The Lies We Tell Ourself On Social Media

Monday, November 9, 2015

Essena O'Neill.

Everyone is weighing in. Now I must too.

Quick recap for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about here.

-Essena is a gorgeous young Aussie.
-Gained social media fame for being a gorgeous young Aussie.
-Made lots of money posting photos of said gorgeous young body wearing pretty clothes on Instgram.
-Got sad because fame and money only made her more sad.
-Publicly decided to quit all social media (announced via social media.)
-Revealed SOCIAL MEDIA IS FAKE!!!
-World went nuts. (Lowly bloggers even started writing about her.)
-She got even more social media attention.
-Essena said thank you (via social media.)

This entire story feels like Clickhole material. It is, right?


On one hand, if she really did feel sad and lonely all of the time that sucks. I've heard famous beautiful people hurt just like us. (I don't believe it, but I've heard it.) But if Essena's outcry helps even a few teenage girls feel okay, then go Essena.

On the other hand... I have so many friends in Chicago who bust their ass working 2 or even 3 terrible jobs and when they feel sad and lonely the only thing we do is start group chats full of emojis and Matilda gifs of the fat kid eating chocolate cake.

So to each their own.

I feel like Essena announcing that social media is fake is kind of like when Kristin Cavallari pulled back the curtain at the end of The Hills and rode away on the motorcycle with Brody.

We were all like, ya ya we get it. 

We weren't all watching that awful show because we thought it was real. It's because it was fun to watch those annoying rich kids pretend to have real problems.

"I always have to order bikinis in a large for the top, and an extra small for the bottom. It's so hard!" -K Cav. Season one, Laguna Beach. I was done with her after that line.

But back to that beautiful Aussie.

Social media is what you make it. Somedays when I feel like self loathing I'll scroll the Insta blogger celebs and the real real celebs and feel pouty for a second.

Then I'll move on to my Insta Comedian celebs and Insta dog celebs and feel happy again.

But do I think it's a lie?

Yea, pretty much. I've come to the cynical conclusion that we're all just a bunch of bullshitters, on and off social media. Some of us are just better at it than others.

And now, inspired by Essena's extreme bravery, I would like to reveal five times I was a complete fraud on Instagram. Please go with me on this, I am very scared to come forward.

The time I said was in Taylor Swift's, Bad Blood, starring as Creepy. You guys, this was a lie. I wasn't really in her vide. I'm sorry.


The time I said in the caption that this is my neighbor's house. It's not. This is the side of a building painted to look like a house. Bloggers were really into posing in a front of painted buildings at the time so I followed suit.



I'm not even at a ballpark. I'm holding up my cup in front of a photo of a ballpark at an airport.


I'm not actually looking at the ground. I just wanted it to appear that I was.


And this one. I'm not really in London. It's actually the Chicago river and I just photoshopped the tower in there.


Wow. I feel like a weight has been lifted.

I'd also like to announce right now that I'm going to quit social media too. Not today. Or even tomorrow. But probably soon. Like next week maybe. So you should go follow me everywhere before I do.

Thank you for your support!

We're all brilliant.

35 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Ya, I was being sarcastic. This entire post is sarcastic.

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    1. hahaha I got it. i think people like to get upset about it but you're right we all lie, and honestly it's fine. like when i posed all the dogs together yesterday, they were actually all stuffed animals.

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    2. I love this post! And your sarcasm. And no way! All your photos fooled me! I thought for sure you were looking at the ground in that one!

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  3. hahahhaa omg love being reminded of that classic quote from laguna beach! also...your sarcasm keeps me coming back everyday.......can you please do another vlog sometime soon?!

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  4. lol. i like and GET your sarcasm. rock on girl! also kristin cav was the worst. i can't still hear her voice in my heard... "STE-VAAAAANN!!!!"

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  5. okay, but you can't quit, because where will harlow get blog famous? & because your sarcasm? on fleek as all the cool young kids say. Which I definitely am not, but whatever.

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  6. You should never ever ever quit social media. I enjoy reading about how much more perfect your life is than mine. That's also why I follow Jessica Biel on IG. I'd also like to see you do a whole series of Taylor Wolfe staring in music video premier posters.

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  7. I understand where she's coming from to a point, but all Social Media is fake! Nobody wants to know about my boring 8 hours that I spend in front of a computer at work, they would rather see pictures of the trips that I take or something pretty that I see. And like Helene said last week, the whole point of Instagram is pretty pictures, so of course that's what people are going to post.

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    1. I feel like if she wanted to quit, just quit. why the whole parade about it you know?

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  8. This post is hilarious and I totally get your sarcasm!

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  9. I loved this post! I always thought everyone knew that Instagram was a temptation rabbit hole of green-eyed envy, but, really, who doesn't love pretty pictures? Anyone who says they don't is really the fake one, I think!

    Melissa | So About What I Said

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  10. This line killed me: "We're not all watching this shit because we think it's real. It's because it's fun to watch annoying beautiful people pretend to have real problems."

    I mean, yeah. I feel for this girl so I am conflicted- but I think she can prove her point without making some grand announcement about social media. Is there anyone out there who really thinks we're all living in some fantasy world? I mean, I take pretty nice pics if I do say so myself, but I take a pretty fall scene and saturate the shit out of it so the colors are so vibrant and bold and yeah...beautiful. It's like a pretty girl wearing makeup - you're making something pretty, even prettier. Who cares? That's what Instagram is. Art. If you don't wanna participate, or you want to show things that are more 'real' - go right ahead.

