|I am v unique.|
I wanted to be CeeCee Bloom. I don't even know if she had an agent, but in my head she did. And if I couldn't be CeeCee, at the very least I wanted to be that girl who could walk on her hands up and down stairs. When I was younger the ability to walk on your hands was EVERYTHING to me. What a great party trick, you know? My feet are tired, guess it's time to WALK ON MY HANDS!
But I never quite got it. Instead I usually had to settle for a hand-stand against a wall. Ugh.
My desire to have an agent only got worse with the movie Life With Mikey. All of those precocious kids getting sent out on commercial auditions, what a dream!
But alas, I was never the child star I hoped I would be. No matter how many of those weird hotel conventions I attended that were advertised via radio "ARE YOU DISNEY'S NEXT BIG THING?" I'm listening...
I didn't really attend those things! But if I did, don't judge me or my parents. Everyone makes that mistake once. Or three times.
On Tuesday an agency in Chicago called me in to audition. They reached out to me per the request of a casting director I met with a few weeks ago (NBD or anything) the casting director originally told me my monologue was too dark and they wanted something funny and did I have anything else? No. I didn't. So instead I did standup in a brightly lit room at 10:00 a.m. in the morning for two people sitting five feet away.
And they liked it. Or they felt bad for me?
Anyway, it brought me to Tuesday where I was sitting in an agency waiting room looking at the head shots on the wall of the famous actors who have come before me.
I'd waited a long time for this audition. Like 20+ years. It's taken me that long just to get my "foot in the door" for an agency to even bring me in. I'm a late bloomer, lay off me! It took me 15 years to learn how to shoot a free throw and I still screwed that up.
Anyway, I let myself sit in that moment in the waiting room surrounded by talented faces on the wall for a little bit longer as I waited to be called back. Even though I was just attempting to cross off step 1 of 1000 of where I want to be someday, I was doing it. I was trying anyway. Kid-me was pretty proud. My lisp corrector coach from the 90s would have been even prouder. Sally sells seashells by the seashore.
My reads went as good as they could for an audition. Pre-audition I'm always like: I'm gonna nail this so hard. During-audition: shit why am I not nailing this? Post-audition: damn it, I feel like I could have nailed that harder.
I need to audition more if I really want to be comfortable in front of a camera. That damn thing throws me off.
I waited a few days to write about this in hopes I could tell this wonderful story of triumph of wanting an agent for so long and ending it with, and now I officially have representation!!!!!
But I don't.
No callbacks have been made. No emails sent (not that I'm checking, I haven't checked in at least three minutes.) It was a long shot they'd sign me, but I'm hopeful to a fault and still thought maybe just maybe...
But that's the nature of this business.
It might take me longer than the average bird, but I'll find my way in somehow. And in the meantime I'll just keep slinging t-shirts and listening to the Secret on audiobook. Just keep swimming.
That one's for the Group.