The Maid Of Honor Speech

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Dear Diary,

I'm feeling exceptionally intense today. I have a lot on mind.

I'm walking around with that feeling like I have a big track meet tomorrow and I want to do good but I know the 200 meter dash might be a bit of a doozy and I'm already nervous about it. What if I get wobbly legs at the end and can't finish? What if I pee my pants in the starting block (again)? So many outcomes are unknown.

For starters, T-Shirt Town blew up last night. I got a nice little mention on Instagram and had a record evening for sales. It was wonderful, but it's also a little scary. Big sale nights = t-shirt trolls crawling out of their holes to grab my designs. And they seem extra hungry right now.

But that's not where the track feeling is coming from.

The track feeling is about a certain maid of honor speech I have to give on Saturday. I take speeches very seriously. They are my favorite part of a wedding. I judge them hard, but in turn, I fully expect people to judge mine. It's only fair. And thus the nerves.

It's added pressure when I know everyone involved with this wedding are funny people. The bride, the groom, the wedding party, it's a fun group. I can't help but feel like expectations are high. I'm hearing that voice in my head that says, dance for us, monkey! dance!

I just don't want to be blown out of the water by the best man speech, you know? I hate when people say, "the guys' speeches are always funnier." Because it doesn't have to be this way. Both speeches can be entertaining.

That's my goal for Saturday. I want to give heartfelt speech about the bride, that is also enjoyable to watch. Right? Isn't that what makes a good speech? If that means I have to put on my tap shoes and dance like a money in a top hat, I will do that. It's my duty as the MOH.

And now like my friend Bad Girl Ri Ri says, it's time to work, work, work. Pop stars. T-Shirt sellers. One in the same! We're all living our dreams.

Follow @thedailytay on snapchat for a peak behind t-shirt town today, you will probably get very embarrassed for me a time or two. Chris can't even watch anymore. LOLS.

It's almost Fridayyyyyyy. Maybe.


  1. I love t-shirt town! And I bet you'll give the best maid of honor speech anyone has ever heard. I bet people would hire you to be their maid of honor just for the speech, even if they don't know you. I wonder if that's a thing?

  2. I think you will probably give the best maid of honor speech ever. You should probably have someone record it, just in case!

  3. I hope you post your speech by next week because I have to deliver my sisters next weekend and my paper is still BLANK. I could use some of your humor in my speech :)

  4. Can you please record the speech? TIA.

  5. Ok you said maid of honor speech I read maid of horror speech, maybe not a good thing to mention but it is done I have said it, it's out there I could take it back but I'm not doing so.

  6. T-shirt lady is my favorite. I told you, even the hubs is on board with the craziness. Speaking of.. I need to make a purchase sometime soon...

  7. Good luck on your speech! I am sure that you will rock it. :)