“We like flirty conflict,” the producer said on our first audition/interview.
Flirty conflict? We can do that, I thought. We do that every day.
I like modern! Chris says. But I like vintage, I respond with a cute, how will we ever compromise??? look on my face. Then we giggle and roll our eyes at each other, while also looking into the camera.
We joked, poked fun at each other, and in my very humble opinion nailed the interview. And so there was a second one. And a third. And each time the producer we were working with coached us on what to say, and how to say it, and how to keep that “flirty conflict” on just the right level on fun, without out looking like John and Kate Gosselin garbage monsters.
Now if you haven’t heard, I’m about to ruin this show for you and let you know that they don’t actually film until a couple has closed, or are just about to close on their house. So all choices have been made. There’s no real house hunting going on.
Our closing date was a pretty quick turnaround for what they normally work with, so we actually got permission from our sellers to get in a few days before our close date in order to film the necessary shots. They were super cool about it so it all seemed just perfect.
Between you and I, I’d never watched the show. But because I take my acting career VERY seriously, I started watching episodes on Netflix to figure out the character I needed to be.
I need a HUGE dining room and kitchen for my dinner parties! (I would pronounce HUGE like YUGE.) I will not budge. I host annual dinner parties and I need a lot of room to entertain. My guests LOVE my dinner parties. Everyone tells me, Taylor, we LOVE your dinner parties.
Dinner party woman was the character my friend Sarah, suggested I play. I was really into this idea.
There was also this,
I need an entire room where I can keep my Precious Moment Figurines. And I need to make sure the air in this room is always kept at an even 86 degrees, because my figurines get cold. And then their eyes start to droop even more.
Or attic lady,
I really need a space with a great attic! Because I love Home Alone. And I love bats!
You get the idea, I was ready to have some fun.
I just couldn’t believe we really had the opportunity to be on this show. Talk about good exposure! For what exactly, I wasn’t sure. But I was going to make the most of it, that I knew.
Everything was going smoothly.
Until we got the email saying that one owner in our new building refused to sign the release. There are six units in our new space, all are owners, and all seem like good people, except this one grumpy asshole who stood in the way of me and being on House Hunters.
We had until 3 p.m. on September 27th to get him to sign. Our realtor emailed him. The producers emailed him. I emailed him. Harlow emailed him. We sent him photos of us, explained that he would never be on camera, nor would his shitty unit where he is clearly doing illegal stuff. In short, this would effect his life in no way.
And yet he refused.
Am I bitter? Noooooooo. Me? Never. Noooooooooooooo. I hardly even think about it anymore.
So no, we are not going to be on House Hunters. I will not get to play crazy Dinner Party lady, whom I was going to reveal in the “look at us living in our new place” segment, was actually always hosting dinner party for dogs. Talk about a plot twist.
It was not meant to be. I guess I’ll have to figure out a different way to get on TV. Don’t worry, I already have something in the works…
Happy weekending, I’m about to spend the next 48 hours packing up our place. Have I mentioned how much I love moving? I’m not being sarcastic, I LOVE it. This weekend is going to be awesome.