up and gets ready for action at the sight and sound of a candy wrapper blowing in the wind, but even she is likely no match for a poltergeist! Glad we both survived (barely).

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  3. I am the same way when my husband leaves! Every light stays on even if that means they keep me awake longer than if I would just turn them off.

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  4. Hahaha! What horrible timing that the electricity went out during the one weekend you were home alone.. especially at night!! I get so freaked out when I lose power!!

    theritzyglitzy.com

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  5. This is exactly me when my husband is traveling for work! I spend the entire time convinced that someone is breaking it to kill me. At night, I turn on all the fans and lock the bedroom door. Leia, our dog, is also agitated and nervous when Dave is gone. Though she normally rarely barks, she barks at every strange noise and creek when he's gone, further convincing me someone has broken in. I don't feel particularly equipped to fight off an intruder, so I usually just turn away from the bedroom door so I don't see my inevitable death coming. That's normal, right?

    Very Erin (http://veryerin.com)

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  6. It's weird that I lived all alone for nine years and loved every minute of it. But now that I finally have Eric as a legitimate roommate, it's like I forgot how to adult when he isn't around.

    Three cheers for useless guard-pets.

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  7. I am so glad that I am not the only one that panics with the blocked caller numbers! Also I have been there as well, when the power goes out and I can hear all the things in the house that I normally can't because I am listening to audio books....I freak myself out every time. The covers are your best protection!

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  8. Growing up in the country, our power would go out with pretty much every storm. At the first hint of rain we'd gather up all the candles and hunker down. I used to pretend we were actually living in the 1800's and would soon get to outside to slaughter the hog and play toss with his bladder, Laura Ingalls-style. I'm struggling to figure out if this is a more or less terrifying scene than someone trying to kill you....

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  9. Spent a good portion of book club Friday night discussing this exact scenario, and how each of us would handle it. Some of the ladies said they go venturing with flashlights to find the source of noises in the house when they're alone and in the dark. I was like HELL NO I pull the blanket up over my head, because obviously that's the safest thing to do. Duh.

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  10. Ahh what a night. I would've probably had a heart attack when all the lights came back on in the middle of the night. Yikes!

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  11. I literally had this same thing happen to me two weeks ago when my husband, Andrew, went out of town. I basically thought I was going to die too. Glad to know you made it through.

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  12. haha electricity going is the worst. It rarely happens but when it does - Ugh!

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  13. I always get the most freaked out when I'm home alone by myself, which is always when I tend to watch Criminal Minds and SVU. Definitely not a good combo! If I had woken up to the lights off, I would've thought the same thing that somebody was trying to murder me, except that my dog would've wondered why I was disturbing his sleep in order to cuddle!

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  14. So glad you were okay! :)

    Her Heartland Soul
    http://herheartlandsoul.com

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  15. This happened to me this weekend, too! My family was out of town and I came home from a blogger event to find my house completely in the dark, as well as part of our street. My first thought was, "This is how episodes of Criminal Minds start!" So, that was great.

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  16. There was a time when I was like that didn't like the house feeling so empty but now of course I am used to being home alone at night in fact it doesn't happen as often as I would like the last time was only this weekend just passed when Tim, Jessica and Leo went fishing

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  17. That is the worst! I hate waking up with no power when I'm alone. Like you I hear every noise and it takes me back to a horror movie. So glad it turned back on and all was well!

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  18. I don't consider myself to be afraid of the dark, but every time the power goes out, I panic. Can't explain it. Glad to hear you survived to tell the tale, and Harlow too! You were very brave protecting him all night.

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  19. Holy Poop. I can't believe you even reached down to check the fan. Don't you know murders LIVE under the bed. Glad to see you made it out of there alive.

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  20. I'm so thankful for blankets. They have saved me from certain death MANY times.

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  21. My mentality is that so long as lights are on, the killers think I'm still awake, thus harder to nab. I'm crazy and I know it.

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  22. I'm glad to hear that you survived, it was pretty iffy for a bit. Eeek! ;)

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  23. Another fabulous story. All things you said are true too. Good thing you didn't accidentally dangle your foot off the bed. Sure way for the boogie man to grab you or at least that's what my mind tells me.

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