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    1. Truthfully, I feel for her too. Instagram can be the worst sometimes. But that's only when I let it get the best of me. Essena will be fine. She'll get a modeling or movie contract and all will be okay.

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  11. Loved your post and its sarcasm! Also, about The Hills.. I HATED K. Cav but continued to watch every episode of every season. I actually miss The Hills! And I don't even care that many of the story lines were fake ;)

    theritzyglitzy.com

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  12. This whole debacle shows her age and lack of maturity. Book sales tell publishers what genres people like, likes on instagram tell retailers who has influence..it's only fake if you make it. There are plenty of celebrities that have a more "real" feed....

    And yes, LB! I remember watching episodes in the common room in college, boys and girls...we all loved to hate watch it!

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  13. This was delightful. I'm so glad you could come forward about your fake photos.

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  14. Hahaha I love this! I was also done with K. Cav at the point too. Team LC! haha : ]

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  15. Thank you for this. So.Hilarious.

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  16. I feel like Essena announcing that social media is fake is kind of like when Kristin Cavallari pulled back the curtain at the end of The Hills and rode away on the motorcycle with Brody.

    Also, tell us who your favorite comedians are! I want to start watching/ listening more... Joe Rogan always has hilarious people on his podcast.

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  17. Man, I miss The Hills..... :)

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  18. Lol did Kristen really ride off into the sunset with Brody?! I stopped watching that show when she got on honestly. But yes....this whole Essena thing....I think it's been good and bad (I wrote her some advice last week lol). I agree on one hand if she helps some young girls then that's amazing, but she also needs to help herself. And it sounds like the Internet is not a good place for her, like she's basically admitted, so she needs to just leave. For good. No more videos of herself explaining why she wasn't happy in the photos she shared (she's actually very depressing to listen so because I'm not sure what exactly she's so unhappy about) or trying to raise money for whatever it is she's raising money for. Just get offline and get happy. But, and this is kind of what I wrote about, she is so young, so I give her a pass that she didn't know social media wasn't real life. But she needs to learn from it and move on...like move on away from the Internet. But she won't. Guaranteed. Anyways- this was great and I love your sarcasm. I laughed it loud at the beer in front of the ball park sign. That is so perfect because you know things like that have been done lol.

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  19. i flipped off the tv when KC said that about her 'tough body' situation.

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  20. Loved your perspective and insight on this whole "scandal". At first this whole controversy really annoyed me because all of these girls from my high school were posting about how bad they felt for this Essena girl on facebook. I generally hate any articles girls from my high school post on facebook, what can I say...I'm a hater. Now I just think her temper tantrum is over done BUT I do hope that in some strange way it has helped a few teenage girls out there.
    I guess for me I don't understand the "shock factor" she seems to think paid instagram advertising really should be igniting. I feel sorry that she was sad and felt like her only validity came from her looks...but I think that is a common feeling when you work in an industry like modeling (even if you are a instagram model and not walking the runways of Paris). Sad she felt like her only worth came from being skinny and pretty? Yes...but not entirely newsworthy to me. Don't most teenage girls go through periods of insecurity? Isn't the entire premise of modeling FAKE poses and looking pretty and perfect? Maybe I'm just confused which could easily be the case.

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  21. The Hills was totally real, they pretended it was a lie to make it more real because everything online is the truth. Obviously. :)

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  22. Looooooved this post. Didn't really know how to sum up my feelings about the whole Essena thing, but you nailed it perfectly, with perfect sarcasm! Always an added bonus. Also did Kristen really say that!? Yikes.

    Janay
    http://lovemelightsout.blogspot.com

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  23. Haha, I love this but that whole story really did give me a reality check!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  24. When I read your posts, I think that you'd fit in so well with my family (in a not creepy way). The sarcasm and smart ass comments make me feel warm inside (also, in a not creepy way). I think I came off too creepy, so I'll wait until your next post to comment. I'll work on it.
    http://www.paperrosies.com/

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  25. I'm glad you wrote about it, I knew you'd have a nice outlook on it. I mean jeez Tay, you can only pull the wool over our eyes for so long with those fake Insta posts. I literally watched the Bad Blood video for an entire weekend trying to see you....ugh, I could have binge watched so many other things! lol

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  26. Social media is what you make it. If she simply wanted to quit, she could have quietly deleted her accounts and gone away. She is completely missing her own point with her cry for attention on social media! Teenagers, what can I say.

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  27. I haven't really paid much attention to social media trends, because I have been plenty busy with my own work.

    Although I am usually honest on social media, when I am not, the dishonesty is always a result of omission instead of fabrication. I don't see where lying gets a person, because once the bluff is called, ruin follows.

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  28. I really wish the first commenter didn't delete her comment. I REALLY want to read it. 👎🏽

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  29. HILARIOUS. Love your post. Though I do feel for the girl, she's just a kid. I was a hot mess at 18. I don't know how I would have handled the pressure to look/be perfect and answer to paid sponsors. Sounds like she's developed some mental health issues (not eating for days to take the perfect bikini pic?!), so I hope she's doing what's best for her.

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  30. Please tell me you watched the video where she stayed up all night and then was so amazed by nature and the trees that SHE VIDEOTAPED THE WHOLE THING FOR A WEBSITE. Please... treat yourself. I'm concerned everyone does everything for shock value.

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