On Leaving My 20s

Thursday, February 23, 2017

I'm approaching the last few months of my twenties and it's starting to mess with my head.

I know age is just a number and it's better than the alternative, and blah blah blah. Trust me, I give myself those pep-talks all the time. There's just something about that big 3-0 that freaks me out and makes me question all the things. (Professionally and creatively, speaking.)

Such as.... Is there where I thought my career would be? No. And a little yes. I always knew I'd work for myself, I just wasn't sure how. I naturally assumed I would be an underground candy saleswoman forever. Thank God that only lasted a few months in the mid 90s.

Would I work for the Schwans Man? No. But I won't pretend there wasn't a brief time (also in the 90s) when I considered this based solely on the fact I thought that having this job meant I could eat all of the spicy chicken strips, ice-cream drumsticks, and egg rolls my little heart desired.

And if you would have asked me when I got a little more mature (like a pre-teen) I probably would have told you that I wanted to work at a magazine. Because as a child I assumed adulthood meant working at a magazine in a big city, wearing slip dresses with strappy stilettos, and saying things like, "I have to get the marketing report done for the big meeting tomorrow, so maybe just one more Cosmo!"

Also, I was Andie Anderson. Or Jenna Rink. Because every "single successful woman" worked at a magazine in the early 2000s. And she was okay being single! But was also desperately seeking a man to show her what real happiness meant.

Where was I? Oh yes, talking about how turning 30 is messing with my head.

While I didn't envision life as T-Shirt lady, I can't help but appreciate the hell out of it never the less. Doing as I please (almost) every day is a huge factor on my happiness level. Also not wearing slip dresses and stilettos helps my happiness factor, as well.

The thing that stings when I think about turning 30 is the fact that I haven't finished any major creative project up to this point.

Dreamer-Me naturally assumed I'd have five books published by now, a movie, maybe won some awards. Why not? Dreamer-Me says I can do anything.

Real-Me says then DO IT already.

The Academy Awards are on this Sunday. I watch them every year and usually cry during the acceptance speeches from newbies that say, "If I can do this, anyone can! This is for all the dreamers out there." Those speeches get me because I believe them. But then I have to remind myself that behind all of those pretty speeches lies a lot of hard work and grit. Two things I've been lacking when it comes to writing.

I've basically put  all of my creative projects on the back burner to grow my business. I know a lot of the greats know how to master both- their work and their passion projects. I just haven't quite yet, however it's about damn time I do.

I have three months to finish my twenties and go out on a strong note. That being said, I've got a lot of work to do today.


  1. You and your determination! You've done well, Taylor, I would give to be where you are!

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog

  2. Get it girl!! Enjoy these last few months of your 20's!

    Her Heartland Soul

  3. Oh I totally know what you mean with the whole, magazine working woman in strappy heels haha! That is such the image I had for myself when I "grew up" as well!

  4. First, those Schwans drumsticks were LIFE.

    Second, I turned 30 last year and it FREAKED ME OUT. Good news though - it's not so bad on the other side!

  5. Love the determination! I can't wait to be able to leave my full-time corporate job and do my own thangggg. Hopefully this year! And also yes to the Schwan's man. The ice cream and the blacked chicken alfredo were LIFE. I'd get so excited when he'd pull in to my parent's driveway!

  6. I have weeks until I am 30 and I have to say that you aren't alone in questioning some things - that is for sure!

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  8. Awww! Love this! Feel that whole working in a magazine thing. Might still be my dream tbh hahaha

    Madison xx

    MY BLOG: http://www.bymybedside.com

  9. I'm there, too! 30 in July and although I'm truly happy with where I'm at in my life, I think it's just normal to "evaluate" when we get to these milestones. And thank God we're not TOO comfortable, when you think about it, because then we'd have nothing to look forward to. ;)

    I'm with you on the magazine career (I think I still harbor these fantasies, ha!) and wanting so badly to finish (or hell, even really start) a creative endeavor. I'm a book publicist so I meet a lot of people who have gone through/are going through that process. It's interesting insight!

    Among other things, you should be proud of building your blog. It's not easy to keep coming back to the same space time and time again, but you've maintained a genuine voice and captive audience. :)

    Cheers to 29 now and 30 soon enough!

  10. Don't fret. Maybe that big creative thing is supposed to come in your 30's. If you were focused on a business and something creative, would you still have time for Harlow? Think of Harlow.


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  12. It is just an age, 20 years from now you wonder why it messed with you so much, as long as one is living a happy life surrounded by people who love and care for them all should be good

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  15. I turn 30 in June, and I have a lot of the same feelings. I thought I would have published a book by now. I thought I would have a baby by now, or at least be pregnant. I definitely thought I'd actually be earning real money in my career, but instead I'm a part-time housewife, part-time work-from-home blogger and social media influencer. Which my husband actually loves, and long-term, the passive income revenue streams I'm building will be awesome, but right now, I feel inadequate.

  16. I haven't been able to manage my work and my work and my passion projects either. It's hard to work really really hard and have that grit. I get tired.

  17. I also for some reason always assumed I'd wear heels every day and drink a lot of cosmos... really all I want is sweatpants and beer on my couch, and for calories. Or to count!

    I hit the big 3-0 next year and I'm already starting to panic and reflect on how much I want to accomplish before then (and what I've done already)

    I don't think an oscar is in the cards... but maybe i can sweet talk my way into a 30-under-30 list! Then again 40-under-40 gives me 10 more chances to get on the list...

    Laura @ www.cookwineandthinker.com

    1. Calories not to count* maybe by 30 I'll know how my iPhone works