Don't Be a Drunk Bride

Friday, April 7, 2017

My mom told me no less than 100 times before my wedding, "no one likes a drunk bride."

To which I often said, "I disagree. I love drunk brides." And then she'd roll her eyes and I'd roll mine and blah blah blah.

I was never worried about drinking too much at my wedding because in a way it felt like a show to me, like a comedy show or a standup set. And while I like to have a drink to relax (two max) before doing comedy, I never over-do it because I'm usually too nervous, and I know I have to be in control.

Thus was the case with my wedding. And there's also the fact I wanted to remember every second of it, I've heard horror stories of brides who accidentally drank too much and forgot their entire reception... After two years of planning one single day, no thanks, I'd never forgive myself.

Although some of the photos toward the end of the reception would prove otherwise, I was perfectly happy sipping champagne (and the occasional Fireball shot) for the majority of our wedding. But yes, due to the elements (the entire thing outside) and also because my face doesn't hold makeup well (I think that means I get greasy) I am a hot-mess in several photos toward the end of the night.

My hair is crunchy and windblown, my extensions were looking cray, half of my makeup had slid off my face, and the beauty of it all is that I never recall looking in the mirror, and yet I walked around feeling like a GD queen the entire night. "Everyone look at how good I look!"

In hindsight, I can't help but wonder if there was a guest or two who saw me at one point and was like,

"yo, should we say something to her?"

and then they looked at me on the dance floor, whipping my hair back and forth, thinking/acting like I was Rihanna and then thought, "nope, let her be who she is."

Oh, the joys of being a totally unaware bride. I wouldn't change it for the world.

*but actually I would, because trust me when I say the photos at the end are not. good.


I'm taking this walk down memory lane today because I just had to delete our wedding website and it broke my heart a little.

Ugh, I still miss it. I miss being in Steamboat with all of our friends and family. I miss laying in bed every night and imagining how much fun it would be (it met every expectation.) However, I do not miss the wedding nightmares.

If you notice I'm suddenly writing posts like "10 Things I Learned From Our Wedding" know that it's just because I want an excuse to talk about our wedding because I'm an egotistical maniac who can't let it go. So I hope that's cool with you!

All that said, here's a few fun wedding shirts I just released that are very tongue and cheek and perfect for dare I say .... the after party, your bachelorette, his bachelor party, the entire honeymoon, anything you want. Ext and so forth. Found: here.

Happy weekend, friends. WE MADE IT!!


  1. Last summer I attended a very small and casual wedding where the bride wore a lovely tea-length dress. She was so schmammered towards the end that she had trouble standing and was sitting with her legs propped on the table... all the lady bits open for the world to see. Not how any bride should be remembered.

  2. haha, looked like a fun day! It's hard to avoid getting quite tipsy at your own wedding actually as I remember everyone kept giving me champagne at mine :)

  3. Haha, I would never have this problem because I hate the taste of alcohol! But hey, being drunk works for you, why let others tell you otherwise? ;)

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog

  4. I JUST started planning my wedding (like two weeks ago) and I am already having wedding nightmares! So I say bring on alllll the wedding advice posts, I can use all the help I can get!!!

    Also, after you posted those shirts on IG, I sent them to my fiance and we immediately agreed that we're getting them for our bachelor/bachelorette party. They're amazing.

  5. My 2 year anniversary is MONDAY and I cannot wait! The time truly does fly and I miss it so much.

  6. Well this sounds exactly like my mom. I made a comment the other day about limos to the church and my girls drinking while getting ready and I got a sharp "NO ONE BETTER BE DRINKING TOO MUCH" response. She has said the exact same words your mom has, countless times!

  7. Jackie new better than to say this to me haha! I don't know if I was actually drunk (yes I was drunk, thanks tequila) but in between the xanax and anxiety and champagne I was drunk. But it was a weird I kind of remember it all and was happy drunk. And now that I've mentioned tequila I think I need a marg after work! Cheers to the weekend friend!!!!

  8. I had a coworker years ago who told me about her wedding in New Orleans. She and her fiance had agreed to limit themselves to a bottle of champagne EACH before the wedding. She told me she was so drunk that during the horse and carriage ride with her Dad through the French Quarter to the church they had to stop so she could throw up over the side with her Dad just patting her on the back saying, "Get it on out honey, there's more drinking to do!"

    I was both mortified for her and amazed. She said they were a heavy drinking family but DAMN.

    1. hahahaha oh my gosh. this is insane.

  9. I worked a wedding a few weeks ago where the bride wasn't wearing a bra or panties under her wedding dress so when my coworker helped her change into her shorter reception dress she suggested she put on panties. After the bride couldn't find her own panties, they found her grandmother's panties in a drawer! Then while I was frantically looking for the bride right before the garter toss, she was already super drunk. To the point that when I asked if she still had her garter on she lifted up her dress (a little too high) to show me. Then she lifted it up even more and said, "I'm wearing my grandmother's panties! Do they look okay?!" I told her yes and to put her dress back down!

  10. I have never been to a wedding where there bride got too drunk but I can imagine it was not pretty!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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