Justice at the Grocery Store
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
It was Monday morning and I made my trip to Trader Joe's a little earlier than usual. I had a busy day ahead of me. Who didn't though, it was a Monday.
I was scurrying around the store grabbing my staples, hoping to get in and out within twenty minutes. Mind you, I had enough time to snap that fancy little pumpkin pic above because priorities, you know?
Staples include: Pumpkin cereal, pumpkin bread, pumpkin waffles, pumpkin bars, pumpkin chips, pumpkin butter and pumpkin pumpkins. I'm kidding, kind of. But TJ gets a little over zealous with their pumpkin selection this time of year and I did not make any of those items up.
As I made my way to the front it became clear I wasn't the only woman in yoga pants on a mission to get in and out on a Monday morning. The three checkers open were four people deep and it did not look like anyone would be ringing the Trader Joe bell of freedom anytime soon. The only short line was the "12 or Less."
As we were all waiting our turn a woman pushing a cart full of items strolled up to the front and exhaled loudly when she saw the lines before her. Her child was a mini-me of herself and also sighed heavily at the long line of customers, while pushing her own miniature cart full of items.
The woman, who we'll call Busy Mom, eyed our lines, then the short line for the 12 or less, and then acted extremely distracted while casually inching her cart toward the express line. And every other customer bit their lip while screaming oh HELL NO, in their head. At least I did.
Busy Mom pushed her way right up to the express line while we all looked on wondering what was going to happen.
And then I saw who the checker was, my main gal Marta, the Russian TJ worker who takes no shit. Marta works every Monday I'm there and the small talk we make upon checkout is always very cordial, but right down to the point.
"You like these? I have not tried. Okay, bye."
"These are healthy. Not very good, but good for you. Okay, bye."
She speaks in a heavy Russian accent and I am quite fond of her.
Marta takes one look at the woman's cart and points to her express sign and says, "No. Twelve items or less. You have more."
And the room erupted. Women started throwing pumpkins at each other. I tossed my cart out the glass window. Children were biting the heads off the spiky gourds. The sample guy was throwing tofu nuggets everywhere. It was wonderful.
Busy Mom did not think it was wonderful. She looked at the sign, then back at Marta and was pissssssed off.
"Well I didn't see that," she said, still expecting Marta to budge. As if. She clearly had never met Marta.
Okay Busy Mom, why would we all just choose the long lines if there was one quick one open? Riddle me that.
Marta was not rude, just matter of fact. "Too many items, go to other line. Okay, bye."
And Busy Mom and Busy Child stomped off, joining the longer lines with the rest of us. Grocery Store justice had been served.
And it gave me far too much joy to see it happen. Am I a terrible person for enjoying this? Probably. I also really enjoy airplane justice, traffic justice, and any other type of justice where someone is blatantly being an asshole and gets called out for it.
Coming up tomorrow: What To Do When You've Become The Asshole In Workout Class Who Can't Stop Judging Everyone Else's Form.