The Flu Diaries

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

The flu bug struck our house around 1:00 a.m. Sunday morning.

I guess it actually struck 12-48 hours earlier according to WebMd. Who gave it to me? I shall never know. But it latched on to me hard.

In hindsight, I'm glad it struck this past weekend rather than Christmas week as it usually does. Does this happen to anyone else's family? Every single year it seems... It's a nasty bug this time around as it's still hanging on a bit today in the form of stomach cramping and a headache that won't budge.

That's the thing, I always forget how terrible the flu is until I'm living it. I jokingly said to Chris just a weeks ago, "I wish I could get the flu or something so I could just lay in bed all day and not feel guilty about it. Ha ha."

Ha. Ha.  Wish granted, idiot.

My steps for coping with it are always the same. When I was first woken up in the middle of the night with that awful nauseous feeling the first thing that came to mind was denial.

It's all in my head. I'm not really sick. Go back to sleep.

But then I was running to the bathroom, hand held to mouth.

After the first round I told myself it was food poisoning.

You'll feel better now. Just go back to sleep.

Until round two.

Shit is this really the flu? No. No, it can't be. Why didn't I listen to Aiden on that damn Walgreens commercial about getting a flu shot?

I never get, or even think about flu shots, until I have the flu.

For the next 6-7 hours, almost every 40 minutes on the dot, you know what happened. The pain, the cramping, the fire in the throat, the hugging the toilet...

Denial officially became acceptance when I brought my pillow right outside the bathroom door and slept there, no longer able to walk the ten extra steps to the bed. That's when you know it's really bad. I would have slept in the bathroom but unfortunately our rug was in the dryer as I had decided to wash it earlier in the day. At the time it killed me, but in the big scheme of things, it was best our cream rug wasn't in there for what went down.

Until 4 p.m. the next day I tossed and turned in pure misery. Body on fire, then completely frozen. Back and forth. Back and forth. I felt like I was an old-timey child living on the prairie, fighting for my life as ma and pa and uncle Albert stood around my bedside wondering if I'd make it.

I made it, but barely.

I tried to shower around 6 p.m. but ended up back on the floor on the towel. It was just too much, too soon. And so instead I crawled downstairs, curled up on the couch, and tried to sip some 7-Up \.

The vomiting had officially worn off, but the stomach cramps had kicked in even harder. However I could still see a light at the end of the tunnel.

That is until Chris said, "I think I'm starting to feel a little sick myself..."


Why God why??????????

Part II of the Flu Diaries: When The Man Flu Hits.


  1. Ugh. Hope you're both feeling better soon. I never get flu shots, except when I worked with the public (waitress and shopgirl). People are GROSS. Now I work in an office, and my coworkers are gross. One guy got the entire office sick last year. If he pulls that crap again, I'm going to beg that HR send him home.

  2. I feel your pain. I have been dealing with stomach issues since Saturday. I had the worst headache of my life on Sunday and am still feeling off today too. And, I'm trying to take care of my two kiddos while my husband is gone. Yuck! Hope you feel better soon!!

  3. I hate the flu, it sucks and makes us feel like we are dying so I hope you are doing better now

  4. If it makes you feel any better, Aiden from the Walgreens commercial WAS advertising the flu shot...but that only covers the respiratory flu, not the stomach bug. Getting pricked with a needle wouldn't have helped you in this situation :(

  5. Hi! First of all I love your blog. The humor and writing always put a smile on my face. This is the first time I have felt it necessary to comment, because the symptoms you are describing are not a result of the flu. They are symptoms of gastroenteritis. The problem is people call it the "stomach flu" which leads to people thinking it is what the flu shot protects you from. The flu shot protects from the Influenza virus which results in an upper respiratory viral infection. I don't want to diminish your symptoms, because they do suck, but please know the flu itself lasts at least a week and can lead to more serious infections like pneumonia. So, please get your flu shot!

    1. LOL agreed .. I remember reading it and being like, Damn Taylor, this B beat the flu in 2 days?? Lucky!! LOL I had it for 9 days last time and legit thought I should check myself into a hospital!

    2. I had no IDEA!! What is this "24 hour flu bug" people are always rattling on about?

  6. Ditto to what Mrs. Moyer said!!

  7. I'm still stuck with the flu... 4 days and counting.

  8. The silver-lining is that you got it out of the way before Christmas so that's good. I never get the flu shot either & I cannot wait to read Chris' flu story, I'm sure that he was REALLY close to death. We all know how those men can get when they just have a cold. :\

  9. UGHHHH I sometimes wish I had surveillance cameras in my house for the times I am sick. (or hungover.) I remember trying to make myself an egg and cheese sandwich, and when I cracked the egg in the pan, I thought it was the most disgusting thing in LIFE and I curled up on the kitchen floor and dry heaved forever. It was so bad.

    There is nothing appealing about laying down on a cold tile floor until you are sick beyond belief.

    I got the flu shot this year, and so far so good .. but last year I got it in a nerve and couldn't move my arm for a week! And the year before, I got it and still got the flu anyway!! So really, you had it coming. Glad you're better and cannot wait for part II!

  10. Oh sorry! But you're least it wasn't Christmas weekend!

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  12. The "24-hour flu" that some people talk about is probably better described as the "24-hour bug" which often is more of a stomach ailment than a respiratory ailment.

    When I was 8th grade, I had a fever with what my Dad diagnosed as true influenza, but it went away in 24 hours. Thankfully for me, vomiting was not one of the symptoms.

    However, a few summers ago, I had viral gastroenteritis, with diarrhea but no vomiting. It was still downright annoying. Oversharing, I know...