My Real Life Battle With W.U.D.

Friday, January 15, 2016


So what's with the all the headless photos I've been posting lately?

I've actually been wanting to address this for awhile. So thank you for asking, fictional person. To be completely honest, in the winter I suffer from a disease called W.U.D. I've talked about it before, but not a lot because it can be a little embarrassing.

In my opinion, it's extremely under diagnosed, hard to treat, and very hard on the self confidence.

I should also note it's a very superficial illness. Perhaps you've heard of it, it's more commonly known as Winter Ugly Disorder. It tends to affect people a little more heavily in northern regions where they can go weeks without seeing the sun. (Did I use the correct "affect" there? Or is it effect? I don't know and I don't care bc it doesn't MAKE SENSE.)

W.U.D. can also cause slight freak-outs, as you just noticed above regarding my lack of grammar knowledge.

W.U.D. affects everyone differently depending on your genetics and lifestyle. For example, some of my side effects include dry and flaky skin, known to feel like it's on fire if the correct lotion is not applied.

Do I want to admit I spent an hour yesterday watching beauty videos on youtube trying to figure out why every woman's face I see appears moist and dewy while mine is practically cracking off? No. No I don't want to admit that.

Also, what's going on with this look right now? I don't love my dry skin, but I may prefer it to the drenched wet look- if I'm being truthful. But maybe that's my W.U.D. speaking!!

Because of W.U.D., at any given moment my hair looks like a three year old ran a balloon over it. When I brush it, I can actually hear pieces of my hair snap.

My lips are chapped and cracked all the time. And if I'm not careful, I might just end up with that red ring of shame around my mouth like the dirty kid from elementary who couldn't stop licking his damn lips. You know who you are.

Other symptoms of W.U.D. include:

*A face that does not match one's neck.
*Orange palms and fingers. And ankle bones.
*Excess hair growth on the legs.
*Increased appetite: for pizza.
*Wearing the same sweatpants day after day.
*Starting Scandal from the beginning on Netflix.
*Looking at Kayla Itsines abs on Instagram.
*The desire to start drinking at 4:30 p.m.
*Buying teeth whiteners on amazon because maybe whiter teeth will make you feel better.
*Scrolling TBT photos of yourself from college on spring break and thinking, man I'd never wear that short ass skirt now. But I do look kinda cute... Wonder if I still own that skirt?

But most of all, W.U.D. affects the self esteem. It hits you at the core. And we all deal with this in our own way. For me personally, I try to overcompensate my WUDiness by posting disgusting videos of myself on snapchat exposing my likeliness to Joe Dirt and our similar blonde mullets.

You can't deny there is a resemblance there.  

But I refuse to let my W.U.D. run my life. I'm getting a haircut today! A real one. Not one I do over the sink right before I shower.

If you suffer from W.U.D., it's time to stop hiding. We can beat this. Get off your couch, bathe in a tub of Vaseline, and then bronze yourself with bronzer like you've never bronzed before!

You got this.

No go have a great weekend, everyone!



32 comments:

  1. I'm suffering too! Pink blotchy face and static hair!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm feeling the W.U.D> intensely. symptoms: the excessive hair growth and over use of bronzer.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I, too, suffer from WUD. Ask YOUR doctor what you can do for flaky dry patches of skin, redness, absurd static and orange face/white neck syndrome (haha - I wrote something similar that I coincidentally re-posted this morning.. I tagged you on FB!) Too funny.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I totally get you. My hair is a mess in the winter! static and curly hair is not pleasant. I over-moisturize, if that is even a real thing? I use aquaphor for my lips and nothing else until it gets warm again! Nothing sexy about it but it works!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ugh. i'm sure it's worse up north, but the WUD happens in the south too. Main symptoms: face/neck different colors, low self esteem due to ridiculous paleness, said paleness adding to the ridiculous under eye circles/bags, tendency to say "f*** it" with regards to hair, and live in a messy bun .... yeah. I'm with you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hilarious - guilty! I recently saw a frighteningly pale photo of myself and am kind of horrifed it's what I actually look like. Summer needs to get here STAT!

    Annessa
    www.seekingsunshine.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh yes W.U.D is very real here in Minnesota. Especially when one goes shopping for a beach vacation in January... Let's just say what I saw in the mirror while trying on dresses and swimming suits was enough to make me nearly cancel the trip to Mexico.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I totally have WUD. Except mine never goes away...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dude. I hear you on the dry winter skin. My grandpa bestowed upon me the gift of old man hands during the winter months (genes...if that wasn't quite clear). This post was hilarious, but I may have a real solution for you. A sponge. Specifically, this brand of magical sponges: http://www.amazon.com/MY-Konjac-Natural-Dehydrated-Fatigued/dp/B00ITEBAHG/ref=pd_sim_194_4?ie=UTF8&dpID=51FQjyDDImL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR133%2C160_&refRID=0SBPBMB1ZPFHAAH8GSGS

    They have them for every "problem" (dehydrated skin, dry skin, oily skin, etc.). I love mine! Also, I finally broke down and bought a humidifier this winter and I don't know whhhhhy it took me so long to enjoy non-brittle air entering and exiting my lungs.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Affect is a verb. Effect is a noun. That will cover 99.9% of your affect/effect issues. Thank me later!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THANK YOU FOR THIS - this is the one grammar problem to which I always fall victim. (see what I did there?)

      Delete
    2. As a follow-up: remember that affect is the verb because affect is the action! (How I taught my high school students that.)

      Delete
  12. I think I am suffering from WUD Tay, with all these god damn layers everytime I leave the house I feel like a polar bear that needs to be rolled to my destination.

    guesswhathollie.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  13. MY ginger skin is especially sensitive this time of year too. Luckily it's ok if I look totally pale. However the cracked patches of skins and random bleeding from unconsciousness bleeding is quite disappointing.

    ReplyDelete
  14. And like I begin every comment on your posts....I CAN'T WITH YOU! hahaha

    I have come to the conclusion that I can't eat or drink while reading your post because it will end up EVERYWHERE due to my laughing uncontrollably!

    I am suffering from W.U.D too...I feel you, Sista!

    -Ashlee Michelle
    www.makeupandmodifieds.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. I've got the WUD bad. But mostly because I'm rocking my winter sweater body.....you know, that extra layer of blubber really helps keep things warm and snuggly.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I broke down last year and got a humidifier (a tiny one, perfect for a Chicago apartment) and it has worked WONDERS. No more cracked lips, no more staticky blankets...amazing. Go to target and shell out the $40, you won't regret it!

    I think this is the one I got. There are so many different kinds that my head was spinning, so I just picked one and went for it. I like it though! http://www.target.com/p/honeywell-warm-moisture-humidifier/-/A-14114735#prodSlot=medium_1_6&term=humidifier

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow I had no idea you could get a humidifier for such a reasonable prince and size! Thanks for the tip!

      Delete
    2. Haha I meant price not prince... although a reasonably sized prince does sound good too!

      Delete
  17. I suffer the same as you. My lips are all cracked and sore, my skin is red and dry it is absolutely gross. It seems no lotion will work and applying make up irritates it more ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I suffer more from WLD than WUD. WLD, Winter Lazy Disorder (duh), comes less from the elements and more from my tendency to burrow under the covers for as many hours as possible and ignoring any kind of personal hygiene. The cold does something to me, man..

    ReplyDelete
  19. Move to Hawaii! Our winter temps are in the 60s..so cold. So brave.

    ReplyDelete
  20. For reals - I feel you. The Body Shop's Vitamin E Moisture Mask is AMAZING on dry skin. I'm not sure if you have one in Chicago (I'm assuming you do.. I'm in Canada. I basically live in an igloo!), but it's unreal. Seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Coconut Oil. Utah is the worst for dry freezing air and sometimes my skin itches so bad I think I might die. Coconut oil helps dry hair, dry skin and dry lips.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I live in IN and also suffer from WUD. It's certainly a northerns disease :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I live in IN and also suffer from WUD. It's certainly a northerns disease :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. i truly belief this. My hubby finds it super hard to during the winters. Then he seems all better once the sun is out. Vitamin D is a life saver, but doesn't cure it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I felt this way sometimes when I lived up north! Now that I live in Florida I don't deal with it obviously, but the struggle is real when all you want to do is stay indoors rather than going out in the cold weather! Ick.

    ReplyDelete